You Are 74% Evil
You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.
How Evil Are You?
Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"
You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)
Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic
What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays
Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get
What Does Your Candy Heart Say?I like bartending, creating salvage art, dumpster diving (to retrieve resources to create salvage art, also, for any other cool shit people throw out, usually when they move...books, cds, furniture capable of restoration, basically, dumpster diving is like going to a flea market, thrift or antique store, only every day is a 'clearance-blowout, everything must go, if you can hual it away, it's yours free' sale.), coffeeshops, music(too wide a spectrum to get into), yoga(although, truthfully, my interest in yoga has been waning), observation of natural reaction and response, charity or fundraising that results in direct and relevant local community good, finding new and interesting ways to surprise, shock, amaze, or impress customers at work( I am all about the floor show)making it my personal responsibility to non-obtrusively and unoffensibly teach all who do not yet understand the basic meaning and structure of "HUMAN SERVICE WAGES!!!!" (basically, when you are an adult, you interact with people whose job in the workforce is to provide you with a service that your mother once provided you with. If the majority of physical labor, or the most time of their job is spent providing you that service, as opposed to providing their employer a service, or, ..if the job(nursing, doctors, whatever) didn't require 4+ years at college, you have to tip that person. Yes, it is their job to serve you your food, make and serve you your drink, bring you your pizza, drive you somewhere, clean your room for you, carry your boxes or luggage somewhere, clean up the bathroom you use, whatever their task, yes, it is their responsibility and duty to see the task is done...However, TIPPING IS NOT AN ADDITION TO THEIR WAGE, IT IS THE MAJORITY OF THEIR WAGE!!!! employers pay waitresses only to sell the food and for the prep and cleaning work they do for the restaraunt, the wage is about 2.95-4.25 an hour, the person dining is financially responsible for the wages involved in bringing and serving the food and taking care of the meal. Bartenders are paid by the bar for prep, clean-up,(sometimes bussing, dishes and light security) and selling the liquor they provide at about 3.50-4.95 an hour, the person who orders is financially responsible for paying the wages of mixing and serving the drink...All service jobs work this way....ALL ARE PAID BELOW MINIMUM WAGE BY THE EMPLOYER. However, the government doesn't tax the service industry only for wages the employer pays, on the records and books, this would break labor industry laws. The 2.95/hr and the employees tips are combined to form their taxable wages. when service workers declare tips to the government, their sales are recorded as well. THEY ARE LAWFULLY REQUIRED TO DECLARE 10% OF THEIR RECORDED SALES AS TIPS RECEIVED. The taxes come out of the wages the employer pays them. Some service employees receive a paycheck of no more than $30-$40 every two weeks. Often, the company paycheck received by employees consists of a paystub showing taxes deducted, and a zeroed out paycheck. if the taxes are consistently more than the paycheck can cover, these employees will have to pay in sizable amounts in april. Ok, so, broken down into a practical setting(the bar, cause its familiar....) this can be revealed:Lets say your bill is 50 dollars at the bar. the bartender cashes you out and brings you the change. the IRS records the sale as soon as it is cashed out on the register. Once a sale is recorded, the bartender is required, by law to declare that a tip of 10% was received. So, basically, If you stiff the bartender, they still have to claim a $5 tip was received, and they still have to to pay the taxes on that tip, at 23%, about $1.15 is deducted from their paycheck. So, you aren't just not tipping/paying the bartender, but, in all honesty, WHEN YOU STIFF A BARTENDER(OR ANYONE IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY), IT ISN'T NUETRAL, THEY AREN'T BREAKING EVEN,iNSTEAD OF EARNING MONEY FOR THE WORK THEY JUST DID, THEY PAID OR LOST MONEY TO WAIT ON YOU, THEY HAVE TO PAY THE TAXES ON THE TIP EITHER WAY. The person would have made more money by not waiting on you.
Any persons still believing tipping is gift, and not a wage, pay attention to that 23%...if a bartender makes lets say 4.25 an hour, after taxes, it's $3.27/hr. If they average $300 in sales per hour, they have an additional $6.90/hr DEDUCTED from their paycheck. So, basically, If you dont consider tips part of the service industries normal pay, you must find it completely acceptable, legal and fair for a huge part of the American workforce, to pay a fee of AT LEAST$3.63/hr for their job, without getting paid at all...???...isn't that kinda a step below servitude?yeah---guess i kinda went off on a tangent on that one too....
