Patrick profile picture

Patrick

I used to have a social life once but it died.

About Me

Here is about all you could want to know about me and a lot of stuff you really wouldn't methinks.......When I was about 13 I had some lucky pants that I didn't change for 6 weeks. I have officially been "On the Run". My wookie impression is impressive. I've eaten locust , grubs and a little bit of Scorpion. I also once drank a little bit of my own urine as a child in an effort to join a gang of bigger boys...they reneged on the deal and I learnt a valuble life lesson. Some of my favourite smells include freshly cut grass , the hum of stale alcohol and cigarettes you get when walking past a pub and petrol stations in the summertime. I have thrown myself from a moving train. I have scars from throwing myself off a moving train. I once had the traumatic experience of having my finger stuck in my ear for about an hour.I have an irrational and intense hatred of caricature drawings where people are portayed with extra large heads...they make me so angry!!!! Even just thinking about them makes me angry!! I'M SO ANGRY NOW!!!! I have played badminton on the trecherous higher slopes of Mount Etna in a blizzard as well as in the middle of the street in Bangkok wearing just Speedo's. The police were called and our match abandoned. I have a strange tendancy to fill awkward silences in conversations with the incredibly profound "I dunno it's weird"...I've been doing it for years.I'm a passionate fan of robot voices and handclaps in music (clap clap) . Sticking with robots for the moment, I love the fact that robots are almost always compelled to say to you " I am a robot "..."Well thanks for that I wouldn't have never of guessed you funny shiny man " .I have never actually met a robot but I'm working on it. I once met Tony Blair and he called me "Man". Apparently , according to friends independent of each other , I have a doppelganger who has been spotted on several occasions.It is my opinion that spiders are satans ambassadors on earth.They are pure evil chaos on legs and no one will convince me otherwise. I have flown an aeroplane under controlled conditions. I hate getting bad haircuts but they seem to like getting me.When I die my wish is that my naked corpse be catapaulted from a ship into the ocean...either that or cremation. It has been brought to my attention recently that I am unable to say the word "little" correctly....I dispute this. One ambition that I have in life ( that I realise will be almost impossible to fulfill )is to travel back in time to the mid-sixties with my MP3 player ,meet with The Beatles and play them music from the past 40 years and see what the hell they make of it. I am related to a real gang of cowboys called " The Dalton Gang" ( look them up...they were RUBBISH).

My Interests

The occult , wine , high adventure ,advanced maths , life and it's many joys , talking crap at great length , singing loud in the shower, prancing about the house when no one is in, George Formby , George Foreman , Curious George , George IV , The Ardeche Gorge , picking strange bits of paper off the floor and then keeping them in a file (no really) , White Russians (The drink. I don't discriminate),very tall buildings , taking silly amounts of photos ,watermelon, New York City , drinking ,writing, shouting , badminton , goodminton , travel , scrabble and travel scrabble.

I'd like to meet:

Myself down a dark alley.

Music:

In no particular order........Electro , 50's rock n' roll , DEVO , Hi- NRG , The Smiths , Johnny Cash , Early Bob Marley , Sylvester , Sparks , Dead Kennedys , You Say Party! We Say Die! , I have an abnormally large collection of one hit wonders on various formats, Joy Division , Graham Coxon , Smog , The Knife , Anything that makes me scream and want to throw beer at myself ,The Organ, Hot Chip, Sam Cooke , DAFT PUNK , Paul Simon , Yeah Yeah Yeahs , Beatles , DEVO , Stones , 2manyDJ's , The Glimmers , Phillip Glass , New Wave , DAFT PUNK , foppish music that I can loll about and feel sorry for myself over, bum house, Nerdcore , Cock Rock , Venga , Billy Childish , Nirvana , Cisco Houston singing the songs of Woody Guthrie , Franz , Arcade Fire , Nick Drake , Kraftwerk , Louis Prima , LCD Soundsystem ,Choc Squad , Pixies ,Wu Tang , Blondie, White Stripes , Le Tigre, Old Hammond Organ LP's played at "45 , DAFT PUNK , DEVO, Supergrass , Felix Da Housecat , Grime ,Polysics, Old Ska ,Whitey , Boards of Canada , DAFT PUNK , Charles Trenet , and lately Elliot Smith.... blah blah blah there is too too much to even remember.

Movies:

Nuts in May , Star Wars , Whistle and I'll come to you , Revenge of the Nerds , The Shining ("How's my credit Lloyd?" , Zoolander , Sin City , Fight Club ,The Warriors ("come out and play-ee-ayyy") Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ("fucking pigs!") , Back to the Future ( "one point twenty-one gigawatts!!" , When Harry Met Sally ( a guilty pleasure )Trading Places , Ferris Buellers Day Off ("Pardon my french Rooney but you're an asshole!") , The Wicker Man , Some Like it Hot , Lawrence of Arabia , Dazed and Confused , Indiana Jones Trilogy , Ghostbusters ("Okay who brought the dog?") , Donnie Darko ....too many to mention really.

Television:

Peep Show, The Simpsons , The Mighty Boosh, Lost , Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm , Old Doctor Who , Twin Peaks , Decent Documentries , Seinfeld , Country File , Prison Break , Quantum Leap , Eerie Indiana.

Books:

Slapstick , Slaughterhouse 5 , Catcher in the Rye , On the Road , The Dharma Bums , Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas , Naked , Travel Guide Books.

Heroes:

Kurt Vonnegut , John Logie Baird and Spiderman (He's super).