THE ASS VIKING profile picture

THE ASS VIKING

Stealing Asses near you.......

About Me

My name is Bob and this is my life story: I live, I breathe, and eventually I'll die. I am madly in love with a girl, who I never want to lose again. I love music, and I love playing music. I play bass and guitar. I play bass in a new band called Gertrude and the Ghost. Watch out for us for we are kick ass. I wanna be a writer when I'm older. I work at Burger King. That's all you need to know. .. width="425" height="350" .. Bob --
[noun]:

A beat poet working the streets

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My Interests

I like long walks on the beach naked with my lucky sparrow, Phillis, in one hand and my trusty shovel, John, in the other. I like the way it feels when the waves crash and give me blue balls, and I like the feel of sand in my asshole. OR MAYBE, I'm a normal kid, I like music (playing and listening), my AMAZING girlfriend, and reading or writing. You decide.

I'd like to meet:

Tom Robbins

Chuck Palahniuk

Claudio Sanchez and the rest of Coheed & Cambria.

Casey Crescenzo... AGAIN

Music:


Top 5 Bands

1. The Receiving End of Sirens or the Dear Hunter

2. the loser of that battle

3. The Mars Volta

4. mewithoutYou

5. Thrice

Radiohead
At the Drive-In
Jack Johnson
Circa Survive
Saosin
Anything with Anthony Green
He is Legend
Brazil
Brand New
3
The Prize Fighter Inferno
Finch
Gatsbys American Dream
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Pink Floyd
Victor Wooten
A Perfect Circle
Tool
The Police
RX Bandits
Goldfinger
The Used
Senses Fail
A Static Lullaby
Silverstein

Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Vendetta Red
Underoath
Yovee
Rufio
Sting
Primus
Motion City Soundtrack
AFI
We're All Broken
Billy Talent
Bear Vs. Shark
Coheed & Cambria

Movies:

I3 HUCKABEE'S and GARDEN STATE=my two favorite movies, Shaun of the Dead,Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, LOTR, Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick, Office Space, The Shining, Misery, Elf, Kicking and Screaming, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Saw, Office Space, The Big Lebowski, The Stewie Griffin Untold Story, Queen of the Damned, Interview With the Vampire, Rock Star, Collateral, The Crow 1-4(even though 1 is the only good one), Billy Madison, Eight Crazy Nights, Austin Powers 1-3, Big Fish, Clerks, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Land of the Dead, Batman Beyond, The Weather Man, Fight Club... and God the list is literally endless.

Television:

Angel, Law and Order, and Medium

Books:

The Dark Tower Series, Any of Stephen King's other books, Haunted, Choke, any of Chuck Palahniuks other books, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Phineas Poe, Memnoch the Devil, the Sembia Series, The Cleric Quintet, that other FR trilogy I read, lol, um, The Giver, Jesus' Son, HOUSE OF LEAVES... yeah... A LOT of books

Heroes:

Adam Matthew Raymonda for always being there for me, Stephen King for writing books that changed my style, Claudio Sanchez for having a better voice than me, Chuck Palahniuk for being the man I hope to become, Tom Robbins for being one fucked up philosopher, and Casey Crescenzo for being the man at everything he does and taking the time to listen to me rant. Of course, Leanne Marie Waterbury for turning my life around and keeping me in line, and we can't forget, toilet-seat Joe *below*

My Blog

Her Voice was 'Lie' Part 2

The Voice of Her Mother:  13              After she woke up she decided to go through her father's things and all she found were empty syring...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 07:20:00 PST

A story in 5 pages

The Grandfather Clock Affair The Irony of the old man's words didn't exactly surprise you as much as annoy you, but you don't tell anyone about this; because you are too busy dying.  You are dyi...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:37:00 PST

In the airport leaving behind the family I'd made...

And now for 2 months later...   So today I had my reuinion with my P2P people, and it was freaky as shit.  It's so weird that routine can be so easilly made and broken.  You never reall...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 01:55:00 PST

His Name was Truth Part Two

The Voice of His Father:  9 Verdad was never one for the theater, watching the porn in a group of bi-curious teenagers and perverted adults, but the movies did turn him on.  The kinky s...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 09:59:00 PST

Her Name Was 'Lie'

The Voice of Her Mother:  4              She smoked 14 cigarettes a day, and drank twice as many cans of beer.  The girl was what you co...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 06:49:00 PST

His Name was Truth

The Voice of His Father:  1              Verdad Hablado was a man not unlike any other.  He put his pants on one leg at a time, and took...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 08:33:00 PST

This is for my friends from P2P

"People to People to People to People" Today I got off the plane thinking of times we had,Here in my head, it is always sad, when I promised,Everything in me would please everything in you, forever, M...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 09:53:00 PST

AHHHHHHHHHHH! Real Monsters.

"A Promise is a Promise is a Promise, But it Isn't My Promise" Seven years is a long time alive, But it doesn't matter when you die, A childhood vow is broken for now, Because I'm never so famous as....
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 04:13:00 PST

Leanne=Love

Let's dance upon clouds in hopes of never finding tomorrow, When the sun is risen and the clouds are free to roam, I will find you sitting there waiting for me, And our tapping toes will let the ra...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 07:44:00 PST

"The Motorcycle Sits Smooth Beneath the Lemon Tree"

This oncoming shadow emits,It's soft pleasure into my heart,I wander lost, inside my own mind,Torn between the memories&And the hopes for tomorrow,Captain guide me, through these caves,These valves i...
Posted by THE ASS VIKING on Mon, 27 Mar 2006 06:26:00 PST