prostak profile picture

prostak

I cook like Betty Crocker, and I look like Donna Reed

About Me

I'm not a graduate, or a success at anything I'd like to be a success at (only at things like selling charity to idiots). I was an English teacher in Slask, Poland. Now I'm not. That was my favourite job (except maybe the time i worked within the complex of a sewage plant), then I worked for a charity, now I'm a student. I can tell when people are bullshitting me. Sometimes. I don't like writing about myself. I get the wrong impression often. I talk too much. I'm quite bitter and vaguely misanthropic. I have an ability to drink inordinate amounts of Polish vodka (not smirnoff or any of that chemically produced shit, triple-charcoal-filtered? my spinning cock they are). I am not what you want, there are no eyes IN YR HEAD. at least, i cannot see them.
I *really* like cigarettes and red wine, and coffee, hence I have yellow teeth, but I smell normal-ish I promise.
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will fight to the death for my right to ridicule yr views in an argument.
I BET I'VE GOT MORE FRIENDS THAN YOU'VE GOT COWS
Your Personality Is Like Acid
A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell! What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

My Interests

Wam! Bam! Mon chat, splatch G?t sur mon lit A bouff? sa langue En buvant dans mon whisky Quant ? moi Peu dormi, vid?, brim? J'ai d? dormir dans la goutti?re O? j'ai eu un flashHou ! Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! En quatre couleurs Allez hop ! Un matin Une louloute est v'nue chez-moi Poup?e de Cellophane Cheveux chinois Un sparadrap Une gueule de bois A bu ma bi?re Dans un grand verre En caoutchouc Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! Comme un indien dans son iglooAllez hop ! La nana Quel panard ! Quelle vibration ! De s'envoyer Sur le paillasson Lim?e, ruin?e, vid?e, combl?e "You are the King of the divan" Qu'elle me dit en passant Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! I am the King of the divanAllez hop ! T'occupe T'inqui?te Touche pas ma plan?te It's not to day Quel le ciel me tombera sur la t?te Et que l'alcool me manquera Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! ?a plane pour moiAllez hop ! ma nana S'est tir?e S'est barr?e Enfin c'est marre, a tout cass? L'?vier, le bar me laissant seul Comme un grand connardHou ! Hou ! Hou ! Hou ! Le pied dans le plat Ca plane pour moi!

I'd like to meet:

johnny cash, but he's dead. and jos? mourinho, cos he's SO handsome, and stern, but caring and committed with dreamy eyes. what a man. But then he cut his hair, and he's less of a dish now.Someone who doesn't lie to me.Anybody German, or Czech.Audrey Horne...

Music:

Gorky's, Super Furries, Silver Mt Zion, Godspeed, Skalpel, Sons+Daughters, BSP, Miss Kittin, M83, Stereolab, Raincoats, Wire, Camera Obscura, Kapela Wsi Ze Warszawa, Siekiera, Myslovitz, Madonna, Robotobibok, Smog, Cat Power, 80s Matchbox, Elastica, Angelo Badalamente, Joy Division, Leonard Cohen, Tystion, MC Mabon, Life Without Buildings, Arab Strap, Einsturzende Neubauten, Malcolm Middleton, New Order, Nick Cave, Pulp, Clash, Pavement, Silver Jews, The Fall, The Carter Family, Concretes, Flaming Lips, Peaches, Radiohead, Richard Hawley, Iggy Pop, Bowie, Serge Gainsbourg, Russian Futurists, Tom Waits, Kylie, Beach Boys, Yo La Tengo, Black Ox Orkestar, Bobby Conn, Eels, Happy Mondays, Gogol Bordello, Love, Mansun, Strip Squad, Bis, Delgados, 1-Speed Bike, Johnny Cash, DJ Format, X-Ray Spex, Dead Kennedys, JAMC, Au Pairs, Slits, Depeche Mode, the Carcraft of Rochdale advert, Chicks on Speed, Charles Trenet, Primal Scream, Regina Spektor, Dirty Three, Bert Jansch, Pavement, Roxy Music, Le Tigre, Datblygu, Can, Nino Rota, Lionel Belasco, Pipettes, Pixies, Elizabeth Anka Vajagic, Echo and the Bunnymen, Suicide, Velvets, Sonic Youth, ATV, Arcade Fire, To My Boy, Divinyls........ et al

