Impossible Things |
"There's no use trying," Alice said; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day...
Posted by on Sun, 12 Oct 2008 08:28:00 GMT |
orange. |
The toothbrush twin pack seemed too perfectsmiling at me from the shelf.
The green one would be for me, and the other one could be yours. It wasorange. It looked like you.I bought the twin...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:38:00 GMT |
"Ive been to hell and back so many times I must admit you kind of bore me" |
In my night class, our desks are set up in a big semi-circle, so everyone in the class can look at each other and participate more fully in engaging discussions (in theory, at least.) The g...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:22:00 GMT |
various forms of public humiliation |
today i gave a speech about skin cancer and how if you've ever once been in a tanning bed in your entire life you are going to get skin cancer and you are going to die. i also informed my classm...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 12:12:00 GMT |
Stop being such a tool. |
Dear Inconsiderate Frat Boy,
I really don't mind that I had to stand on the shuttle today, and not one of your little fratty friends gave up his seat to me. I'm not one of those helpless gi...
Posted by on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 12:30:00 GMT |
The last days of Mofo the betta fish. |
I have sad news. Mofo has, in fact, left us and passed on to the big fish tank in the sky. If only I had known that his violent thrashing and splashing was, in fact, his death throes, I ma...
Posted by on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 08:21:00 GMT |
Cheer up, emo kid. |
I have accidentally become emo.
I'm not exactly sure how this happened; I've been fighting it for a long time. Hell, I make fun of the emo kids more than anyone else. But today at work a g...
Posted by on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 23:04:00 GMT |
"Jesus doesn't love you anymore." |
Yesterday at work a little boy grabbed his lip and said, "Jesus says don't wear those." I stared at him.
For some reason every customer at Barnes and Noble thinks it is perfectly acceptable to t...
Posted by on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 13:41:00 GMT |
