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Stop Abuse

This is NOT a man-bashing, man-hating site - it's merely a medium for information! An abuser can be

About Me

Many verbal abusers are delightful, charming men in public. They treat their spouse or girlfriend with such respect that people often think they "are the perfect couple." They save their cruelty for a private audience of one.(Shocking huh?)

Why do intelligent, warm women permit verbal abuse from boyfriends and later from spouses?

During the courtship period, everyone is on their best behavior. The verbal abuse is slight and probably few and far between. Since women want to believe the best of their lovers, they overlook obvious verbal abuse. Chemistry adds to the capability women have to overlook the first subtle signs of abuse.


The abuser needs help!

Men resist seeking help.

Research suggests that while some men who are violent may think about getting help, the majority of them don’t. Some of the reasons men do not seek out help include:

Acceptance of violence – a man who thinks that he is entitled to dominate family members and that it is okay to solve problems with violence may not believe that he needs help.

He may blame the victim for ‘provoking’ his behaviour.

Read the rest of the article by clicking here.
Why do men abuse women? (good read, click here)
We all face difficulties in our lives. And we all use various means of solving these problems. Violence and acting out in anger are not solutions to any problems we may be encountering. Nor is dating violence the answer to keeping a friendship or romance. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11 NLT) Abuse in any relationship, including dating relationships, should not be tolerated.
“The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence.” (Psalm 11:5 NLT) This verse tells us that God hates violence. People who use violence may want to control you or scare you; they may have bad tempers, stress in their lives, alcohol or drug problems, low self esteem, or they simply may not know a better way of dealing with their problems. This still does not mean that violence should be tolerated.
If he is abusive...
• Break off the relationship
• Take time to heal
• Seek positive friends
• Avoid being alone with him
“He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 NLT
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.” 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
You need time to heal spiritually and emotionally. Allow God to be your comfort. There are others in your life that can help as well.
Talk to your...
• parents
• sister or brother
• close friend
• youth leader or pastor
• teacher
• coach
• doctor
• counselor
These people can help you. They can listen, give advice and be supportive of your decisions.

My Interests


What is a Narcissist and what is the description of Jeckyl and Hyde? Site to read: (click the title) Romeo's Bleeding - "When Mr. Right Turns Out to be Mr. Wrong" -very interesting read on different abuser personality types.
Does he say "everything" is your fault? Does he say "you just make me so angry..." Does he say "you provoke me?" Does he blame others for his actions - ex's in the past? These are all excuses...his ANGER is NOT your fault! Read the article in its entirety!

The Bible affirms that all human beings are made in the image of God, and have the same dignity and value in God’s sight (Genesis 1:26-27, 5:2-3; Acts 17:25-26; James 3:9). It is the obligation of all believers to respect and honor one another and to promote each other’s well being (Romans 12:10-16; 15:1-2; Galatians 6:2; Colossians 3:11).
In Jesus Christ, there must be no partiality or discrimination (Galatians 3:28; James 2:1-9). Christ calls us to mutual submission; and desires that we embody and exemplify in every aspect of our lives and relationships, the transforming power of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 4:19; 5:22-23; Ephesians 5:21).
In whatever sense persons choose to understand “submit”, it is important to note that every time the Scriptures speak of wifely submission, there is a specific directive to prevent spousal abuse (Ephesians 5:28-29; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7).

I'd like to meet:

Need Help? Bay Area Turning Point Hotline - 281- 286-2525 or National Domestic Violence Hotline - 800-799-7233.

We are all significant in God's eyes.

“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid, you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:7 NLT

Throughout God’s Word, violence is condemned and peaceful living is encouraged. There are more than one hundred Biblical passages condemning various forms of violence and abuse. As Christians, we need therefore to listen to the heart of God and align our own hearts with His. From God’s Word we learn the following principles:

• The Bible calls for loving responsible relationships between members of the family, with each in honor providing for the needs of the other.

• A wife is an equal heir of the gracious gift of life and not the possession of her husband.

• Intimacy requires equality and mutuality. Sexual communion requires mutual consent.

• God’s plan is that the home should be free of oppression.

• Physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse are forbidden by God.

• Misinterpretations of the concepts of headship, submission, and hierarchy have been used to justify abuse.

• Silence, secrecy, or concealment are not God’s way of dealing with abuse.

• The Church is charged with the responsibility to address situations of abuse within its own community.

• Adultery and infidelity are condemned in Scripture.

• Christians cannot condone polygamy, prostitution, sex trafficking, child abuse, or rape.

• Forgiveness is the work of the Holy Spirit. For the abuser, it must be preceded by true repentance. For the abused, forgiveness is part of the healing process and will take time and perhaps distance.

• Changed attitudes and behavior, rather than tears, extravagant gifts, or desperate promises prove genuine repentance.

• While Christians may in some circumstances risk their lives for the sake of the Gospel, they should not be exhorted to enter, remain, or return to life threatening situations.

• Sometimes a period of separation is the best course for the safety and peace of family members.

• Godly men and women are called to acknowledge the prevalence and severity of abuse, to respond compassionately to those who suffer, and to aid in their healing through practical and spiritual support.

• The Church should be an agent of healing for the victim and the offender.

Music:



Movies:


Anger and violence are not in God's plan for us.
“A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back.” Proverbs 29:11 NLT
“Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT
“A hot-tempered person starts fights and gets into all kinds of sin.” Proverbs 29:22 NLT
“Dear friends, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.” James 1: 19-20 NLT
“Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy?” Proverbs 27:4 NLT
“A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.” Proverbs 25:28 NLT
“The words of the godly lead to life, evil people cover up their harmful intentions.” Proverbs 10: 11 NLT
“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results:...hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group,...anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19, 21 NLT
“The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence.” Psalm 11:5 NLT
“Do not envy a violent man or choose any of his ways.” Proverbs 3:31 NLT
“Give up your violence and oppression and do what is just and right.” Ezekiel 45:9 NLT

Television:


Love is what God requires of us. This love does not include violence or abuse.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it’s own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” I Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
“And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church...In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife.” Ephesians 5:25, 28 NLT
“And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly.” Colossians 3:19 NLT

Books:


God heals those hurts in our lives, taking care of us.
“He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 NLT
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.” 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NLT
“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46: I NLT
“He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak.” Isaiah 40:29 NLT
“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:7 NLT
What is your biblical response when abuse happens to others?
“All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT
“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Proverbs 17:17 NLT
“Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.” 1 Peter 3:8 NLT
“Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or place to stay.” 1 Peter 4:9 NLT
“Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 NLT
“When God’s children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night.” Romans 12:13 NLT
“Do for others what you would like them to do for you.” Matthew 7:1 2a NLT

Heroes:

God; survivors

My Blog

The Candy Cane - I am in the Christmas spirit! :)

CANDY CANEThe symbol of the shepherd's crook is an ancient one, representing the humble shepherds who were first to worship the newborn Christ. The white color of the Christmas candy symbolizes the Vi...
Posted by Stop Abuse on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 07:28:00 PST

Do YOU Feel Like This?

One of the strongest, sexiest, most confident women in my opinion - BEYONCE'.  This was one of the song's I heard when I was bitter and angry about what had happened... what do you think about th...
Posted by Stop Abuse on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 06:44:00 PST

What is a Narcissist?

CHARACTERISTICS of the NARCISSIST and others with Personality Disorders  -http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/characteristics.html Narcissists may have some or all of these behaviors or may be cros...
Posted by Stop Abuse on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 08:57:00 PST