Ashes

I am ASHES.
Tonight we close our eyes.. worlds apart.. and sleep soundly.
Peaceful knowing that our dreams will stay where they belong.. In our minds.
†
What to say? I like clutter. I have a twisted appreciation of fashion and dancing. I have a complex taste in music. Although my body is currently a clear canvas.. I have a slight obsession with body art. I do read.. and I LOVE to write. Videogames can be cool. Movies are great. I like to go for long walks, but not necessairly on the beach :) I live for in-depth conversations and random adventures. I am spontaneous when I can be, but I have a conscience from hell that often limits me. I sing at completley random times. I find it overly amusing to point out awkward silences. I laugh at things that aren't funny. I say stupid things, and I love sarcasm. I like stuff. I hate things. I laugh.. I love.. and I live. Welcome to me.
The many meanings of "I Love You" "I love you" [is] a statement that can be expressed in so many varied ways. It may be a stage song, repeated daily without any meaning, or a barely audible murmur, full of surrender. Sometimes it means: I desire you or I want you sexually. It may mean: I hope you love me or I hope that I will be able to love you. Often it means: it may be that a love relationship can develop between us or even I hate you. Often it is a wish for emotional exchange: I want your admiration in exchange for mine or I give my love in exchange for some passion or I want to feel cozy and at home with you or I admire some of your qualities. A declaration of love is mostly a request: I desire you or I want you to gratify me, or I want your protection or I want to be intimate with you or I want to exploit your loveliness. Sometimes it is the need for security and tenderness, for parental treatment. It may mean: my self love goes out to you. But it may also express submissiveness: please take me as I am, or I feel guilty about you, I want, through you, to correct the mistakes I have made in human relations. It may be self-sacrifice and a masochistic wish for dependency. However, it may also be a full affirmation of the other, taking the responsibility for mutual exchange of feelings. It may be a weak feeling of friendliness, it may be the scarcely even whispered expression of ecstasy "I love you, " - wish, desire, submission, conquest: it is never the world itself that tells the real meaning here.
-Joost A. M. Meerloo
†
Sear me child, let this pain set me free again
With broken promise, never know what this life could bring
And the time spent alone sorting alone through emotions
Is a blessing that I know I cannot repay
Revel in my loss
-Shadows Fall