Jaysenn Grand

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I used Dave & Jay's amazing myspace profile editor . Found again after 25+ years. Four guys with a lot of water under the bridge and the current getting stronger. Good, bad, dead and indifferent the boys live and learn and keep breathing and then rediscover playing again with the same guys who did it all before. It's only rock and roll. If you know that much, you have it by the ass. So what will happen? Will Preacher blow his brains out somewhere on the lost highway? Will Corndoggie find something that actually makes him happy for more than 90 days and keep it? Will Le'Cockaroo wind up getting shot by an irate mistress, or husband? And will Rico eventually just Super Nova into mist as he makes 5 dates on the same day try and go away? Well now, we will just have to stay tuned won't we?..
A report from our Jaysenn Grand field reporter V. Hargrove Titwhistle.
FIRST REPORTED 9-30-03
From the "Didn't Jagger do it like this?" files.
The band, which has been secretly rehearsing for years, is in the final stages of putting on the finishing touches on new, original material and a few updated version of old songs. With timing everything in the music and entertainment world the release of this album will coincide with the 25th anniversary of the bands 25th anniversary reunion tour. This will be before the bands 59th live show. A spokesman for the group, Carmine Babbaganoosh, says the album will be released on JUNE 31st , 2029. A site has yet to be selected but you can be sure it will be up to the bands usual high standards and will hopefully reach a worldwide audience. The album, tentatively titled "Runn'er Till She Blows" will include new material and updated version of such hits as "Hotter than Synthesizer" .
After word leaked out that the band was reforming it was noted that the prices for stocks for Squibb, Ely Libby and Merc skyrocketed but returned to their previous levels after it was announced all members of the band were married or in serious relationships. The bands original roadies, Ivan E. Rection and his twin sister Norma Z. Rection will not be touring with the band due to family conflicts.
During the layoff of 25 years it would be nice to review what the band members have been doing with their lives. This is just a sampling and more on the boy..s comings and going will appear in future updates.
CORNDOGGIE CON CARNE; Laboring as a door to door bird seed salesman for 3 years then turned his talents to making Home Brew Beer under the labels "Concrete Pillow" " Duke 'O Duff" "Erin Go Blind" and his favorite, "What the Hell is in This?!?". After 2 years, many explosions and 14 yeast infections he gave up on his dream of becoming the small brew king of Central Pennsylvania. Later attempts at opening an auto parts empire went south when his suppliers were deported. C.D. lost a fortune years before after investing heavily in 8 track tape player and Beta video systems stocks, so it came as no surprise that this venture would go south as well. An investment in hand held big screen plasma TV's also did not pan out as planned.
JOHNNIE LE'COCKAROO PARIS; Ah yes, Johnnie..What a life he has led and where do we start! Courts around the nation have wrestled with what to seal and what to issue to the public record...Needless to say, we will not invite a lawsuit by the high powered attorneys who to this very day spare no cost in litigating the very complicated and at times acrimonious acrimony that remains unsettled and at times litigious...My attorney has advised me to state nothing more...... After the first band broke up Johnnie went on the road with Box Car Willie as a back-up singer / whistler / bass player / song writer / roadie / bouncer / hair stylist / groupie CDC liason / accountant / driver / agent /. After touring with BCW a few years he retreated into self imposed exile, suffering from acute exhaustion / fatigue / confusion / tan / on an emu ranch somewhere in the Midwest. Intense therapy from world renowned Dr Slappy has helped him regain his composure and continued bass fishing relaxes him. Johnnie also invested heavily in a short-lived dream of perfecting propane powered sewing machines and propane powered televisions.