I'd like to meet:
adopt your own virtual pet!real people, with real, original opinions or ideas
Music:
dead milkmen,the beatles, stevie wonder, the toasters, dar williams, mary prankster, phish, g-love and special sauce, jack johnson, they might be giants, bloodhound gang, beastie boys,leonard cohen,the doors, three dog night,CCR, chuck berry,Led Zepelin,Jerry lee lewis, bitch and animal, hedwig, propagandhi, nofx, cake, barenaked ladies, the cramps, dead kennedys, kristen hersh, violent femmes, counting crows, roy orbison, Gg allin, johnny cash, amy ray (solo), ani difranco, funk, some disco, the killers, four bitchin' babes, christine lavin, pixies, cowboy junkies,mazzy star,primus, simon and garfunkel,paul simon, most trench coat wearin weepy boy 80's shit, bizarre 80's shit, like soft cell's 'sex dwarf', butthole surfers, reverand horton heat, jamariquai, bad polka when played on jukeboxes in bars at just the wrong time, some circle jerks/black flag type shit.....anything off the repo man soundtrack, surf rock, numerous bands on many a mixed/burned cd that were created without and exist without liner notesguilty musical pleasures I wish I could deny enjoying: bad 80's...like culture club bad 80's, but NOT tiffany bad 80's.....prince...I think I love really bad prince best...yeah, I think it was the first, artist formerly blah blah cd, the purple one with 'sexy mother fucker' on it...yeah, i think i know every word to that cd. Liking elvis isnt so much a guilty pleasure, but much like prince, the extent of my audience participation...ok, lip synching/dancing around with it cranked up when no one else is around is kind of a guilty pleasure. billy joel, ok, as a human being he bothers me, but, i like some of his music....a lot of old musicals.....cabaret, gypsy, oklahoma, guys and dolls, sound of music,my fair lady, thats all i can think of off the top of my head....I like a lot of more recent, or recently popular ones also, chorus line, chicago, moulin rouge, jesus christ superstar..(the indigo girls and a bunch of Ga. artists did a revival remake/release of the soundtrack to raise money for gun control...i think it was like 6-7 years ago, i was all into the indigo girls and had to buy it, it was really bad but good...I think it flopped though, cause after a short time, it disappeared...the title was great though....'Jesus Christ Superstar: A Resurrection'), hair, hedwig and the angry inch, alice's restaurant.....
ok, although I refuse to listen to the radio, or watch videos, my job forces me to occasionally hear modern pop crap...but the funniest part is, as far as music goes, aside from what I hear at the bar, I really am pretty much totally out of touch with the cookie cut-out pop-culture shit....and oddly enough, I found that without the stigma of pop-culture hovering above it, I actually like some of that crap. ... i mean, I usually feel tricked when I hear a song five times, and I start to dig it, only to find out the artist is someone I either openly don't respect/despise, or have been totally railing on through their entire mass-marketed career....ok..so...I'm still pissed about the kelly clarkson/since you've been gone thing. I dont know, when they first started playing it at the club, that was the only place I heard it, like once on a saturday night, maybe friday also...I mean, i didnt think it was the most amazing original profound thing ever, but, I mean, the lyrics/tone/power/energy of the song were perfect. I mean really, If you look out on the dancefloor when the song is on, you can literally instantly spot every single person who at some point in their life, ended an oppressive relationship, and shortly after felt sudden revelation and blood boiling rush of empowerment that comes with realizing responsibility and ownership of true personal freedom....yeah, if sang about it, id be kinda in your face shouty and probably hopping up and down...I dont know, it just fit the subject matter....Im pretty much over it now though....I have to hear it twice friday and saturday, and whenever i go out to eat, in a taxi and blah blah...good song....but, beat into the ground, proving pop is still evil to me,.
Movies:
chaplin and keaton films,lots of musicals, specifically, auntia mame, chorus line, oklahoma, hair....new found appreciation for disney flix, princess bride, napoleon dynomite, spun, royal tenebuams, any john waters, although, I was least impressed by 'dirty shame', hedwig and the angry inch, pretty much all tim burton, including, in fact, almost especially big fish, drop dead gorgeous, mighty wind, guffman, and best in show were good too....um, i havent seen a parker posey movie I didnt like, especially liked house of yes...that was some fucked up shit, I like shit like old psas, old commercial compilations, the whole, reefer madness/cocaine fiends thing, empire records, eye of the beholder, most ewan mcgregor stuff is entertaining, i keep thinking I should see the pillowbook again, i was distracted reading the subtitles to a friend through much of it, scotland,pa was good, fight club of course, natural born killers, fear and loathing, wild in the streets, celestial clockwork.....plenty more...I find a way to accept the relevance or rationalize positive aspects of pretty much every movie I see, even if I dont like the movie, and i refuse to not finish a movie once I have started it. there are some movies that have affected me even though I hated them, and have banished them from ever returning to my home.....Monster...It affected me, it made me deal with the fact that I have otherwise completely untapped emotions and reactions that give me a capacity to rationalize things I would otherwise not accept as logical, natural, or even comprehensible. It made me feel, or know a combination of equal and extreme emotions and feelings....It's cool that i know these things exist in me, but, I dont need to ever know that or learn that again......ever.....only one movie that i can remember has ever made me resent it's entire existence, and inspired me to seek immediate and extreme vengeance for my energy and time. The second the end credits of "GUMMO" started, I very calmy, but very determined, and ragefully lock muscled, stood up of the futon, walked to the vcr, ejected the tape, only four hours ownedgrabbed it by the two sides, and proceeded to slam it over and over onto the sharp corner of the entertainment stand until it broke into wee pieces, I then walked it over to the garbage can and threw it, and silently returned to the futon......the cat and the girlfriend were both bugged eyed amazed, and understanding.
Television:
i'm sort of anti-TV, but, i figure one day, it'll be 100% al a carte.so, I like, that 70's show, the simpsons, aqua teen, and all 5 discovery channels, that kind of programming...
Books:
any tom robbins, kurt vonnegut, or john irving....wicked, auntie mame...I like most books..
Heroes:
I don't know that i think in these terms.....
