Thrifting and going to flea and antique markets, writing, seeing just how much vintage Jesus memorabilia I can cram into my living room, vintage clothing, corset training, dancing when the mood strikes me (when I don't care about making a giant ass of myself), visiting many of the city's prime dive bars but trying not to drink too much (I have a 2 drink limit now), getting out of the city every so often, trying to take advantage of being where the action is - New York City. There are a million things to do here, but that doesn't mean you can always get your shit together to go do them - maybe the train's not running, or you have to work so much to be able to afford to live here that you're just beat. But you do what you can. Summer is great - lots of free things like outdoor movies, bands, etc. Coney Island rules too.
On my rare days off I'm up for adventures and exploration. Sometimes it takes a 'partner in crime' to make you get off your ass, out the door, and out into the world.
I'd like to meet:
Unpretentions people who don't suck. If you think you're god's gift to the world: 1) don't contact me and 2) promptly get over yourself. I'm trying to meet people in my own age group (mid-30s or so) who are young at heart but not immature fucks. True, age is just a number, but I have no desire to relive my twenties, as I couldn't get my head out of my ass and was basically a mess. I live in New York, in the Williamsburg/Greenpoint area of Brooklyn so if you're in my 'hood, let me know. A good sense of humor is a must - I have no tolerance for people without one and sometimes I like to act the fool. I also hate mean people, drunks, and ESPECIALLY mean drunks. Fuck off and leave me alone.
AGAIN, JUST TO MAKE SURE THIS HAS SUNK IN: I DON'T WANT TO DATE ONLINE ANYMORE. GOD KNOWS I CAN COUNT THE NUMBER OF DECENT DATES I'VE HAD FROM THIS SITE ON ONE HAND AND STILL HAVE FINGERS LEFT OVER. I HATE DATING TO BEGIN WITH SO PLEASE DON'T ASK ME OUT. I'M DOING BOTH OF US A FAVOR, TRUST ME. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. I adore British men but are they all lying cheating shitbags? Do they all have girlfriends/wives but are still on the prowl anyway, acting single? What the fuck?
Due to the vast number of retarded messages I've been receiving lately from boys without a clue, it seems we need a bit of a MySpace etiquette lesson.
1. DO NOT message me asking, 'u into younger guys?' That's just stupid.
2. Write in English, please, using full words, proper punctuation, and correct grammar. We are not in the ghetto and you are not Puff Daddy or P Diddy or Puff Diddy or whatever the fuck he is calling himself this week. You just sound moronic!
3. DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES tell me I'm 'hot for my age,' or 'hot for an older woman.' That will never get you any action from ANY woman of ANY age. It's a complete insult, get over yourself and have some respect.
I can't tell you how many stupid messages I don't respond to every day. Grow up and have some class. Also, I actually KNOW most of the people I add as friends, plus people who seem like they have something in common with me. I don't usually add random guys who are just looking for eye candy to add to their page.
Oh, this is RICH! It struck me as so retarded I just had to share it with you: I just received the most lovely message from one of my male admirers. Here it is, verbatim, in its intirety:
'nice tites!'
Now I'm assuming he meant 'nice titTies,' with two T's, refering of course to my chest. And they are nice - they're not huge but they are real and they are cute - they have loads of personality! So thanks, but perhaps you should consider putting down the bong before 'complimenting' the ladies of MySpace and making an ass of yourself in the process.
Who I love: Drag queens, old-school punks, rebels, anarchists, rabble-rousers, motherfuckers with attitude, people my age in my neighborhood (so I don't feel like I'm the only person here between 25 and 65!), writers, publishers, freaks, etc., etc.
