ryan edward profile picture

ryan edward

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that...

About Me

The events unfolded in a manner such as this: The birth of my first child brought complications in the delivery room. The doctors panicking and arguing loudly, I was shuffled out into the waiting room while the chaos and confusion continued behind closed doors I heard my wife’s screams finally stop, I assume from the administration of some type of anesthetic. I soon found that it was something far worse. When the doctors came out they were visibly exhausted and shaken and stained red with spattered blood. The birth had killed my wife but the child had survived. I went into the room and saw the baby. I wasn’t allowed to hold it but I stood and looked at it through a haze of confusion and contempt. I took the child home and cared for it. Over time it began to crawl and then walk over time it grew teeth and bit me. I sat and watched him break every toy that I gave him to play with. I picked up the cat dead after he threw it down the stairs and broke its neck. I watched him and felt the resentment grow, seeing what was left in place of my wife. He was a thing as far removed from humanity as the most vile beast. The day came when I no longer was willing to accept him as my seed. I approached him sleeping in his bed and put a pillow over his face. There was no sadness in this. As he started to struggle for air I saw a flash of something and felt a warm stinging pain in my stomach. I let go of the pillow and saw the knife in my stomach. The blood spilled across the floor and I dropped to my knees. Then he came for me with the knife in his hand and murder in his eyes.

My Interests

hands that shake and mouths that quake.

I'd like to meet:

girls and boys who are roughly your size.

Music:

iron maiden, orchid, reversal of man, lifetime, the khayembii communique, modern life is war, against me!, sage francis, twelve hour turn, converge, the clash, POS, propagandhi, jawbreaker, neurosis, lucero, doomtree, dillinger four, isis, kylesa, municipal waste, from ashes rise, hot cross, paintbox, gauze, pig destroyer, mastodon, my lai, tragedy, his hero is gone, red sparowes

Movies:

lord of the rings, re-animator, evil dead 1 & 2, army of darkness, dead alive(brain dead), bad taste, kill bill, napoleon dynamite, everything by david lynch.

Television:

csi, lost, the simpsons, family guy and cartoons - that would be about it for tv.

Books:

anything by frank miller, chuck pahluniak, william s burroughs, most comic books.

Heroes:

my mom - she was the most beautiful person in the world.

My Blog

its been two long years

it's been two long years and i still shed the occasional tear.  i still feel cheated and flattened.  i think of my mother daily and she makes me smile.  this song by lucero really makes...
Posted by ryan edward on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 09:58:00 PST

fuck the border

A friend of mine dropped me a line, it said, "man, i gotta run to the usa. i got no money, got no job." she skipped out of mexico to stay alive. you've got a problem with her living heUt what did you ...
Posted by ryan edward on Sat, 05 May 2007 10:19:00 PST

gone

I can't believe my eyes anymore I turn around and you're not there I don't believe my mind anymore it tells me things I don't want to hear where have I gone crushing my soulcrushing my heart where has...
Posted by ryan edward on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 05:49:00 PST

We are all outsiders

The Outsiders (A.K.A. Hell Is For Heroes Part I)So what the fuck are you going to do, kid?Still ratting at the chains of the gates of the world...But you can't quite pretend.Still tasting youth's bitt...
Posted by ryan edward on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:26:00 PST

one year

its been one year and i still have nightmares. Well I'm sorry my dear Never thought the end was so near A heart full of snakes and a belly full of rage Has left me with a fistful of tears Wave the oce...
Posted by ryan edward on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 10:53:00 PST