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Jack

About Me


Try the BEST MySpace Editor and MySpace Backgrounds at MySpace Toolbox !My name is Jack. My batting average is 168. I climbed everest, with a blindfold on. I spend my spare time helping old ladies cross roads. My deft touch for floral artistry has earnt me many accolades, worldwide. My phone number is 1. I hate mushrooms, but I live with it. I made my way to the earth's core, with a shovel. I built my own university, and graduated. I can understand deaf people. I once beat Jesus at a game of billiards. My indie garage rock band has a saturday night residency at Rod Laver Arena. I can ice-skate on gravel. My biceps are the size of an adolescent panda. I wrote the book of love. I fathered all 4 beatles, and Yoko. I have a butt crack that is easy on the eyes. I am known in Belgium only as 'The Shadow'. I am modest. I have clocked every playstation game ever made, on hard. I don't fart. The intricate design of my origami paper cranes has them often mistaken for real cranes. I have recieved fellatio from the Queen. I can drink beer through my rectum. I roll cigarettes with $50 dollar notes, I smoke 30 a day. My solo album has sold more that 6 billion copies. I killed the dinosaurs. I ate Lindy Chamberlain's baby, and then the dingo. I snorted a line of speed off Mother Teresa's arse. I get 8 in the footy tipping, every week. In my stint as a truckie, I drove from Sydney to Perth in half an hour. I can beat Rafeal Nadal on clay. I can type 100 words, per second. I can see in 4 dimensions. I beat the Hulk in an arm wrestle. I eat syringes for breakfast. My name is Jack

My Blog

Of Rogue Beers and Civil Unrest. Part One

Oh man, what a night. A human being can only drink so much alcohol, before he or she gets drunk. 'He' did get drunk and it was a glorious occasion, filled with golden vines, carlton draught, semi-as...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 01:49:00 GMT

Memoirs of a scanner. Part Two.

Relations between myself and Fujitsu soon soured.  She would jam more and more frequently, and I began to get quite frustrated at her annoying behaviour.  Dreams of a quiet life in the wilde...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 18:55:00 GMT

Memoirs of a Scanner. Part One.

Before I begin, these next few blogs are to do with my job.  My boring job.  Enjoy.I load tickets into the scanner.  Ticket goes in, ticket comes out, ticket goes in, ticket comes out.&...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 18:43:00 GMT

Acrostic

It is once again time to get the creatice juices flowing as I am thinking about what sort of format on which to write this blog.  After no deliberation what so ever, I have come to the conclusion...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Dec 2005 04:55:00 GMT

Attempt at a continuation of Jack's Day

It is becoming increasingly difficult to continue writing Jack's Day blogs as the actual day I have been blogging about is continuing to venture further and further into the past.  As you can ima...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 23:38:00 GMT

Jack's Day Cont.

Coffee was to be made.  And made it was Coffee.  Upon reviewing my last sentence I was sure that it did not make sense.  But alas, my care factor had reached an all time low.  So, ...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Dec 2005 06:45:00 GMT

Jacks Day

Hello Everyone It seems that the onus has been on me for quite some time to post what is colloquially  known as a 'blog'.  After much deliberation, I decided to finally sit down and take t...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Dec 2005 05:22:00 GMT