About Me

i am: crystal. i design.

one day i will fall in love. then everything will be ok.

un jour, je tomberai amoureux... et tout sera bien..
i have always just felt different.
i know the power of unconditional love.
i believe in music and fashion as identity - i love the music that gave me a place to belong and i love the fashion that looks like the music i love.
i will succeed, just to prove everyone wrong.
i am a thinker. (i secretly want to be a scholar.)
i care about stuff more then i should.
i want to know the world.
i am not pretty. its ok. i'll get over it one day.
i think the name nathaniel is pretentious at best.
i love writing - it feeds my soul. i will be a writer.
i am hard to get to know, but once you do, i will give you my all.
i will live overseas.
I want to spend my life making beautiful, thoughtful, challenging piecesâ€“ fashion, text, art, photography. Anything that captures me, absorbs my thoughts - inspires.
for two days i wandered a sprawling county town, trying hard not to think of how it would probably be the last of the many happy times i had, while she is still here with me.

knowing that its probably true, it kills me.

My Interests

i like
music. fashion. art. photography. illustration. books. philopsophy.

i like to think. i like to discuss.

I'd like to meet:

the boy who will break my heart.

someone i can really talk to.

my intellectual equal.

kerouac.

rob ryan.

and also

brand new.
interpol.
erte.
william morris.
aubrey beardsley.

Music:

amazing -

death cab for cutie.
the strokes.
joy division.
brand new.
interpol.

...♥

Movies:

i lovelove old cult classics.
especially vincent price movies. coz there are sooo many. and they are crap. and silly. and that makes me laugh. mmm.

i have a penchant for tacky romances. and dendy movies that are way more deep and meaningful then the average person can comprehend rendering them useless and meaningless. even more meaningless then the simpsons movie.
i am pretty sure fast food nation scares me more then most other films.

other greats include control, two days in paris, candy, donnie darko, requiem for a dream, fightclub, little miss sunshine juno and some others i can't think of right now.

Television:

i ♥ abc haha. mostly the chaser. and top model. and project runway. and maybe some other stuff, but not really....

Books:

i ♥ books. reading is sexy. nerd? yeh maybe.
kerouac. chuck palahniuk. amy hempel. victorian novels. gordon lish. salinger. nobakov. post secrets. historical dramas. dystopian texts. satires. social theories. trashy romances.

magazines are love.

Heroes:

i have a hero, who was a antihero and sold himself short.

i have a hero who the best friend i have ever had, yet i still don't understand why she sticks around.

i have a hero who would do anything for me if it was possible.

i have hero who showed me the power of unconditional love.

My Blog

one sentence.

he saw in me, something that most do not. and from that i can't help but feel a connection. that recognition meant more to me then some of the best conversations withthe cleverest and wittiest of peop...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:33:00 PST

drowning

i made the get away that she could not.she stays; drowning herself in him.
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 07:25:00 PST

once

once, i thought i could never forget you, ever. today i look at your picture and somehow see the unfamiliar.and then i realise that i kind of have.
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 05:04:00 PST

he used to

he used to make my mouth go dry, like there was a thousand butterflies escaping from between my lips, their wings powdery and luminescent.
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:52:00 PST

if sentences could save lives

If sentences could save lives, would you be here reading this now? If sentences could save lives, what would you say, what would you need to hear? A statement is all it takes to change a mind...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:45:00 PST

another time

Another time, there was this boy who liked me. A lot. I didn't realise at first. I was enjoying making a really smart, really funny new friend. When I found out I felt the butterflies of conflict over...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:58:00 PST

this one moment

There is this one moment, in New York, that is the first thing that comes to mind when people deliver a tirade of the least original questions they can come up with. What was the highlight? What was y...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:54:00 PST

Polaroids and Autumn Leaves

A Polaroid lays abandoned on a pavement, in a suburban street, half covered with defeated leaves of cold to come. A couple captured in a nonchalant pose, his face, slightly blurred as he laughs at som...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Tue, 06 May 2008 05:31:00 PST

the one who breaks my heart.

Suddenly one day, I realised that he really could be the one who breaks my heart. A wave of fear passed through me, but it didn't stop me from rushing forth and wanting to fall in love with him all th...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Tue, 06 May 2008 06:15:00 PST

Bells will ring.

A wedding party congregates across the street from me, and I feel a little detached from reality, from other people. In a similar sense, they too seem a little removed from reality, their insignifican...
Posted by a horse called fabio. on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:16:00 PST