Dave > you

I'm that guy. I've got less game than an Atari. I'm the coolest dork you'll ever know. I egomaniacally love who I am, but I vehemently hate what I am. If you suck, I'm an asshole; if you don't, I'm a damn sweetheart. Chances are, if you do suck, you wouldn't like me anyway. Either way, I will make fun of you, and you will probably deserve it (I don't consider myself exempt from this practice). I'm always good for a laugh, whether it be joke, anecdote, or having kicked myself in the face. I drink and I smoke pot, and I do both to excess. If you accost me for either or both, I will happily give you information on volunteering for your community's D.A.R.E. program before kicking you in the ass and saying goodbye.You're not getting any more out of me unless it's on AIM (chiwhitesox2005), or straight from the source (ask me for my cell number; putting it here would be outrageously dumb).