Drunken belly punching contests with pregnant ladies, fetus poppers, laughing at fat kids, taking candy from children, doing it, bragging about doing it, having a stiff drink, and another one, Djarum blacks, platform boots with lots of buckles, the Freshmen Inquisition, making people cry, boinking your mom, the word boink in general, being nasty enough that I stop getting messages from unappealing strangers, playing with other people's brains. Crushing stupid men and women beneath exquisite high heels, collecting black leather, snarky commentary, bitch-slapping little boys who try to look up my skirt, making babies scream, webcomics, making grown men cry, modelling, being paid to hurt people. Bend over.
I don't want to meet anyone. I live in a city, a state, a country, on a planet of fooled idiots who started out life swallowing what the world they desperately want to fit into thought they should know.
You're probably one of those people. Swallow, never spit, just lie back and take it. Open your mouth and close your eyes, spread legs and open wide, wider; is that all you've got?
When those milk teeth first raped your sore and semen coated gums, you started to chew over the things the world told you that you'd always just swallowed, but you never stopped eating. Growing, swelling, flesh expanding, gut distending, drooling, dirty, covered in crumbs and sweat and eventually blood.
Yes, blood, because the world's ugly facts are hard truths that break teeth and cut tongues. Exfoliate your throat.
But you kept swallowing it, along with pieces of your own teeth, and through a mouthful of bone splinters and spit-diluted blood, all you people I don't want to meet look at me with empty eyes and try to tell me the way of the world.
I can't quite believe a word you're mumbling; shock rock but all filler. Thrill me, chill me? Yes. But lies can't fulfill me.
I'll throw you all away for a poem after midnight and a milkshake with an extra cherry on top. I don't care what the rest of the world is up to, as long as you'll please, leave me alone.
So far, being honest has kept 100% of sick bastards out of my inbox! Give it a try!
Okay. If you actually read every last word on my profile, and you are still interested in making my acquaintance, and you are a good conversationalist, PM me with your best story. Do you write fiction? Did you meet a Jehovah's witness during intimate relations with their sister at the morgue? Have you held live puppies abandoned by their mother and subsequently eaten alive by vermin and been asked to "save" them, then held them still while someone else shot them full of poison?
Are you even more interesting than that?
If so, message me. If I don't think you're all that, I'll still rip you a new one.
In no particular order:
the Smiths, VNV Nation, Skinny Puppy, the Cruxshadows, Syntec, the Dresden Dolls, the Velvet Underground,Syrian, Iris, Sublime, Bob Marley, Helmet, NIN, the Faint, Freezepop, the Cure, ohGr, Morphine, KMFDM, MDFMK, And One, Bauhaus, Combichrist, Jack off Jill, scarling., DNTEL, the Postal Service, Placebo, David Bowie, the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, the Doors, London After Midnight, the Killers, Jack Johnson, Joy Division, Daft Punk, Assemblage 23, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Peter Murphy, Sisters of Mercy, Orgy, Mindless Self Indulgence, Switchblade Symphony, Funker Vogt, Elliot Smith, Modest Mouse, the Pixies, Bjork, Metric, Pretty Girls Make Graves, the Distillers, Kiss, the Bravery, Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, Gorillaz, Black Sabbath, Dispatch, the Mars Volta, Poison, A Perfect Circle, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Panic! at the Disco, Wolfsheim, Stromkern, Broken Spindles, Blaqk Audio, She Wants Revenge, Ladytron, EJ Holmes,
See that comma at the end? This section is constantly being updated when I find new music or remember what I forgot in the first place.
I think the New York Dolls are pretty, but I haven't heard enough by them to say I like them or not. Bauhaus wrote my favorite song, but I've been listening to The Cure self titled and Flatlands on rotation in my car.
I'm an elitist asshole who hates the hip hop culture and firmly believes that rap just stands for Retards Attempting Poetry.
I'm completely in love with Army of Lovers. Like, I want to be them when I grow up. Seriously.
Mirrormask, Labyrinth, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Jean de Florette, the Dreamers, Amelie, anything with Bela Lugosi in, cheesy Marilyn Monroe flicks (especially with Lauren Bacall. Speaking of Mrs. Bogart, I like film noir, too.)
I'm bored, I'll finish this later.
I am always looking for new erotica.
Go read Naked Lunch. Then take a cold shower, and read it again.
I like trashy vampire novels. Yes, this means Anne Rice. (Her son is good, if you like reading about homosexual men.) I idolize Walt Whitman, I'm in love with Poppy Z., I enjoy Saul Williams, and I will marry anyone who writes like Anais Nin or Edgar Allen Poe. I also like Ayn Rand, Stephen King, Baudelaire, Sharon Olde, Rilke, de Sade, Masoch, Neil Gaiman, T.S. Elliot, H.P. Lovecraft, C.S. Lewis (but NOT the Chronicles of Narnia), J.K. Rowling, J.R. Tolkien, Laurel K. Hamilton (but not Micah). I like "The Once and Future King", "Watership Down", which is what I'm reading at the moment, "Memoirs of a Geisha", "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", "Blood and Chocolate", and many others. You've never heard of them, but Michael McQuarrie, Jay Bowman, and Kaleb Cribb are damn good.
This is a totally incomplete list.
People who break the unwritten laws, whether through obliviousness or willful disregard, and pay the consequences gracefully.