My mother and father are step-brother and sister, making them my aunt and uncle, my half siblings are cousins (confused? try understanding it when you're a child). I've been kidnapped. My mother took me to a KKK meeting (by accident) at age 4 and to "Rocky Horror Picture Show" when I was 5. I've given a ride in my car to an Oscar winner, enjoy giving rides to hitchhikers because they have interesting stories and have hitched a ride on a semi-truck. I've been white-water rafting on the Nile River, traveled to 3 continents, been SCUBA diving in 3 oceans, climbed to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro (19,500 feet), dove 109 feet, and skydove from 13,500 feet. I was an assistant dolphin trainer. I went pee at the White House (So what you say? It required the coordination of 3 Secret Service peronnel talking into their sleeves and ushering me through several back doors.) I'm Carvel Ice Cream's Little Miss Half-Pint 1977. I've lived in FL my whole life, except the one year I lived in Madagascar. I personally know a pimp and a madame and I've worked in a strip club. I've spent a day with a man who was later convicted by the Catholic Church of heresy. I still fit into my high school senior prom dress. I've been to John Mayer's apartment (4 years after he lived there but still...), was the first female alter server at my church and can change the oil in my car. I've been under general anaesthesia. I was a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz at the Daytona Beach Playhouse when I was 6. I've been for a ride on a Zamboni and know American Sign Language; I've been told I have a nice cervix (by a professional) and I've been to the only confirmed pirate island in the world. I outfitted a 3-day snowboarding vacation by going to the lost and found at the lodge. I've had the seat stolen from my bike (ever try riding a bike without a seat? It's not comfortable) and recently the distributor and spark plug wires were stolen from my car. (Who does this shit anyway?)
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