I'm South African , but moved to England one year ago.
As you're all aware, i'd like to begin this cereomony by confirming this and this alone: birds suck.
If your name is Milton, read no further. If you attempt to drown puppies on a regular occasion *cough, Milton cough* then read no further.
Although i now live in england * cough, gollywog, cough* i would like to take this time out to prove that i'm south african with the following sentences: " Jy girrrrlie with the hair.Lammin in die kaap weet jy. Girlie that make my toes go curly." Point proven. Moving along:
Only the average bird can qualify to be a true swingball pro, that is life. Mad Crazy, i know, but not Super Krunk. I love avoiding near death on the back of stolen scooters. Thats my thing. If you have not smoked in the backgarden of a random or taken a ride wth a 27 down gie road, you have not yet lived. Cheers to the new years with purple drink, straight with ice *cough, phlem, cough*. If you'e had conversations with heath ledger, you need not apply, you're a member. Hawaiian in the bath. Thats the life, yes. Make best friends with cape crooners that serenade you. Tell the group of darker individuals on the beach that you are indeed 32 when they question your age. Do it, they'll believe you, don't worrry. Creaton every once in awhile, it's the best way to lose your socks, garenteed. Start the party with your version of ice ice baby, rehearsed an appriopriate amount of times. Steal guest room soap, it's the best kind. But only one, no need to spoil yourself. Spider Hair Boy, not enough to go around i'm afraid. Call that clone Katlin, see how it reacts. Watch it go. It's tall, god dam. Be glad you've seen the original Red, its a priviledge thats worth its weight in gold. Midnight rap battles over mxit. Treelife was an exclusive membership, only the fine diners made it in.
That is all.
** For those of you who do not understand, I feel no
need to translate. Be on your way.
My Favourite Band's & Comedy