Im just an old boy living in a world that seems foreign and strange. Society seems to talk to me in a different language that I have been struggling to understand my whole life. Having been called many things in the past, society has pushed me away from trying to fit the picture that everyone fights to get into frame for. I say its for the best. Everyone is so vain, hateful and greedy; I am glad that I never jumped on the rat race. The early 50's probably would have been a better era for me.
Todays technology, medicine, wars, and mindset honestly piss me off. If you asked me a few years ago as to why I stayed in it, I really wouldn't be able to give you an honest answer. Maybe I was just too stubborn. If you asked me why today, its because the only real dream I have ever had has come true. Yes, some people may say I am too young for such a responsibilty but I say better now than never. My girlfriend Jenn and I are expecting a young one in November. I truly am excited and joyful. Might be the only thing in this world I will truly love. I know I will be a wonderful father. Heh, I picture myself being that grumpy old dad from the 30's that hates everyone but would die a million times for his kid. You see, I never really had a father. I don't resent it at all, its shaped me into the man I am today. But its hard to really connect with a family setting when the person that helped bring you into this world is put in prison before your birth and then denys that you are his. Or when the adopted father mistreats you and you grow up terrified and scared of everything. But that talk is for another time.
Having a kid. It didn't quite really hit me until recently. At first when I found out, I didn't panic, I was actually analyzing everything. Finances, living situations, etc. But now, I actually feel the emotions from it and it really is wonderful. I wish the little tike would hurry up so that I could tell him/her (not sure what it is yet) that I love him/her. I just want to show that kid everything that I never had a chance to see. Thanks Jenn, you've probably saved me from myself. :)
I have two real best friends. I only need two. To me the rest of the world is crawling with morons and tools that have nothing useful to say. Adam Scully and Mellisa Shrader are the only two people that I could go to with any problem that I have, and vice versa. I've know Mell my whole life, growing up down the road from each other. Though we were sort of in different cliches in early years, we always been there for each other. haha, I'm gonna be her maid of honor when she gets married one day. (I'm holding you to that :D) Adam, I've been friends with since 6th grade. Both sort of being black sheep in Sand Creek middle school, we stuck together. Been through everything together. Girlfriends, fights, family issues, etc. His father had to leave unfortunately at a young age for Adam, so we both have a similar understanding of how hard it is. Adam is off seeing the world in the Air Force right now actually. I can't wait till hes on leave, so many exciting stories to be told from both sides I am sure. Sure I love my family, but Mell and Adam to me, are something greater than family.
