And the Lobster says "Moo"

Ok, so I was born outside of Chicago, IL; but I moved to California when I was 3 so I claim to be a Californian, I even have a CA Social Security Number. I lived in Southern California until I was 19 and then I moved to New Orleans, LA for work. I fell in love with the place and ended up living there off and on for 3 years. When I was finally forced to move back to California, I moved to Brentwood; nestled right between Santa Monica and West Los Angeles. It was awesome. I had a crazy roommate named Annemarie that liked to try and seduce my friends, now I hear she is pregnant and married. She was substantially older at the time and it ended up just being weird. At this time I was going all over the greater Southern California area "raving" and managed to meet some of the best friends I will ever have and actually still talk to. Well I moved back home after a year and quit my job as a paralegal, and then did one of the strangest things I have ever done, I joined the Navy. I reported to Boot Camp at Great Lakes, IL on Jun 30 2001 with the intentions of being a Nuclear Engineer and promptly started training in Charleston, SC just days before 9/11. When 9/11 hit everything changed, the base went on high alert and security was impossible. I was scared to death, but felt glory in serving my country. The base went to high alert, removed all of the civilians and left us alone. It was a very strange time, but we still managed to sneak beer into our barracks rooms. Most of my time in Nuclear power school was built around this fear/pride, I wanted to get to the fleet and do things. I started doubting why I joined the nuclear field. Then it was time to move to the next phase of training, actually operating a Nuclear reactor. So I transferred to Balston Spa, NY and settled in to do the last round. I went into it with open arms and a group of great friends, we all moved into the same neighborhood and promptly got in trouble. I took the fall and got on the radar of the command and through a series of bad steps got released to the fleet. So I transferred to Groton, CT and waited for new orders. I was hoping to go back to San Diego, but no such luck; couldn't cheat the system at that phase. I ended up going to the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower out of Norfolk, VA. The last place I ever wanted to be stationed. Well I spent 2.5 years there working on the Flight Deck and helping to run the largest division in the Navy and taking on as many major administrative tasks as possible. I learned more about the Navy than most Admirals will ever know. I was a big fish in a very big pond. Then I pulled something out of my hat to move closer to my family, attempting to leave the workaholic behind, and reenlisted so I could move to lovely Corpus Christi, TX. I got settled in, found an apartment, went to my required school and paid off as many bills as possible. Then I reported to my command, a tiny little boat smaller and slower than the Captains Yacht on a carrier, with 8 times the drama. I was put in charge of large things and took them on with the vigor I did on the carrier, but the language in the little worthless Navy is a lot different than the language in the real Navy. I ended up having too much fun and getting out of the Navy. I moved to San Francisco, CA; and attended the California Culinary Academy, where I learned a lot and partied like a frat kid. I met a ton of amazing people from school and consider it to be one of the best decisions of my life. Now I am living outside of Houston, TX and attempting to acclimate to being a small fish in an extremely superficial pond... such is life as a civilian, sometimes I miss the Navy.