M$♥J

I'd like to meet:

so here's a dose of my personality for those who care to read on... I enjoy writing. It gives me clarity and helps me vent. If we're cool you'd know that I'll be there through thick and thin- no matter what. Even if you've done me wrong, I will put it all aside if you need me. I know what it's like to have no one there for me & if I can help it I wouldn't leave someone in the same situation. Many people have failed me when I relied on them and really needed them - so I know how important it is to not do that to anyone. Even if I'm in no position and have nothing to offer I will try to do as much as I can... and if I ever do fail someone, I will come through as soon as I can and I will never forget. It doesn't matter if we haven't spoke for weeks, months, or years- I pick it up where we left off. I don't take life for granted. I realize that this may be the only life I live and want to take full advantage of what it has to offer... so I am fairly happy most of the time because I try not to waste any time on things that bring me down.. Actually, I don't like wasting time at all (I'm a big itinerary planner). I'm usually doing something constructive or meaningful- that includes having fun! I cannot just sit around and let time go by... I don't do the same thing everyday (aside from work). I have so many interests in life and want to do so much.. I get bored with things easily so variety is a necessity. I'm sharp and quick so I pick things up fast and once I do it usually eventually becomes monotonous. I'm an anal perfectionist. I like to be good at everything I learn.. and it's because I want to be the BEST -or considerably better than others at least. I'm terribly competitive. If I get beaten in anything (that I put real effort in) then you know I'm saying, "rematch!" we're going to go best 2/3 or 3/5 if we have to! & if I do lose anyways then I will pull whatever I can out the air to justify it! Now as far as me being anal that coincides with my aim for perfection. It is bad though... I couldn't even have my baby showers planned for me! I have to have it done my way. I'm really artistic, creative, imaginative, and picky about things that are concurrent with that... so when it comes to crafty things or design or style (or actually quite a lot of things) I have to take over. What's strange is how much I desire and put effort into attaining perfection when at the same time I am so logical and analytical to also see very clearly that perfection is impossible. I have a few things within myself that are on opposite sides of the spectrum that I am equally ardent about despite the fact that they contradict each other. Here's my favorite one: how I am so insecure but can be so cocky. When I walk around minding my own business... most females tend to give me dirty looks with faces all scrunched up like someone just flashed the brightest light possible in their eyes... when on the other side, men sure don't see the same glare... they are so nice to me and do things for me or follow me or do CRAZY THINGS to get my attention. Being treated the way people treat me has led me to believe that I must be something kinda special.... so yes, I smile at all the sour faced bitches and treat guys like they are beneath me since that's where they tend to put themselves by placing me on some type of pedestal. But on that other side of the spectrum, when I look in the mirror I don't see that. I'm not happy with the way I look. I think I'm alright... but I could definitely use some work! I'm not going to go into detail about what I like and don't like.. just know that I'm really really really insecure.. I know that goes along with my obsession for perfection.. It's all mental but it's hard to shake.. Trying to rework the roots of my thought process is tough.. especially if you're as stubborn as I am. Yea I'm stubborn... not sure why either because I'm very open minded. I'm very independent. As much as I'll be there for others I try to set myself up to where I don't need anyone... because of those that have failed me. Its so hard to pick up when someone left you helpless... In order to prevent any of that I assume all responsibility. I'm reliable and that's who I rely on. You want something done right you do it yourself! I'm particular about things... then again theres my spectrum where I get indecisive and have to have my mind made up for me. I never know what I want, but I usually can tell you what I don't want! I'm very sarcastic. If you're "slow" you will never get what I'm talking about cause much of it is just slipped in mid-conversation. I love to laugh and joke around.. since I want to be smiling every damn day of my life if I can help it! But when it comes to making money I got my game face on. There is no bullshitting now. I have 2 babies to take care of- alone. I need to work and I need to support my little family.. and that paycheck to paycheck crap is not going to cut it with me. I can live broke and be happy... but we're living in a material world and I am an incredibly material girl. I also enjoy being different with that... If everyone is buying "seven jeans" I won't. If everyone buys "uggs" I won't. I don't like blending in with everyone. I am a firm believer in being original... and it's not cause I want to stand out and draw attention to myself (like someone told me they thought).. it's because I really just don't want to be like everyone else. If everybody is dressed in black I am going to wear hot pink g.damnit! & if I am wearing black it's only cause I fell in love with the outfit! -i'm tired, so to be continued maybe- its MYspace and I'm going to write as much as I want! ;D

I'm not into meeting guys off myspace! So save time & don't message me

......unless of course they're millionaires..... or that sexy man on my page...

I would love to meet the perfect man for me (or if perhaps I've already met him realize that I have). Most will think.. "Then quit being fucking shallow" right? lol. Yes. tell me something I don't know. But sweeties believe me, if you look at the ones I've cared about the most... you'd be quite surprised cause if you take a poll they're solid 4's on the 10 scale (they were not even average). It was not the looks that captivated me (i got 20/20)... They were just persistent and drew me into them by way of self sacrifice and/or humor. Nowadays it is all looks initially. For almost the past 2 years I've been stay-at-home and didn't go out often so I never got the opportunity to be around someone long enough to get drawn to their personality.. All I could see was on the outside. Obviously looks is not enough. In the end personality makes or breaks the deal and no deal has been made in ages. My first requirement is that I need to be with someone that makes me laugh... that is very important. I don't want to sit next to a big serious lump of boring all day and all night. Second is intellect. I'm pretty smart and am fascinated by anyone who can teach me things and provide perspectives I've never seen. I like being impressed and learning. Third would be strength. Guys tend to be nice and sweet to me and allow themselves to be taken advantage of... thinking that I'm going to fall for that 'sweetness' - nope. not happening. Instead I view them as weak. How do you impress someone by putting yourself beneath them? I would rather have a guy be true to his own opinions and decisions- not have me make choices for him or does what he thinks I'd want him to do. I need to be checked and handled. I have a strong personality that needs to be tamed. I know this. I'm really attracted to that dominance because with me it stands out - being submissive to me throws you into the rest of the flock of sheep that follow me around. I like it when a guy orders me around and tells me what to do- it doesn't happen often so when it does it catches me eye and commands respect from me. I also want someone a little vain. Sounds bad... but that would mean that great hygiene, exercise, and an effort in dressing with style. (lol it's true!) I also like aggressive guys. I don't want no punk. If I'm more aggressive there's a problem. I need someone who can protect me better than I can protect myself. ...and I'm no gold digger... but I want someone with common goals. I want to travel and live in a nice house and get my fly whip and that takes money.. so we need to be on the same page when it comes to the hustle.. I work hard and need someone who works just as hard. Laziness is not an option. I also need someone good with kids... since duh, I have them. Initially I didn't care about the person I'm with to take on a daddy role but my baby wants a man to treat like a daddy since that doesn't exist in his day to day life- he wants one to play with and love- so that needs to be not just accepted but welcomed. -i'll add on later as more thoughts come across-
This may be the story of my life though...

Heroes:

Psst! ;)

Little Miss Marlow...

Status: Single ....(technically)....
Here for: Laughs
Orientation: Asexual
Hometown: "City of Angels" OF COURSE! -Los Angeles (for those that are slow)
Body Type: Soon to be bangin'! ..Very soon...
Ethnicity: highlightInterests("ProfileHeroes");....