Kingjonny; Forgiver of Sneeky Farts

Right.....where to begin without makin it a life story? Born in Brumigham....nursary schools hailed me as reet cleva. A good 3 years above the other kids. Primary school inspired me to find the windows rather interesting......the more so the further along schooling we went. Alledgedly I used to run around the play ground at break time trying to bite people ears off!!!!! Yes, I am an eccentric! Was an ace singer too. Got pulled out infront of assembly with 2 girls to demonstrate "excelence" with us singing. Oh how he beamed back then...unbeknownst the foul affliction of bollie bungee!! Anyway....did Beavers n Cubs n Scouts along with school so I can look after me sen should a nuclear holocaust come! Of course that did somewhat limit the amount of contact I had with the opposite sex! Would you beleive it...I was a timid little fella back then! Anyway...secondary school bored the shit out of me. And, seeing as I was growing up in Birmingham, being cleva had a stigma attached to it. Year seven we wz a Boff, then 8 we wz bit of a geek, then a day dreamer (that still got 3rd best results int school! I rule!), then a rebel, then a 15 yr old. Went on to 6th form....was a lazy git...then a lazier git. Still floated through. Got to uni....aHAAA! No mom.....lots of weed, lots of booze, no uni....passed the exams but failed the lab work.....restart next time. Yeah first time round I was meant to be doing 16 hrs a week, I did 16 hrs a semester. Oooops :p Then second run at it, I did 6 hrs a semester....double ooops!!! Lets be honest, education wasn't workin for me...so I spent 18 months being a general lay about barely earning any money and what I did earnm went on weed. Then I decided to become a bus driver.....quit weed cause of the drugs screenin and been a decent memeber of society since! Thats my life...now about me :) I'm slightly odd...no, I'm very strange to some. Specially non metal heads....they can be even rather scared of me sometimes! But I am a very nice and good hearted man. I like to think anyway!!! I love me mates and I love me social life. You'll regularly see us on stage with Andy Crosby and us accolites headbanging like fuckin pro's.....after all, practice makes perfect! I'm told there were headbangers before us on stage, and I remember they had fun...but I'm also told by some of the pit's older crew that they were nowhere near as focused as they are now. It's only been about 18 months since I predominately, but also crosby, comandeered the stage...and since...the stage has become an endless source of entertainment for the rest of the pit! I like to think people may say to eachother "Shall we go in the metal room and watch the fellas air guitarin on stage for a bit?". Errrrm, thats not really told you much about me...but onto the less happy parts......women are EVIL! Well no I know they ain't, but they made me understand very quickly the futile nature of the relationship unless it's got an aim by shitting all over me. Twice. Rather jaded is this young man I might say! And as a result, I don't bother gettin involved or chasin' a girl that I'm not plannin on keepin. Sayin that...if I chase you for a relationship....you really must be summit special! Cause I'm a cocky twat! Yes thats right, I'm about as cocky as twats come. Taj from Nightwish, whatsherchops from Within Temptation, and some other female fronted metal band....they all want my babies!!!!! I am jokin of course...but if you ever meet me I'm sure I'll come accross just that cocky. However, I'm not arrogant. Tell me a fault and I'll diagnose it..I'll try n fix it. And most important of all, I have time for everyone. Everyone is my mate, unless they piss me off. They're not all my friends obviously! But treat others how you would be treated...and for that, I like to think I'm liked. Oh yeah, I do also talk about ME!!! quite often! But to be honest I've an excuse! I spend all day in my own company, so who else have I got to talk about!!! You might find that I refer to my self instead of I, but as we. Thats the royal we, but bassically there are two sides to me. Kingjonny, and Jon. One is the ballsey 'sif I give a shit' lad, and the other is the intelligent caring man. Both are combined in one, though when you see me being a bit looney, it's prob more of a kingjonny bit! Anyway, hope your not too scared of me by now! I'll finish by sayin I've a fuckin shite memory! Canny remember 99% of us childhood, teen years or uni years. Bassically I have trouble remembering what I did last summer....oh no....THEY'RE ALL DEAD! HAHAHAA! I'm a weirdo! Peace mutters and I'll expect to see you all down the pit some time soon!

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