The Fauxtographer profile picture

The Fauxtographer

'www.ILYAXOUS.com?' What is that, a domain name you bought at IKEA?

About Me

For more than a few months now I’ve been in the throes of an identity crisis. Perhaps the best demonstration of this is that I now carry two very different business cards in my wallet; one is for Ilyaxous FC and the other is for the Benzie Community Drop-In Center . The first is the photography company that I have operated for nearly a decade now, and the latter is for my day-job as the director of a little social work agency in Northern Michigan. You see, herein lays my inner dichotomy; for most of my adult life I have worked in the turbulent and rarified artistic professions. When I first left UofM I was in Hollywood making movies and as I slowly moved into creating still images, I began to define myself through my photography (or Faux-tography for those of you who appreciate a bit of self-deprecating wordplay). I did well with it, and today I’m no longer raking in the money I once did, but I am still improving my art and craft with nearly every shoot. For this, it was not too long ago that when someone asked what I did for a living, my response was that I was a photographer. Now I have this other job, quite possibly my first 9-5er, and I can no longer just immediately state that photography is the sum-total of professional life. I would have no problem if my weekday routine included accounting or construction or some other sort of wage-slave endeavor that I didn’t care about. I could say “photographer and…..” But it’s not so easy because I really do like being a “social worker.” There are times (admittedly not common enough) when I look over at someone at the Drop-In and watch them making connections with another person or trying something new, or basically just enriching their life in a way that was not previously possible. That’s when it feels really good, and I get the sense that I may actually be improving the lives of some fellow human beings. To me, that is deeply validating So now I get an inner turmoil bubbling up when I am first asked the simple question, “so what is it you do…” I get paid for both being an agency director and a self-employed photographer, both are a part of me and how I spend my waking hours. When I begin to stammer though a most basic of questions, people must truly think me an imbecile. So if you write me on here, just be sure to address your note to either the guy you want to make photographs with, or the one who will lend an ear in your time of need. It’ll save me the angst of trying to figure out which business card I should pull from my wallet.

My Interests

balancing the terror of living against the ecstasy of being alive.

I'd like to meet:

For Monday through Thursday 9am-5pm:

The mentally ill of Benzie County

From Friday through Sunday and 5:01pm to 8:59am Monday through Thursday:

People of African, Asian or Hispanic decent who would like to pose for my camera.

Also,

two gay men who are ok being photographed together in the buff.

Music:



A while ago got my meathooks on the EMI re-mastering of the 1954 La Scala performance of Bellini’s "Norma" staring the incomparable Maria Callas. She is why god gave us ears and yet the devil took Callas to sing for him. It’s breathtaking to hear a human voice impart such unmitigated passion so as to find a fissure of gentleness in the most wooden heart. She did not have a voice that was technically all that exceptional (listen to Montserrat Cabelle sing the same opera and you’ll see what I mean) but when Norma sings of her doomed love for the Roman soldier, Orpheus himself must have put down his lyre for pure despair.

More recently, I’ve developed quite the little crush on Anna Netrebko. Yet despite all my adoration, I just have the sinking feeling that she doesn’t even know who I am. :-(

Besides Opera, iTunes says i really like Manu Chao and Miles Davis a lot.

Movies:


I have to say my favorite movie is Showgirls. In 1995 this horrendous piece of celluloid excrement hit movie screens across America, where it was rightfully dubbed the “Softcore Ishtar.” This movie was awful in every possible way, I mean, when I was 19 I didn’t think it was possible to have a fully nude lesbian sex scene be boring… but apparently it was. The acting was abysmal, the direction was shameful, the editing was laughable, the writing was painful, the cinematography was hideous, even the soundtrack was bad.
For this movie, MGM/UA gave the director Paul Verhoeven $45 million after all the overbudget expenses; of which it recouped around $20 mil (though from where I have no idea). Even as a “Cult Hit” it flopped.
But why I love it so is because it directly refutes F. Scott Fitzgerald by proving that in America there are indeed second acts in some people’s lives.
A matter of months after laying this turd called Showgirls, the Director Paul Verhoeven was given twice the budget (nearly one hundred million dollars) to produce a film about giant, man eating insects and the young buxom plastic-looking white people who battle them. Yep, Starship Troopers, the film that broke all box office records in 1997 is by the same guy.
Showgirls teaches me that no matter how bad you fuck-up, you can always get another chance, and that life goes on.
Besides Showgirls i like "the French New Wave" to "the New German Cinema" and everything in between.

Books:



It’s been so long since I’ve updated this part that I wonder how many of you now wonder if I am, in actuality, functionally illiterate. Well here’s what I remember reading in the interim.

