the wolfman's brother

hmm... where do i begin? well, let's see. my name is christian andrew collard and i was born on the 27th day of september in 1983 at women and infants hospital in providence, ri. a few days later, i returned home to greenville, ri where i have been for 98% of my days since then. i lived on one side of town until the summer of '89 and then moved before 2nd grade to where i currently call home. in 1990, my parents decided to invest in some real estate in jackson, nh. for as long as i can remember, we'd take vacations to various places in northern new england (maine, vermont, new hampshire) and when the right place came along, my parents made the move and bought it. we'd go up alot on school vacations and in the winter i would go skiing at attitash/bear peak or cranmore. we'd also go on daytrips to various parks and natural attractions. this is where i developed my love for nature, no doubt. it was fun, but it would've been more enjoyable if i had someone my own age to go with me or something. my parents didn't suck then as much as they do now, but it could've been more fun with others my own age. although, i do enjoy my alone time.
i've never been what you'd call a "social butterfly," so i managed to attract only a few friends in my schoolboy days. of those few friends, even fewer remain. this is as a result of going off to college, certain people maintaining shitty opposite-sex relationships, one who's complete batshit craziness is really of no shock to me, and others partly because of my sports career ending and my artistic/musical interests taking root. things just fall apart. such is life. a few of those friends i'd like to reconvene with somewhere down the line, but who knows, right?

i've never been one to take humongous risks. i had always dressed rather conservatively and was pretty clean-cut. this changed for 2 reasons, mostly: wanting to be comfortable and finally being able to grow facial hair. my current wardrobe has been pretty much consistent from 2000-present day. tiedye/music shirt, jeans/cargo pants/shorts, sandals/sneakers, and a hemp necklace. peppers and burger king onion rings give me heartburn, but i continue to eat them. coffee gives me heartburn, too, but i do not bother torturing myself to drink it. i prefer tea. specifially mango mist tea from tealuxe or some spiced chai. I always drive no faster than 5-7 miles over the speed limit. i don't drink and drive.

my political and religious views have taken shape rather recently. i was raised catholic, went to weekly mass, and attended catechism right up through confirmation. my uncle is a priest and both my parents were raised catholic, so i had no choice, really. it was more or less force-fed to me. i didn't know any better, but i always did question parts of it and never enjoyed or fully embraced the traditions. i don't consider myself to be a member of any religion right now, and i don't foresee any affiliation being formed any time soon. as far as politics go, i am a registered member of the libertarian party. i enjoy watching both the daily show with jon stewart and the colbert report. the comedy practically writes itself, which is concerning because our government should not be so easy to mock. i don't see that changing until at least bush is out of office, probably not until way after.
my appreciation for the music i love today probably stems from the days of listening to oldies on b101 and from my mom's record collection which included everything from billy joel and crosby stills and nash to kool & the gang and the carpenters. somehow i fell off the wagon and started listening to music like korn and monster magnet (not like there's anything wrong with the novelty of music like that, but it's just not for me). luckily, a semi-divine intervention took place, which i can attribute to the widespread use of the internet as a forum for music. i bought a pair of tickets to what would be one of the most memorable and formative musical experiences of my life: my first phish concert on december 13, 2001. this show (which i attended with my father who slept through most of the second set) would go on to encourage my downloading of various bands and sparked my interest in the idea of attending as many live shows as i could afford. since then, i've been to probably over 400 concerts. i wish i kept a record of all of them. i have maintained an extensive collection of stubs and fliers which will one day be put on display at my residence.
this is a long work in progress. to be continued...
song of the moment: string cheese incident's 'sometimes a river'
i was cleaning the ash from the fire
and putting the party away
helping out all of my lost friends
to see the light of day
i was feeling the wind through the windows
sometimes it crashed through the wall
seems like it comes out of nowhere
there's no warning at all
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs dry
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs high
i was making my way through a movie
finding it hard to decide
sometimes it hits without warning
and turns me over inside
making a stab in the darkness
wearing a hole in the floor
suddenly everything changes
you're not the same as before
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs dry
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs high
you danced in my dream in a white dress
i watched from the top of the stairs
i woke up looking to find you
but you were not there
17 hours of driving
but that's not a surprise
the world's all heavy with traffic
we never were good at goodbyes
no we never were good at goodbyes
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs dry
sometimes a river
sometimes a river
runs high
YOU'D BETTER WATCH THIS FUCKING VIDEO IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR YOU!!!