PREACHER GIBBONS MESCALERO; Worked with over privileged, well to do children in Philadelphia teaching the children how to deal with the gruelling lives of the upper class. Taking time out of his own lifes work, he would take these kids to the ghettos, barrios,slums and other seedy areas of cities to show them what the truly down trodden were living like and how to ignore them. He himself had come from a world in which he was told "You too white for black folk and too black for white folk and you ain't Rican either", and suffered many confrontations in his young life. His work won him many awards from the Rockefeller Foundation and a few Forbes 500 companies. His articles have received much acclaim, no money, and one book, "Not of You or You Either", was a truely introspective work. Another novelette titled "Yo,Lemme Hold a Quarter" went nowhere.
RICO COMANCHERO CABALLERO; With his dreams of touring world wide dashed he turned his energy to making it in the private sector. First was a brief time as owner, president and CEO of "Rico..s Pizza On a Stick" whose initial product was blacklisted by PETT, a NeoNazi envirogroup who decried the use of wooden sticks in the product. Stores were targeted and subsequently fire bombed on the west coast. Insurance costs were the final straw, as yet another envirogroup PETPN boycotted and threatened violence over paper napkin useage. Wandering the country in shock, he decided to seek his fortunes overseas and ended up desitute in Scotland after a failed attempt to market "Haggis on a Stick". Subsuquent attempts in Norway of marketing "Cod Popsicles" fell short of success. Next was a 2 year stint as a rodeo clown with the Hungarian/Albanian National Rodeo. This was during the cold war period and since they toured only eastern block countries the rodeo folded after 8 months. Due to a severe meat shortage in these countries the bulls and horses ended up as dinner rather than entertainment.
HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS.V HARGROVE TITWHISTLE HERE WITH SOME MORE DETAILS FOR WHICH I HAD TO PAY FAR TOO MUCH FOR. BUT, WHY AM I HERE? WELL? THIS KEEPS UP, I MAY JUST START KNOCKING OFF BANKS AND HOPE I GET CAUGHT. FREE ROOM AND BOARD YOU KNOW. I KID,NO? ANYWAY... THAT GIRL IN BLACK IN THE BACK AT THE PEPPERMINT.....MY GOD.....AND THE OTHER ONE....PEOPLE ARGUE OVER INTELLIGENT DESIGN? THAT, MY FRIEND IS PROOF TO THIS BOY THERE IS A GOD. END OF ARGUEMENT. DID I SAY......WHERE WAS I? OH, THAT'S RIGHT....LET ME CHECK MY MIRRORS...UHH......UPDATES ON OUR BOYS SHADOWY PAST. THIS IS CONFIDENTIAL TO SAY THE LEAST...THAT'S WHY I KEEP ONE STEP IN FRONT OF OUR BOYS. YES, I LOOK AT CORVETTES TOO, BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME RIDING ONE OF THEM AROUND TOWN, DO YA?!? HERE'S THE SKINNY....
An update from V. Hargrove Titwhistle. 6/06/05
www.jaysenngrand.blogspot.com
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As an ongoing service to all of the worldwide fans of Jaysenn Grand another addition to the continuing saga that now has everyone reading. Forget Desperate Housewives, don’t even think of Shakespeare, the Rosetta Stone is history, Better Homes and Garden cookbook, Ha!! I’ve got the good stuff!!...Gotta go! Gotta GPS my ass OUTTA HERE!!
JOHNNIE LE'COCKAROO PARIS: Adding to the legend that is, was and remains to be Johnnie Paris.. after his stint with BCW, (see storyline) he went on to 2 years of fame in the mid 80’s becoming the head joke writer for Pope John the 23rd, he got the job after a laugh filled 4 hour interview with his eminence that included drinking 2 gallons of communion wine, driving the Popemobile into the fountains in St. Peter’s square and showing the Pope how to do upside down flaming shots of Maguey Mescal at an Italian speakeasy. Life was sweet, then after being taken away by his security screaming " Il mio cervello è sul fuoco !!", the Pope was not seen for a while. What was rumored to be a private vacation for the Pope at an undisclosed location was in reality a two week stay at the Betty Ford Clinic to help the Pope dry out and regain his equilibrium after what has become know around the Vatican as the “That F-N Johnnie P. INCIDENT”. Mr Paris was descretely paid to never speak again of anything remotely placing him in Rome. A brief stay on the way back in La Corruna Spain led to one irate woman demanding she be granted US citizenship. Photos were supposedly burned along with negatives.
