Phonics Monkey profile picture

Phonics Monkey

Ignorance is bliss...hence, the reason that I am so unhappy.

About Me

I have founded a cult called the Cult of Kristianity. We arrived on your planet many of your Earth years ago and are awaiting the return of the Great Mothership,when my followers and I will commit mass suicide and be whisked away to paradise inside the tail of Haley's Comet.

My Interests

People who like to join cults. Also comic books.

I'd like to meet:

People who wish to join my cult. Join Us.

Music:

(In no particular order): The Smashing Pumpkins, Zwan, Billy Corgan, Kiss, Sloan, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The White Stripes, Alice In Chains, The Strokes, Alice Cooper, Queen, Wolfmother, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Guns N' Roses, Mountain, The Go, Judas Priest, Simon and Garfunkel, Blue Oyster Cult, Pink Floyd, Cheap Trick, The Doors, Iron Maiden, Thin Lizzy, The Who, Nirvana, Deep Purple, Soundgarden, T. Rex, Ronnie James Dio, Fleetwood Mac, The Black Crowes, Slayer, Buckcherry, Anthrax, The Zombies, Testament, too many others to list here. I'm a nerd; deal with it.

Movies:

Star Wars (all of them), Lord of the Rings trilogy, the first Halloween, almost all Hitchcock, Spider-Man movies, '80s comedies (particularly anything with John Cusack), pre-mid '80s Horror flicks (too cheesy after that), some indie flicks, Planet of the Apes (the originals, not the dreadful remake), old Godzilla movies, Blow, Falling Down, any B-sci-fi/horror movie of the '70s, Willard, Ben, Babe, Office Space, Napolean Dynamite, the early Friday the 13th films, late '70s/early '80s slasher flicks, Happy Feet, Borat, Zodiac, Blades of Glory ...more than I am willing to sit here and type.

Television:

I don't have the time or desire to watch televison any more, and if I do, it is usually something on PBS that my son is watching, i.e. Thomas, Sesame Street. I try to take in an episode of South Park and Family Guy now and again.

Books:

I am a Marvel zombie. I am into what you would call bookshelf comics, or graphic novels, or trade paperbacks, or collected editions. I am a reader, not a collector in the true sense of the word, in as much that as long I have read ther story I am happy, and do not need to own a CGC 9.8 Wizard sketch cover or whatnot. If you know what that means, ask to be my friend.

Heroes:

Spider-Man, the Silver Surfer.

My Blog

I can’t drive 55.

I Can't Drive 55 Sammy Hagar sang this tune years ago, and lo and behold, we (we being the State of Michigan) are foolishly considering lowering our posted speed limits on the freeway from 70 mph to 5...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:45:00 PST

Spring cleaning

Greetings, fellow Kristians! I have been inactive on myspace as of late, sorely neglecting the needs of my cult members. Weep no more! I have been doing some reorganizing and deep meditation, and am n...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Thu, 29 May 2008 02:07:00 PST

The Best of 2007

Yes, it is that time of year again, where I post my list of favorites. As always, 10 is the lowest ("worst") and 1 is the highest ("best"). TOP 10 MOVIES of 2007 1. American Gangster 2. Zodiac 3....
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:38:00 PST

Higher prices. Lower Standards.

Greetings to all current and future cult members! 2006 has been a banner year for me, what with the birth of my son and all. Obviously that is the highlight of the year, and the best X-Mas present tha...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:20:00 PST

Happy Aught-6!

Curses! I typed out yet another lengthy blog, only to have Internet Explorer seize up and send an error report!  So now, here is a half-assed version of my new blog post. TOP 5 CONCERTS of 2005 1...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Sun, 01 Jan 2006 03:51:00 PST

Take this U-Scan and shove it...

Pet peeve of the moment: U-scans, or more accurately, retarded people who can't figure out how to use them. I got off of work around 5ish today, and rather than fight traffic, I decided to go gro...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Wed, 05 Oct 2005 05:21:00 PST

Like a Rolling Stone

I should be a politician. I could get things done, baby! Let me give you some examples. 1.) I recently purchased McAfee Security Suite, which is like Norton Internet Security (firewall, pop up blocker...
Posted by Phonics Monkey on Tue, 27 Sep 2005 04:04:00 PST