I have a really hard time dating, it just always feels like a bad job interview and is usually about as much fun as shopping for school shoes with your mom when you were 6. And I have a tendency to completely freak people out without even meaning to - I'm so fucking good at this, I can even do it online, without ever meeting the person. I think I just forget that these people don't really know me and don't realize that much of the time I'm just trying to amuse myself, being facetious and silly, not to be taken completely seriously. I say what I think, I'm honest to the point of sometimes giving out WAAAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION, and sometimes I just don't give a fuck (which I guess can come across as complete obnoxiousness to people who don't really get it). I'm definitely not dating right now - I've had several huge romantic disasters in the last year and I'm still not over making a total ass of myself. If I ever again start to say "I love you" to some undeserving fuck, I hope an innocent bystander yanks my tongue out and strangles me with it.
Right now I'm at a turning point in my life; I'm trying to figure out my next career move. I really want to do something that involves helping people, I'm just not sure what. I'm not perfect, but I have great sympathy/empathy for and understanding of pain and suffering, and it breaks my heart that just being a human being is so difficult for a lot of people. I've been there; I've been at the very bottom where all you can do is curl up in the fetal position under your bed because there's no way out of the hell you've created for yourself and at that moment it seems easier to just end it all rather than having to crawl all the way back up out of the hole. I've seen a lot and I've done a lot, not all of it turned out the way I wanted it to but you can't live your life full of regret and shame. Not being an asshole is probably the most important thing you can ever do.
Create Your Own!
Music:
'80s punk, 'alternative,' whatever the hell you want to call it. Reminds me of a younger, more carefree, not-yet-legally-able-to-drink-but-that-never-stopped-us time. Smiths, old Cult/Cure, Misfits, DK, Iggy, Ramones, old Ministry, Nirvana (sorry, just never get tired of 'em!), Hole, Velvet Underground. Sometimes rock out to Metallica, sometimes cheese out with Culture Club. I can also sometimes be seen go-going to the Ventures in my living room when no one else is around.
Movies:
200 Cigarettes, earlier John Waters but Hairspray rocks too, Repo Man, Suburbia (both), Breakfast at Tiffany's (CAT! CAAAT!), Sid and Nancy, Desperately Seeking Susan, Sweet and Lowdown, Hannah and her Sisters, This Boy's Life, Intermission, Edward Scissorhands, The Forbidden Zone (saw that up here with Richard Elfman hosting - he was shocked people had even heard of the movie!), Moonstruck (ok, I can be sappy sometimes!), Vulgar, anything about serial killers, Henry and June, Pretty in Pink, Smithereens (just saw that up here at the Coney Island museum - the only decent place in an area that has become one giant stinking ghetto,
Television:
TV is evil but unfortunately I get sucked in sometimes. I make fun of old Friends reruns but I still watch them, and grudgingly admit to being hooked on 'reality' crap like America's Next Top Model and Wife Swap, The Apprentice, and the Food Network. I was so excited when I got to meet Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. I told her about how I made her guacamole recipe for the cookoff at my work and everyone was amazed it was so good because I can't cook at all and she high-fived me and said, 'See? You can cook!' LOVE HER!
I almost peed in my pants the other day when one of the 'Queer Eye' guys came into my work, but he had his cell phone glued to his ear the entire time. My co-worker 'Bob' told me to go downstairs and talk to him, but I decided it was first necessary to do an emergency lipstick touch-up. Puzzled, 'Bob' looked at me and said, 'You don't have to try to look good for him, he's gay!' To which I responded, 'That means I have to look EVEN BETTER!'
Books:
Kerouac, bios of Kerouac, anything having to do with Kerouac. Edie, Please Kill Me, Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung, Confessions of a Dope Dealer, Popism: the Warhol '60s, John Waters' Crackpot and Shock Value, John Willie's Bizarre reprints, Henry Miller, Maya Angelou, Anais Nin, other people's MySpace blogs.
Heroes:
Jack Kerouac, Edie Sedgwick, Courtney Love ca. 1994, my parents, people who give a shit about other people, the guy who decided to cut up a potato into really thin slices and deep fry it, people who aren't afraid of or weirded out by me. C'mon, I won't bite and I'm housebroken!
