On December 11, 1999 my grandfather died.
The same day, one year before a very good friend of mine
was killed in a tragic car accident.
HIS NAME WAS LYNN STRAIT.
His dog, band mascot and best friend "Dobbs"
was with him at the time and he too passed away.
I have decided to create this page as a formal dedication to Lynn
because a few weeks back I too was in a serious car accident
and nearly lost my arm, not to mention life.
It got me thinking.
One of the people I thought about was Lynn.
I remember speaking with him on the phone
the evening before he died having no idea
that would be the last time we would ever speak.Recently I got an email from his friend,
brother and former bandmate Mike Doling.
He also called me out of the blue a couple weeks after my accident
when he heard the news.
Back in the day, Mike and I were friends
and we always had a great laugh when our then bands
"SNOT & MANHOLE"
played shows together and we all hung together often.
When Lynn died I was in a state of shock,
much like everyone was at the time.
My heart ached and I felt very empty
at the loss of a beautiful person and a truly gifted musician.
The rock world mourned heavy.
In the world of rock, which is filled and flooded with imitators,
Lynn was an originator.
He was one of a kind.
There has never been and will never be another frontman like him.I spoke with his mother Marie Anne Strait the night I found out
and we cried hard over the phone together.
Sadly I was unable to attend his funeral
in his hometown of Santa Barbara, California
on Wednesday, December 16th
because I was in London at the time.
I was recording my first MY RUIN album "Speak & Destroy".
Although I couldn't help it, missing his funeral
and not being there with his friends and family
was something I have lived to regret to this day.In 1999 I decided to record a live cover of the SNOT song "STOOPID".
I could barely get through it and my voice cracked
in the beginning when I did the scream.
I left it on the track because I felt it brought a realness to it
and I dedicated the track at the end to the man who originally sung it.
The song was recorded at Stanbridge Studios in England
and Marcelo Palomino
(my former drummer from MANHOLE and friend of Lynn)
was a part of that recording.
He also played it live with me
as I embarked on my first tour of the UK with a hired band
at the time and the first incarnation of MY RUIN.
I had not met Mick Murphy yet.
Our first show was the Reading Festival
and we continued to play it throughout the tour
which we called "The Beautiful Pain Tour".
Singing Lynns words to the music written by his friends and bandmembers
was pretty intense to say the least but I felt I needed to do something,
say something and scream something for him.
My label wanted to release a single
with a track that was not on the album
so I suggested doing a cover from one of my favorite bands.
During that time I was always listening to the album "GET SOME"
and "STOOPID" was always my favorite track.
Knowing this back in the day,
Lynn would always dedicate it to me on stage
whenever we played shows together.
When I met Mick and MY RUIN became a real band
no longer hired guns,
and the first show we played together
was at The Troubadour in Los Angeles.
Mick played the song with me that night.
That was the last time I ever played it live.
I remember people in the crowd going fucking crazy
and screaming his name very loudly.
I felt very proud knowing Lynn was watching me scream his words
in one of his favorite venues.In 2000 when it was time to record the second MY RUIN album,
I wanted to do something original for Lynn
something of my own
because he was important to me.
I needed to say how I had been feeling about his death
and recording my own song in his honor was the only way I knew how.I want to say this now because it's important that it's said.
I was left off the "STRAIT UP" tribute album
which Mike Doling put together for Lynn
and I held a grudge for a very long time because of that.
I felt certain people should not have been asked
to be a part of that album for many reasons.
Some very obvious.
Although I have tried to listen to the recordings
with an open mind and open heart, I just can't.
Over the years people have asked me about it
in interviews as well as fans of my band.
It has always made me very uncomfortable
when people ask me why I was not on it.
To be honest, I really have no idea
but I know it was about the politics of the situation
and big names being involved.
Which when I think about it
was exactly what Lynn was not about.
I have to admit that I am glad Mike did something
to remember his friend in such a huge way
because it introduced Lynn to many new people
who might not have known about SNOT otherwise.
As time passed, I was finally able to tell Mike how it made me feel
to had not been a part of that album
and I have let it go and no longer hold that hurt in my heart.
I said what I needed to say to Lynn
in my own song and on my own album.
Which was really what it was all about for me.
As I always say, everything happens for a reason.The song "ROCKSTAR" was written about Lynn
after seeing the word written on his tombstone
when I finally had the courage to visit his grave
with my good friends Marcelo & Teresa Palomino.
On that day, his mother Marie Anne Strait
gave me some beautiful photos
and we talked about him with vivid stories.
She shared words which he spoke to her about our friendship
and told me things I never knew.
His mother meant the world to him
and her letting me know I had her blessing
to do a song about her son
meant the world to me."ROCKSTAR"
was the last song I recorded on our album
"A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish".
It was also the most difficult.
It has one of the longest screams
I have ever done on record or live within in it
but my favorite thing about the song is the intro
which was taken from a show my former band MANHOLE
played with SNOT one night at The Roxy in Hollywood.
I happened to have a video of show in my collection
and when Lynn came on stage to sing with us
he turned to the crowd and said what you hear as the intro to the song.
I had to sample it. How could I not have put that in?
It was too perfect and so fucking rad of him to say.
But that was Lynn and he always gave his friends love and props.
It's who he was.On the last night of mixing our album
at Grandmaster Studios in Hollywood,
we had a listening party.