America: the Book by John Stewart - I found it somewhat amusing, but I read the entire thing sitting on the can, so what isn’t moderately interesting in that situation?

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini - A well crafted book, not really a challenge, and the characters are very compelling. But it does have the conceit of so many contemporary stories that I have come to really find it repelling in a story. That of a singular life-altering event that a person remembers and is fucked up by for the rest of their life (think Sweeny Todd or Batman). That’s just not how my life is, changes that cut down to my core are weeks/months/years in the making. Most everything else I can get over, or at least deal with and have my central character remain intact (think Citizen Kane or better yet, A Clockwork Orange). It kind of reminds me of the cyclical model of evolution’s fits and starts as proposed by Steven J Gould usurping the classical conception of evolution as a plodding, gradual endeavor. O.K. that might be a bit of an esoteric reference, but I see this as a [somewhat erroneous] leitmotif in our era.

Taking Care: A Guide for Nursing Assistants. [2nd ed.] by Christina Spencer.- Aside from being written at the fourth grade reading level, what strikes me about this text is that throughout the book the only illustration of a Male nurse is next to the paragraph describing the sexual abuse of patients by health care workers.

The Dark Tower II: The Drawing Of The Three By Stephen King- Alright, King gets a bad rap. Carrie, Cujo and the others were kinda dumb, but I tell you, that author has a way of description and building characters that is downright inspired. I like this book a lot, it’s creative and compelling; great for the beach. Oh, I also read a few of his short stories in the last few months.

I am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolf - Ugh, I couldn’t make it through A Man in Full, so why do I keep buying the hype that Wolf is a good author? Charlotte was bland and boring and absolutely impossible for me to finish. I mean, really, my cat has a better understanding of contemporary college life, and I am not nearly offended by the description of teen sex that seemed to get everyone else all in a snit.

Chain Of Command by Seymour M. Hersh - Sadly, it seems the only people who read this sort of researched, journalistic, non-fiction book are those who already have some grasp what the hell is going on. So a book like this is not “Speaking truth to power” it’s “preaching to the Choir.” Thusly you may disregard anything I have said as the prattle of a liberal elitist.

The Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandella - eh, it was fine.

The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell - eh, it was fine too.

Rameau’s Nephew by Diderot - oh, I’m bored with typing, so let’s just say I’ve read a few other things and I’ll critique them some other time.

Heroes:



The people whom i truly envy are those who can write quickly. It’s a skill i lack profoundly. As i get older and further away from college work, the worse i become. Every sentence and each word become laboured until the whole piece gets bogged down. People i know can churn it out then polish it all in one revision. They are my heros and whom i aspire to be one day (or at least hire).

My Blog

CXVII

Not that anyone has asked me, but i think Hillary Clinton would make one damn fine Supreme Court appointee. Unless the president is an utter nincompoop, and the VP is actually named 'Dick,' the role o...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:50:00 PST

CXVI

My eye colour is getting lighter as i grow older. Seriously.For those of you who think i'm nuts: When i was in college, they were like dark chestnuts. Now they are totally hazelnut.
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:24:00 PST

CXV

What a terrible shame it is that sometimes it takes the death of a beautiful thing to hold it in your hands.
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:08:00 PST

CXIV

So when in Nürnberg I (of course) go to the Germanisches Nationalmuseum. It's an immense compound of buildings with meandering and confusing wings devoted to things like 19th century musical instrumen...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:29:00 PST

CXIII

I think a piñata filled with maple syrup would be hilarious.
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 06:10:00 PST

CXI

Last night I vividly dreamt of having hardcore, raunchy sex with Mahatma Gandhi. Does that make me gay?
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:21:00 PST

CX

So this weekend, in Traverse City, there was another fireworks show over the West Bay. It was big, loud and awesome; there are probably still dogs all over Grand Traverse County shivering. Well I was ...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:19:00 PST

CIX

So now it can be documented; I am capable of spitting the pit of a cherry 48ft, 11inches (14.91meters). Though, dang-nabbit it is still not far enough for me to get a trophy.I've been in training for ...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:42:00 PST

CVIII

There are so few things that pique my arousal more than when an attractive woman uses the phrase "Hot Beef Stroganoff." "yes.Say it in your mind right now; let it roll off your proverbial tongue&.is n...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Thu, 24 May 2007 09:58:00 PST

CVII

How was i supposed to to know that it's considered completely uncouth to ask how much extra it is for a "happy ending" to a pedicure? regardless of her reluctance to offer the "complete relaxation" pa...
Posted by The Fauxtographer on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:28:00 PST