Movies:

The Governator Rises



Bwain donnie gothko, dead man's shoes, downfall, last exit to brooklyn, requiem for a dream, anything indie and anything that tends towards psychological horror. Anything looking at loss or ennui. Like L'ennui. Ghost world's lovely. As is the entire 10-hour Dekalog, and kiesl?wski's bleaker than bleak 80s output. Um. French things, and anything which runs along with my general mood. Fellini stuff. Herzog. ooh ooh George A Romero too, and anything erring on the side of trashy horror.

Television:

eastenders - i nearly kicked myself to death with excitement when Frank came back. MASH makes me cry sometimes. Like the episode where Henry dies, or the last ever one where everybody says goodbye. otherwise, dark comedy like jam or monkey dust (when it's not being too knowingly surreal, anyway). twin peaks is beautiful. Curb yr Enthusiasm, Family guy, King of the Hill, the Carcraft of Rochdale advert, i like it when channel 4 show 60s Public Information Films without warning, too.

Books:

anything by hubert selby jr. Books about people like Albert Speer that Mr Lomas lends to me. I went through a phase of reading only russian classics, but then I was quite a conceited wanker once, and probably still am. the philosophy course made it difficult to read other things. now it's my lack of organisation.

Heroes:

post-drugs Maradona. Eduard Streltsov. Marek Edelmann. Ionel Boeru. J?zef Tischner. Jerzy Popieluszko. Adam Michnik. Vytautas Landsbergis. Owain Glyndwr. Des Walker.

My Blog

fucking little bastards

People are often curious as to why I wish to eradicate cokeheads the world over, perhaps using some kind of potassium mixture to burn the bastards' faces off from the inside out. Aside from the fact t...
Posted by prostak on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 12:33:00 PST

Filthy outline

Who the fuck is reading this? Apparently, 27 people THIS WEEK. That's probably more people than I've spoken to this week, including the brief conversations with shop assistants.Anyway, I was gonna pos...
Posted by prostak on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 06:03:00 PST

mistakes + regrets

Yeah, number one, if you're my friend and you're reading this, sorry I haven't been in society at large recently, there's various reasons for this partial withdrawal but basically I've just been crap....
Posted by prostak on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 06:20:00 PST

or this

...
Posted by prostak on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 07:44:00 PST

fun with pictures

http://www.myheritage.com...
Posted by prostak on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 07:40:00 PST

born and raised in south De-troi-oit

two announcements:1. My stepbrother has been discharged. This is excellent.2. My girlfriend fucking rocks.Also, the other day, the aforementioned stepbrother's dad commented the other day to his son's...
Posted by prostak on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 04:04:00 PST

Stasiek: Part 2

Right. The next instalment of our saga concerns a little development of the character of the man. As I mentioned, he had an odd way of arranging his syntax, an example of this being sticking his head ...
Posted by prostak on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 09:01:00 PST

budd dwyer lives

Odd day today... So, I figure it's a good time to commit to digital memory the aforementioned story of Stasiek, the oddest chap I ever met.To give some background, I had been introduced to Stasiek's f...
Posted by prostak on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 11:20:00 PST

the crackhead on the broadway

OH MY, I forgot to mention the crackhead me and Sarah encountered while in Ammersmiff. Approaching us with terrifying, wide eyes that looked like they were on fire or something, asking for 50p. Obviou...
Posted by prostak on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:32:00 PST

why do German football teams wear such odd colours?

So, I went to London (via Reading) to see my stepbrother in hospital, now I'm back in Manchester for a few days before a van comes to take all my stuff south again. I'll be glad of this, cos it'll be ...
Posted by prostak on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:04:00 PST