Ben

I have been kicked out of Abbey Road Studios, ran over by a jet-ski, been to and know where the Outer Hebrides are, been publicly nude in Germany, ate grits in Bayou La Batre (come on, you haven’t been there), been bitten by a snake, ejected from a casino in Deadwood, been to an exclusive porno party, had a car stolen in Detroit, been to Catalina by private plane, have incorrect information on my birth certificate, seen a forest fire in Idaho, worked at the MoMA, been know to spend fifty dollars on cheese, witnessed a jewelry store robbery followed by a gunfight across the street, have never shopped at Wal-Mart, had a high speed police chase end in my yard, stood in Crazy Horse’s armpit, been on a sinking boat in Houghton Lake, have never voted for someone that actually won, been to the “Dawn of the Dead” Mall, spent the night at the YMCA, marched in a parade in Disneyworld, rode the Chunnel to London, been to the Corn Palace (one than once), took the stairs at the Eiffel Tower, co-own a company, broke down on the Autobahn, was in Times Square on the millennium, once built an entire stage so we could play a show, snuck someone into the United Nations building in New York, have stood on the roof of the World Trade Center, been chased by thugs in Chicago, managed to not get pulled over in Oklahoma, been stranded in Minneapolis with $3, had sex outside on the hood of somebody’s car, have seen every inch of the Dublin airport, been wasted on a plane, robbed at gunpoint on a train, been hit by a car, rode the gondola in the Swiss Alps, been on the witness stand in a court of law, flown first-class, played numerous shows at a tanning salon, performed at the Milwaukee auditorium, ate at the revolving restaurant in the CN tower, been to three corners of Wyoming and I’ve seen more human bones in the Catacombs underneath Paris than you could ever imagine.