His mother came and she brought me a photo of Lynn
she had framed for the occasion
and she listened to "ROCKSTAR" for the first time with me.
Today that same photo hangs in my office
IN LOVING MEMORY.
In 2000 MY RUIN were on tour in the UK
and on the last night we played a show at
The Highbury Garage in London.
Lynns former bandmates and friends
Sonny Mayo & Shannon Larkin were in town
with their band AMEN at the time.
They came to the show having no idea we
were about to do a song about Lynn.
It was a very memorable evening for all.
I brought Sonny on stage and introduced "ROCKSTAR"
for the first time to our English fans
and was a very emotional moment for everyone.
I explained the meaning of the song to the crowd
and to Sonny as Shannon watched from the side of the stage.
As soon as the music started,
Sonny did a stage dive into the crowd and the place went wild.
He later said it was an incredible rush
and he knew Lynn was with us.
The most amazing part of performing "ROCKSTAR"
that night was that although Snot never toured in the UK,
they had so many fans who loved their music
and felt the loss of a true artist and band when Lynn died.
That's what music does to people.
It brings us together and touches everyone.
It was pretty awesome knowing his boys were with me on that special night.But I digress to this night.
The eve of the anniversary of Lynns death.
I sometimes cannot believe it's been that long.
People have kept his light burning bright in their hearts for a long time now
and they will continue to just as I will.
The first time I met Lynn was in Santa Barbara
when he put together a show
and asked MANHOLE to play with him and his boys.
He was very cocky, charming and sure of himself
which is why I never understood
why he would later go on to tattoo the word
"INSECURE" on his stomach.
Which just goes to show,
There are always things we don't know.Lynn & I became good friends very quickly
and big supporters of each others bands.
We had a mutual understanding
of each others art, lives and lyrics.
Lynn gave me many gifts over the years
but the one I cherish the most
came in the form of a last rites cross
which was a house warming present
and has been with me for many years now.
He told me, when the time was right and I felt safe,
I needed to burn it and say the prayer inside
in honor of my past life and leaving it behind.
I had been in a very abusive 6 year relationship
which had finally come to an end.
We burned the candles and said the prayer together
in my new place after a show one night
when our bands played one evening in Hollywood.
After that, I hung it on the wall and left it there
untouched until the night Lynn died.
That night, I opened it up and did the ritual again
and this time, said a prayer for him.The night before his death in 1999,
I took the cross of the wall,
thinking the next day I would do the same
as it was now to become a tradition for me.
That next day however, my life took another change.
Someone else close to me died.
So instead, I lit the candle and said the prayer
for both Lynn and my grandfather.
I couldn't believe they had both died
on the same day, only a year apart.
What were the odds?
I have so many stories about my friendship with Lynn
and his effect on me as a vocalist.
He was an inspiration and I learned a lot watching him perform.
So with that in mind, let me really rewind....Besides "STOOPID & ROCKSTAR"
I have uploaded two other very special songs
on the player of this page.
The first, "DOWN" was recorded with Ross Robinson
at Indigo Ranch Studios in Malibu, California.
Lynn co-wrote it lyrically with me
and we sang it together on the album
"ALL IS NOT WELL" released in 1996.
We performed this song together many times live
and it was always great fun for all of us.The other is a song I recorded with SNOT.
Not many people know about this track
or know that i'm the girl singing with him if they do.
That song is called "LOSE".
I first recorded it with SNOT for their demo in 95 I believe.
I re-recorded it with them again in 1996
when I was on tour with MANHOLE in the states.
We had a couple days off and we were in Massachusetts
so we visited SNOT
while they were recording their debut album
at Longview Farm Studios.
I resang my part of the song "LOSE"
and we hung with our friends and had a great time.
Sadly, the song did not make the album
(which happens sometimes)
and I remember Lynn telling me
how bummed he was about that afterwards.
We had a great time recording it together anyway
and that's what i'll remember.Those of you who were friends and fans
of Lynn Strait the man and his voice
will understand why I made this page.
For those of you who have never heard his music
I suggest you find a copy of his first,
last and only album with his band SNOT.
It will become one of your favorites
as it is timeless just as it should be.Lynn was a true artist in every sense of the word.
He went through a hell of a lot in his short time here on earth.
I admired him as a vocalist
and he always made me laugh because he was so funny.
Lynn had suffered from Tourettes Syndrome
which affects the nervous system
but it had only been diagnosed pretty resent to his death I believe.
When I found out that he had this,
it explained a lot about the way he performed.
In my opinion, his having Tourettes
wasn't a disability to him as an artist,
it helped make his singing and screams so unique and his alone.
I remember him telling me about his affliction
and instead of making it an issue...he grew strength from it.
He even laughed and joked about it.
He was probably suffering pretty badly inside
the whole time but who would have known?I will always remember Lynn for his tremendous energy,
cool stage presence, incredible voice,
feverish enthusiasm, honest lyrics
and generous heart.
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives"
~William Wallace~
Lynn LIVED.
HARD, FAST and LOUD.
Just like his music.
Although those who knew him
will always remember him
in their own personal ways,
depending on their relationship with him.
I will always remember him
as one hell of a FRONTMAN and FRIEND.
~The End~
Tairrie B
~December 2006~
~Photo By Mike Doling~
