uno suave gato profile picture

uno suave gato

who shot who in the what now?

About Me

I'm one smooth cat that fights like a dog is hung like a horse and will 'cut chyou like a mexican meng...'Your walk is:
Pirate-esque

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

My Interests

wakin', bakin', drinkin', thinkin', readin', dreamin', believin', skatin', debatin', fornicating', contemplating', money makin', incubatin', autumn leaf rakin', stylin', wilin', profilin', travelin', mystery unravelin', sleepin', creepin', crypt walkin', smooth talkin', blunt sparkin', willy d barkin', chickin heads hawkin', pigeon necks gawkin', lurkin', jerkin', workin', burpin', drankin', stripper spankin', packinnamacinthabackofdaackin'

I'd like to meet:

Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Glen Livet, Jose Cuervo, Clarence "The Captain" Morgan, Jack Daniels, Sam Adams, Moana Miller "High Life", Surly Duff, and (St.) Pauly's Girl (whatever that broad's name is...)

Music:

hiphop, blues, classic rock, silence, reggae, willy d singing acapella, gunshots and dusk, smashing glass...

Movies:

grass, half baked, 40 year old virgin, napoleon dynamite, big labowski, v for vendetta, jay and silent bob strike back, scarface, heat, casino, orgasmo, and some others i dont feel like thinking about...i like movies!

Television:

simpsons, flavour of love (first season), sopranos, most extreme elimination challenge, daily show, telemundo, itchy and scratchy..

Books:

don quijote - cervantes, any hg wells, coffee table books shaped like a coffee table about coffee tables sitting on my coffee table, why i write - george orwell, the hobbit - jrr tolkien, satans guide to morality - Satan, Autobiographical Memoirs of George Dubya Bush - Satan

Heroes:

its pronounced hoagie (ho-ge) and it comes with turkey, american cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, salt and thats it! put mayo or any other bullshit and i will stab you in your left hand with a plastic spoon...(I'm anti-condiment, D.A.R.E to keep kids off condiments)

My Blog

Bitches and dog shit

so im walking willy d with my mother the other day when i was confronted with a situation.  i hate being confronted with a situation with my mother present for one, because i would be scared...
Posted by uno suave gato on Mon, 06 Mar 2006 06:46:00 PST

A real life dandy terminator huh...

yesterday i was on a mission.  well actually yesterday i was on the mental mission of what i physically started on sunday and was too lazy to finish but whose counting anyway?  so back to my...
Posted by uno suave gato on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 01:27:00 PST

so i sez to my self, "self...

get the fuck out of bed and get to work to you can make money and frivolously spend it on booze and shoes to which the booze is to forget the stress the work week put me thru and the shoes to kick the...
Posted by uno suave gato on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:51:00 PST

i vaguely remember when...(dorm stories)

i was going to write about osage ave when i realized that i should go in some sort of chronological order while stumbling through my vaguely remembered stories that i remember more and more ...
Posted by uno suave gato on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 12:48:00 PST

the history of cooter ball...

It was a brisk November evening in 1986 when John Doe of upper Cackalack County in Georgia met up with his buddies on the way to Golddiggers, a popular 'gentlemans' club off Rt. 47.  John had jus...
Posted by uno suave gato on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 09:07:00 PST

This dude smells like poo--->

when i was a wee lad i was once told that eating healthy builds up a barrier that protects you from smelling like shit when you have to take a shit.  you know when your grumbling around down ther...
Posted by uno suave gato on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 09:28:00 PST

no i am not a hippy and did not give that sycamore tree a dirty sanchez...

the quick story behind me taking telepathetic vitamins and all that hippy jazz is quite simple.  my homie edWORD campbell, as he now goes by, is a homie since been and has recently moved back her...
Posted by uno suave gato on Wed, 18 Jan 2006 08:07:00 PST

Telepathic Vitamins

dang so this is my first blog posting and i must say i am impressed.  this blog is like the honeymoon suite at the borgata where a post is the janitors closet at motel 6.  well telepathy is ...
Posted by uno suave gato on Wed, 18 Jan 2006 07:27:00 PST