CORNDOGGIE CON CARNE: What a man and what a life it has been. After his doing what ever he started to do before he finished what he was just about to complete in the middle of his second run with the now defunct “Ishcabibble Boys Choir and Dance Group”, the Corndoggie was appointed producer and director of the “Rug”. This was a little known play written by Corndoggie and the late, great Twilla R. Micemeat. Underappeciated while living, Twilla froze to death, penniless and destitute, waiting for the bus that never came, outside an abandoned bus stop in Centralia Pa. The play was about a one armed paper hanger who inherited the paper hanging business, along with a 6 speed, manual shift storage/delivery truck and a blind, three legged pet dog, from his late uncle. The play failed to gain any backers and never opened due to lack of financing, no theater space, no costumes, lighting, scenery, backdrops, musical score, actors, uh... you get the picture. He later starred in the short lived but highly acclaimed off Broadway play about an Indian from the great northwest territories tribe, “He Who Sleeps With Beavers”. After his stint as an off Broadway actor became less lucrative, he hired on as a part time bus driver for home schooled children to augment his income. Ongoing trade in the effects and amplificational modes of translating sounds into tones and tones into sounds and all things complicated beyond the hearing capabilities of dogs, led to stability in financial endevours.
PREACHER GIBBONS MESCALERO: There can be no other man in the history of Rock & Roll who has done more for his craft than “The Preacher”. He got his name “The Preacher”when in 1981 he took over the 2nd Evangelical Bible Baptist Church of Our Sacred Broken Hearts of the Brooding Sisters of the Unheated Rectory, located in Washtub West Virginia. He started the first choir in the churches existence, “The GapTooth Gospel Singers”. From the beginning they knew they had something special what with 3 members of the congregation joining right away. What with all of their snappy renditions of such backwoods gospel favorites as “My Jesus Ain't Mexican”,"Going Blind, My God, I'm Blind" (Bad Shine), "Brakes Ain't Gonna Stop This Ride”, "Twelve Will Get You Fifteen" and the always popular “One Hand on the Bible, (One On the Electric Fence)I Saw The Light”, the preacher and his “flock” held their own at every gospel singalong/howdown/hootenanny/barndance/barnburner/still blessing/barroom throwdown they played. State Police and local Sheriff Depts often escorted the ensemble to and from venues to ensure their's and the publics safety. One number that received airplay before the FTC banned it was the foot stomping country crossover backwoods ballad "Out in the Woods (It's Hard to Find a Lover) So I Married My Sister ( Now We Got a Baby Brother").
RICO COMANCHERO CABALLERO: One name. One thought. FUN!!!!! This guy has it all of the time, every time, lawsuits be damned! While playing with “Guy Singer and his All Nurse Band” in the late 80’s he toured relentlessly playing as many as 2 days/nights a week. But the “nurses” in the band were harder on him than the touring and playing and the all important orders of Dr Menthol Mint McGillicudy. Although he was in great health and always had a spot in the “exam” room for any of the female band members his time with this globe trotting group was short lived due to reasons still not brought to light. Lawsuits brought to bear from cancelled shows caused great financial and mentral stress. Litigation continues to this day. There was a fire in one major Gulf Coast Mississippi hotel they were lodged in, and the talk was that negatives being disposed of set the entire bottom floor ablase. There was something about a witness relocation program mentioned during the interview/resume/interogation, along with mention of interstate flight to avoid confinment charges pending. Attorny Sarah Bellum ESQ/PHD shed some light on the ongoing uncertainties by stating, "What the hell are you talking about?". Some of the "Nurse's" ID's also seemed to be slightly suspect in retrospect. He also worked part time with a chemical company who patented fruit flavored lead base paints for specific use in day care centers and kindergarten home rooms.