Alejandro profile picture

Alejandro

Trying is the first step to failure. - Homer

About Me

I usually start my day by wondering where I am and how did I get there. I immediately take 800mg of Motrin and chug a liter of water to cure my usual morning hangover. I'll scratch a bit, dry shave my face, brush my teeth, and throw on my uniform. I then call my mom because I have 14 missed calls from her and tell not to fucking call me anymore...ever. Then I go to work and save the world from terror.I like to kills things and destroy inanimate objects. Sometimes I like to destroy animate options. One time I shot an inanimate object with the M2 .50 caliber machine gun and made it very animate. Don't worry...I understand that .50 caliber bullets are expensive, but I don't pay for them.I like to eat things. I like hot wings, cheeseburgers, steaks, hot dogs, pizza, and Civet de Lapin with a nice glass of Chateau Montelena. I like beer...all beer, but you ain't going to catch me drinking no pussy light beer. Light beer is for dogs and donkeys.
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My Interests

I like to kill things: mostly terrorists and hippies. Whichever is legal at the time. Another thing that interest me is my ability to drink until I pass out and still wake up wanting to drink again. I mostly drink Tequila and Whiskey. I tried to drink coconut rum one time, but my stomach hurt with it's gayness. I don't like light beer...no matter how it's spelled.

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet Premier Warlord George W. Bush very much. Thanks to him and his campaign of sustaining the war machine, I now have a well paying job for at least another decade. As long as we can keep the wars going, I can afford a pretty nice lifestyle. So let's vote to make him our dictator and fuck this stupid democracy bullshit. I want to retire in the next 12 years so give me war. I would also like to meet Senator Obama. I bet he knows where Osama Bin Laden is.

Music:

I like things that rock. Rap is gay. I like Fu Manchu, Clutch, Rob Zombie, Melvins.

Movies:

Full Metal Jacket, Jarhead, Patton, Papillon, Seven, Boondock Saints, Pirates (porno), and The Lion King.

Television:

Future Weapons, Shootout, Mail Call, Histories Battles, Hi 5, and The O'Reilly Factor.

Books:

Culture Warrior, Fight Club, Survivor, and Invisible Monsters.

Heroes:

Chesty Puller, Dan Daly, Spiderman.