Justin profile picture

Justin

I am here for Friends

About Me

About me? Where to begin? Talk about a landslide of information, you just opened the proverbial box of worms. Is it a box? What do worms come in anyway? I'm all that and a photo-mat. This is LA so you gotta do it all, man. I'm an actor. Yeah, you heard me, right, babe. TV is my medium and my body is my instrument. I work out eighteen times a week and this has caused a mild form of mental retardation but the payout is well worth it. My shit is kickass! I do mostly action movies. Van Damme is a pussy! You heard me, PUSSY! What's that you say? You're friends with him? Give him my address and tell him what I think of his bitch ass mom, then DARE the sissy to come on over so I can break his neck with my bare hands. I'm shooting my roids now in anticipation. What's that you say? Steven Seagal? I CANNOT fucking wait to yank that pony tail and kidney punch him relentlessly until he cries uncle! I also do some soft-core porn simply cuz my abs are perfect and I'm how shall we say, "quite gifted" below the belt. I will send you pictures if you're interested for five bucks a pop. I won't do hard-core though, I respect myself too much, I'm not a piece of meat! Quit staring at my ass, you cretin! "What else can God's gift to women do" you're probably asking yourself right now, "He's already perfect!"(In an Al Pacino voice) "I'm just getting staaaaaarted!" I also rap, my shit is super dope, the dopest! Don't make me freestyle on your bitch ass, your head will be spinning so fast you won't know what hit you. You'll be thinking you're in reshoots for TWISTER. (Favorite movie by the way.) But don't get me wrong, ladies.... I'm not all pecs and ass-kicking testosterone in a bitchin fast red Ferrari. (It's kickass by the way, if you're hot, I'll let you pump my gas for me while I stare at your bod.) I'm also very sensitive. I'm not afraid to show my bitch-like side when movies move me emotionally. Just to name a few films in which I cried like a woman -- "Just Like Heaven" "Bi-Centenial Man" "Mrs. Doubtfire" "Zeus and Roxanne" (The touching story of a strange, yet undying friendship between a dolphin and a golden retriever, starring the extraordinarily talented Steve Guttenberg) "Legally Bland" and "Deepthroat." So if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm your man. Just don't drip on the shirt, babe, that's linen.

My Interests

Reading, writing and arithmetic. Making out, pair-bonding, rock n roll, naked oil twister, pizza, pasta, cooking, playing Vice City and Hitman, movies, the beach, waterskiing on acid, animals, knitting pretty quilts, playing poker (no, not STRIP poker, you pervert, on second thought, how do you look naked?) tennis, hockey, hypnosis, palmistry... did I mention making out?

I'd like to meet:

Girls who say they aren't into drama. They crack me up!I'm also a big fan of girls who respond to my charming witticisms with simply, "LOL." Wordsmiths these women, I tell you!"I met a girl on here with "OMG" tattooed on the inside of her lower lip, that's hot! LOL!And this chick. Man, can she stack!!!

Music:

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums.Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
Click Here to get this from FreeFlashToys.com!

Movies:

The Kids are Alright, Buffalo 66', Mean Streets, Made, The Godfather, The Royal Tennenbaums, American Psycho, The Professional, The Big Lebowski, Bad Lieutenant, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Full Metal Jacket, The Shining, A Clockwork Orange (or anything by Stanley Kubrick for that matter) Vacation, Three Amigos, Sister Act I and II (fucking brilliant) Life is Beautiful, This is Spinal Tap, Half Nelson, Bad Santa, Sexy Beast, Love Liza, Teenage Tit Freaks.

Television:

Miami Vice, Crime Story, Dog Whisperer, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Beavis and Butthole, The Shield.....

Books:

Woman's Inhumanity to Women (Ladies, you gots to read this book, it will blow your freaking mind), The Catcher in the Rye, The Art of Seduction, A Confederacy of Dunces, Glamorama, Less Than Zero, anything by Burroughs or Bukowski or Kerouac or David Sedaris....

Heroes:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."

My Blog

Burro El Fuego

I just made an accident my stomach won't soon forgive or forget. I went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered something called "Burro El Fuego." I'm no Mexican historian but I believe that means somethi...
Posted by Justin on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 06:03:00 PST

Happy Birthday, Charlie (Rat Terrier)

Happy F-ing Birthday, El Chucko (Spanish for Chuck) You're like, almost like, the best dog in the world. I mean, there are other dogs I dig, but you're way up there. Not number one or anything. I mean...
Posted by Justin on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 12:28:00 PST

Watch my episode of 7th Heaven on April 22nd on the CW!!!

"Some Break-Ups And Some Get-Togethers" Written by: Justin TrofholzDirected by: Jason Priestly Thanks for your support, Justin
Posted by Justin on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:38:00 PST

Thanksgiving Traditions

Well it's Thanksgiving, Pilgrims, and I would like to wish everyone a very happy one. I don't know how all of you city folk were raised but some very specific traditions were taught to me growing up a...
Posted by Justin on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 09:40:00 PST

Gazillionaire Time....

Gonna go play some poker this weekend and I plan on hitting the big time, kids. For reals. I mean like Miami Vice style cigarette boats, Bentleys made of solid gold and mansions in Nice and Rome. Walk...
Posted by Justin on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 04:15:00 PST

My wardrobe has been violated! Someone must pay!

Yesterday on my way to work I left my dry cleaning outside the door of my apartment like a complete dumbass.There was about 8-10 dress shirts, some workout clothes, and enough cocaine in that bag to l...
Posted by Justin on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 06:00:00 PST

Deep philosophical questions for a doggie of supreme intelligence.....

  Hey Sushi,   Everybody knows that you're a dog of exceptional education and a professor in your own right. I wonder if you wouldn't mind answering a few questions for me regarding&n...
Posted by Justin on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 11:00:00 PST

"Garden State" is gayer than "Brokeback Mountain" and here's why.....

Yeah, pal, you heard me right....   I have a lot of male friends who are so in the closet they refuse to see a movie that's based on gay guys. This, in itself, is to me, very gay......   Any...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 24 Jul 2006 12:34:00 PST

For all you lovely, lovely ladies out there....

I was talking to a guy friend of mine about this the other night over drinks.... tell me what you think.... What are your thoughts on men who are afraid of your beauty? It seems to me that at the very...
Posted by Justin on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 03:01:00 PST

Being 14 doesn't make you special!

There is a new trend amongst "really, really cool girls" on MySpace. These girls are so popular that they need to be 14 in order to have a "private profile." These girls are just too busy to deal with...
Posted by Justin on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 10:03:00 PST