DMF UNITED profile picture

DMF UNITED

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me


Get your scroller sign at YourCoolProfile.com!I am a football team that once graced The UCN inter college league. I am just over 3 years old, i have the backing of a wonderful chairman. Guido (the paedo) Magnagi, and his company Guzzini. I am a number of people, including, (in no particular order) JIM BOLLOX - a calamatous golkeeper with the slipperiest fingers in the west. nicknamed jim bollox due to his uncanny reembelance to american pies jason biggs. JAMIE DENNY - Replaced Bollox as 1st choice keeper, currently touring the world, looking to find himself, sometimes this lad will turn green, tho its not thru envy. BEN COBB - AKA massive Nob. third choice goalkeeper, made a few appearances, one up front. lacks talent, but has massive gurth. ADAM BOWN - a steady centre back, good in the air, not so good with the english language, looks a little bit like a sheep but hes not baaaavored. MATT HERRING - A strong centre back, if not a little slow, good in the air, rises like a herring, scored a couple of goals, however he will always be remembered for his glaring miss in the semi final. JAMES 'MINTY' DAVIDSON - Cetre Back/Cetre Mid always gettin booked, not through malice, just bad timing, yes right. Will probably be seen in 10 years time wearing his football shirt, he will probably get married in it (yes gay marriage is now legal) , TEJU - Would have been twice the player he was, if only he pulled his shorts up Left back/Centre mid. MARTIN - Established himself as a regular centre back, signed from Corinthians for a respectable 6m. GAY MICHAEL - Solid full Back, Good on the floor, petrified of heading the ball, can often be seen chasing boys through niteclubs trying to pinch their bums or tweek their nipples. i kid you not! BEN RADFORD - Solid Full back. The only player to be subbed off after 5 minutes through fatigue. Scored a wonder goal in his final season. ROBERT OAKLEY - Left Midfield. has a touch of a serial rapist but a good work rate, often confused for Chris Evans, David Moyes, Avid Merrion, Bradley Branning, Paul Scholes, Prince Harry or any other ugly ginger mutant. CHRIS BONICH - Centre mid. Scored some great goals over the years, never once broke into a sweat tho. Likes to compare himself to David Beckham, altho sadly he is more David Dickinson. KEV MACFARLANE - The Makalele of the team, only without the massive cock, Kev was often heard to shout such things as 'thats amazing' altho sadly he would have never said this on the pitch, instead only in phils bedroom. PAUL ROBINSON - Right Wing. scorer of DMF's most memorable goal, a beautiful over head kick from 20yds, always puts in the effort, altho his best skill is puttin up/takin down the net. SIMON MIZON - Cetre Mid/ Full back. has a very good first touch, however he is one of the biggest moaners in the team, along with Ben, Chris Matt and just about everyone else! YANNICK - Striker. Looks like Drogba, as powerful as Drogba and if i was writing this 6 months ago i would have said has the same woeful finishing of Drogba. SAM - Striker. A good finisher, Scored his own 'hand of God' goal. JONATHAN - Striker. Likes to drink Bacardi Breezers, fact! Scored a a few goals in his one season. GERMAN IAN - Left without a trace, if anyone has seen him please call the National Missing Helpline on 0870.... ROGER LEE TAYLOR LEWIS - Good Pace, good finiher, only managed one season, but stole the number 9 shirt in that time! 'GAFFA' STU OTWAY - Injured more than Michael Bridges and MV Foe put togeteher, however prooved himself in his return to the game. A bit of a chav tho. STEW HOWARD - PLayed centre back or makeshift striker, no idea why, terrible finisher, Richard Nicholls - Complained of calf strains, tho it could have just been lazyness, likes to call himself a striker. 2 left feet. NICKY HUDSON - A bit of a podgy midget, but some quick feet and a strong smell that puts off defenders., Danny C - Often found pissing in bars or gettin his cock out on dance floors. looks a little like postman pat. has good pace and a good range of passing. If i have left anyone out then be sure to let me know! I got my layouts from MySpace Layout Generator & Premade MySpace Layouts

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

In no particular order...Guigo Magnagi, Dion Dublin, Romario, Margaret Thatcher, Ronnie Corbett, Homer Simpson, Jason Biggs, Roland Rat, Lionel Blair, Chris Evans, Princess Anne, Anne Frank, Marco Van Basten, Barry from Eastenders, Jeremy Beadle.

My Blog

Poetry in Motion.

So friday is upon us, just one more night to go, The boys are back in Northampton, tell everyone you know, Rob will tell a story or 2, that will be pretty fun, i wonder if gay michael will be there, o...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 05:36:00 GMT

An update.

rite gentlemen, we have some confirmed people for the 3rd march. they are as follows:Ben McRadfordStuart McOtwayJimmy McDJim McBolloxJamie McDennyMatty McHerringRobert McOakleyRich McButcherNicky McHu...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 08:02:00 GMT

Breaking News

At a press conference yesterday DMF United player/manager Stu 'Gaffa' Otway confirmed that there will be a reunion game against Pirates on Sunday January 14th. Otway, 21, urged all ex-players to come ...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 13:53:00 GMT