Who am I? Now thats a tough question I mean I thought I knew myself, but I really didnt. I thought everything was going for me, I though life couldnt get any better I was in love I was happy. Then I got pregnant, and the man I loved left me all alone. The love I had for that certain person apparently was never and would never be enough. Little by little, slowly but surely I started to rise up and build myself once again. I gave birth to the loveliest daughter on earth she gave me and my family so much joy. I felt whole again. Suddenly life had a whole different meaning, life for me had a new purpose. Once again I was happy. Despite all the trials and tribulations that had come my way, I realized that there was still room for me to succeed in life.I thought that I had finally met the cross-roads in my life, I thought that life starting now would go on a steady sail. I appreciated my family more, I had learned to live with them in such a way I hadnt done so before. For the first time in my life, I enjoyed spending time with my family, and it meant a whole lot.Then my mother was murdered, she was taken from us in the most tragic way. Now I dont know what to do where to start what to think. Ive been so sad the past few days. The fear and concern of my familys safety runs through my everyday thoughts. Sometimes I just want to give up and surrender. I ask God why all these things have to happen but then I stop asking, and just continue doing. A certain priest once told me that it is not for us to question why God does certain things, or why God brings upon tragedy to one yet spares the other. For Gods ways are not our ways. Our intellect is limited, and never in our life time can we ever come to understand why certain things happen to us.I dont want to be angry anymore, I just want to learn how to love again, by starting to learn to love myself then by learning that, Ill learn to love others.
I know I have a long way to go, and I have yet to learn to forgive others even if they have not made any effort to be shown forgiveness. Ive learned that life is so short and uncertain. One day youre alive and the next your dead. So Ive learned to live as if today were your last. I cant promise that I wont make mistakes, I wont promise I wont fail Im human, and were all bound to commit mistakes one way or the other. One thing I can promise is that Ill strive to be the best I can be in everything I do!
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