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About Me

Single, bored, and occasianally rich. I like global warming, wasting paper, wearing animals, and long walks to Denny's on a drunken Friday night. I like reading books that have big letters and lots of pictures, and on a good day will pick up the newspaper and read the funnies. I like elderly people, especially when they shit themselves that shits funny to me. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life, I would sell couch insurance in Northlake and live at the Regal Motel on Mannheim. I had a cat once that got the clap. He was afraid of needles, so he went out kind of like Al Capone. Brave lil guy.

My Interests

Getting drunk by myself, waking up on peoples lawns, dread locks, tattoos, piercings, body modifications, scarrification, brandings, Tales from the Crypt comics, the lives of Rod Serling and Alfred Hitchcock, horror movies, shitty kung fu flicks, thrifting, garage sales, people who are completely clueless and oblivious, porn, lucky strike unfiltered cigarettes, irish whiskey, traveling, beer, retards, playing in the dirt, breaking stuff, DUI's, slot machines. the 50's-60's, snazzy suits, classic cars, puking, binge drinking, cereal, sleeping, laziness, spooning, big fuckin beards, bikers, fat girls, and church goers.

I'd like to meet:

People who won't get offended WHEN I throw up on them.

Music:

Billy Club Sandwich, Gorguts, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, Deftones, Black Flag, Immortal Suffering, Immolation, The Clash, Al Green, Guttermouth, Dismembered Fetus, Suffocation, Macarbe, Broken Hope, Morbid Angel, Brutal Truth, Op Ivy, GWAR, Type O Negative, Bowl of Cereal

Movies:

Dumb and Dumber, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Leaving Las Vegas, Halloween, all the Sleepaway Camps, anything B.

Television:

The Twilight Zone (1959-1964) Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales from the Crypt, OZ, Joe Bob Briggs Drive-in Theatre, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, 12oz Mouse.

Books:

Anything by Kerouac and shit on serial killers.

Heroes:

My fallen Brothers