Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. ...except prolly running. ...and sit-ups. ...oh yeah, and math. ...probably needlepoint too. I dunno. Maybe I can't do stuff better. But, I CAN find great joy in curling up with a good book, P.B. and J. with the crust cut off, holding hands with pretty girls, grilled cheese sandwhiches, smiling, writing sonnets, going on milk drinking binges, anal sex and doin' some meeean pussy lickin'.I also do some work with the Red Cross and various endangered dolphin charities.
Now honestly, if BOWLING can't even make this thing jump, there's not really much that you can expect me to give a fuck about.
Articulate Sarcastic Assholes, Nurturing Dominatrixes (that don't charge money for worship!), Lonely Soccer Moms, Little Sisters, Connoisseurs of Good Cynicism, Competant Writers, Midgets, Movie Buffs, George Carlin, Rodney Dangerfield, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, Jackson Pollock, Charles Grodin, Kurt Vonnegut, Old People that Play Polka Music, Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Cool Old Black Dudes, Silly Rabbits, Musicians that Don't Suck, The Olsen Twins, Fat Angry Black Women that Say Funny Stuff, Chewbacca, Kurt Cobain, Grover, J.J. (from Good Times), A Skinny Girl with Tits so Big that She Looks Fat, Cheech and/or Chong, My Biological Pet Dog, Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, Whoever Invented Money Shots and Ma' Baby's Momma.
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Mandolin and Guitar (Mandoline et guitare), 1924.
Oil with sand on canvas, 55 3/8 x 78 7/8 inches
~ Pablo Picasso ~
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It's mmm, MMM, {cough} uum... huh?
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Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
~ 1937 - 2005 ~
People I Should Prolly Hang Out With...
I have 420 friends.
Matteo
Billy Bob
Don Keeks
The Puerto Rican Penetrator
Cuzin' Billy
RJ-sito
Mother Foin' Pompa
Little Papa Whop Pants
J
Das Ãœber Matten
Special K
Ninja Joe
Mr. Albert the Toker
The Dude Designs
The Moonshyne Players
PsyKo SOuTH Records©
Angel Ocean©
Primo Liquors
Submittens zine
Kahlena Sardina
My Momma
Titties ( . Y . )
De Quiet One
Pinky McYumYums
Andeeesan
Megatron
Joolie
Karin Pants!
Dancin' Tine
Melonsita
Bitch Ass Hooker
Señorita Looney 'Cornballer' Blanco
Missus Ali VonFunwalls
V.E. Wells
Raquelita
Nataaaliiieeee
View All of My Friends
Grunge, Rock, Reggae, Blues, Fusion, Cuban Folk Music, Metal, Polka, PuNk, BeeBop, Folk, African Tribal Music, Bluegrass, Dixieland, Big Band, Ragtime, Jazz, Low-Fi, Trip-Hop, Traditional Whaling Songs, Indie, Techno, Hippity-Hop, Hardcore, Funk, Negro Spirituals, German Love Ballads and oh yeah, NOT EMO.
And lest not forget...
ALL Coen Bros. Movies (especially The Big Leb.), Snuff Films, Hardcore Lesbian Bondage Porn, Short Circuit 2, High-Brow Intellectual Foreign Films and Ernest Goes to Camp.
Hamster Dance you say? Nay nay, good friends. Tis Roger Miller's WHISTLE STOP and quite possibly one of my favorite movie intros:
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CLICK & Make A Difference:
I know, I know... some of you probably feel like reading is a big pain in the ass, right? Well look at it like this: if you don't read, then you're missing out on an entire genre of media to criticize, mock, demean, satirize, discredit and just plain ol' make fun of! Now honestly, how much fun is that? Besides, you gotta do something while yer poppin' a porcelain squat, right? Am I splitting hairs here? Am I wrong? And I don't even wanna hear anything from the portable-game-system toting masses that are responsible for the demise of most commode-based reading. Just remember, much can go awry when you’re sitting on a throne filled with water and human excrement. Now would you prefer to risk an easily expendable paperback or your new PSP? I thought so.
-This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Pablo’s Organization For Literacy and Low Risk Bathroom Practices.
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Non-egotistical people and… oh yeah, ME.
Oh come on now; don't give me that look. It takes some people thousands of dollars and years of mental therapy to get them to love and accept themselves, and now just because I've managed to bypass the psychiatric gauntlet, you're giving me shit? Honestly. I mean, for a person to even begin to thi- awe crap, fuck this. I gotta go… Mr. Ed's on!