While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
With a rubber duck, you're never alone.
If it vibrates, even better.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
I drink to make other people interesting.
If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it right.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Except for 75% of women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex. But my sex drive makes up the difference.
Dawn is nature's way of telling you to go to bed.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. But the calories from indulging in the fattening can usually be burned off by participating in the immoral if you do it right.
the one person who really knows me best
says i'm like a cat
yeah the kind of cat that you just can't pick up
and throw into your lap
no, the kind that doesn't mind being held
only when its her idea
yeah, the kind that feels what she decides to feel
when she is good and ready to feel it
and now i am prowling through the backyard
and i am hiding under the car
i've gotten out of everything
i've gotten into so far
i eat when i am hungry
and i travel alone
and just outside the glow of the house
is where i feel most at home
when deciding between 2 evils, i choose the one that will get me spanked the quickest
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