James profile picture

James

Ohm Sweet Ohm.

About Me

I am infinitely more intelligent than you are. I make more money. My car? It is much faster than the one you drive. My yacht is larger than the one you would have if you owned one. My helicopter is more sleek in design. My interpersonal relationships are deeper than yours and are more fulfilling. I donate more money to charity than you do. I appreciate the arts on a much deeper level than you could ever hope to. I realized that I ended that last sentence with a preposition before you did. I am more comfortable with myself than you are, and I love my mother more than you love yours. I have gained universal love and acceptance, even in remote regions of the world, whereas you have only garnered the approval of your fellow countrymen, a few Canadians, and a surprising number of people from Eastern Block countries who may or may not have ties to the Russian Mafia. My Mafia ties are stronger than yours. I have killed more people than you have. I have forgiven more people as well. I am morally superior to you. I have a better sense of humor. In short, there is no area in which you could ever hope to be superior to me.

My Interests

THINGS THAT BORE ME.

I'd like to meet:

HERMITS, RECLUSES, AND MISANTHROPES.

Music:

MAGNETIC FIELDS; JANES ADDICTION; BAUHAUS; LOVE AND ROCKETS; THE CURE; THE SMITHS; BELLE AND SEBASTIAN; JEFF BUCKLEY; RUFUS WAINRIGHT; TOM WAITS; BJORK; COCTEAU TWINS; THE CLASH; CRANES; SWANS; DAVID BOWIE; DEPECHE MODE; DIAMANDA GALAS; EINSTURZENDE NEUBAUTEN; HOLLY GOLIGHTLY; MORRISSEY; THE SMITHS; KRAFTWERK; LEGENDARY PINK DOTS; MAZZY STAR; MEAT BEAT MANIFESTO; MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL KULT; MY BLOODY VALENTINE; NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS; NINA SIMONE; NINE INCH NAILS; PHILIP GLASS; PORTISHEAD; RADIOHEAD; SIGUR ROS; MASSIVE ATTACK; TRICKY; BLONDE READHEAD; DEPECHE MODE; CIRCLESQUARE; SIOUXIE; SISTERS OF MERCY; TEAR GARDEN; TINDERSTICKS; THE YEAH YEAH YEAHS...

Movies:

CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI; NOSFERATU; UNDERGROUND; CITY OF LOST CHILDREN; GODFATHER; HAPPINESS; EDWARD SCISSORHANDS; GUFFMAN; BEST IN SHOW; OFFICE SPACE; ANYTHING BY AKIRA KUROSAWA AND JOHN WATERS.

Television:

DAILY SHOW; COLBERT REPORT; SOUTH PARK; FAMILY GUY; PROJECT RUNWAY.

Books:

AUTHORS: ITALO CALVINO, JORGE LOUIS BORGES, ROBERT CREELEY, ANNE SEXTON, AYN RAND, DANTE, T.S. ELIOT, DOSTOEVSKI, DONALD BARTHELME, FRANZ KAFKA, VACLAV HAVEL, OSAMU DAZAI, RYONOSUKE AKUTAGAWA, MURASAKI SHIKIBU, SAKI, RICHARD BRAUTIGHAN, ANTONIN ARTAUD; SAM HARRIS, CAMUS, LACAN, WITTGENSTEIN, NIETZSCHE,

Heroes:

MY ENEMIES, CRITICS, AND DETRACTORS. THE VARIOUS LEAGUES, SOCIETIES, AND COLLECTIVES WHICH HAVE FORMED IN AN ATTEMPT TO BRING ABOUT MY DEMISE.