I was dropped on my head as a child. Seriously. A lot of shifty people use this as a lame, ha-ha excuse to pardon a faux pas - and I do too. But in my case it's true. Once you get to know me, there comes a critical juncture where I say something interesting ("I just discovered something new I can do with my elbows!"). You nod and smile, then you look at my head and think, "Yep."This happened back in Greece, New York, at a time when someone who hated children decided to build public parks on cold, hard gravel. I was three, my brother Tim was five, and there was a slide. We already slid a couple times when my mom noticed my tendency to tumble off the end in a pile. She decided to spot me at the bottom and put Tim in charge of watching my ascension at the bottom of the ladder.So I climbed to the top, I fell backwards, and my brother moved out of the way as I hit the gravel, skull first. I don't blame my brother for this. If I saw someone I knew who was about two-thirds my size falling out of a second-story building right towards me, yeah, I would move. Tim is still kind of touchy about this, so I try to bring it up only in private conversations and blogs.After I failed to spring back up, my mom carefully scooped me up and sped us to the hospital. She was in a state of terror, not helped by my brother, who sighed in the back seat, saying, "Thanks Mom. He was my favorite brother and now he's dead."I had fractured my skull. It's the only bone I know of that I've broken. I slept almost continually for a month, waking up for maybe an hour or two a day. And after that I had a cool story. I was one of the few kids in first grade who could say, "I fractured my skull!" with pride. And it hasn't stopped.10 years old: "I just found the Potty Scottie Garbage Pail Kid card!" "Oh yeah? when I was a kid, I fractured my skull!"16 years old: "Um, thanks, but I think I might be going to homecoming with-" "You know, I fractured my skull when I was a kid..." "Oh, really? Um... Well, yeah, I guess I'll go with you."23 years old: "...So that's how I fractured my skull!" "You're charming! You've got the job!"And here we are today. Welcome to my site.
