Paul profile picture

Paul

KHAAAAAANNN!!!

About Me

I'm Portugese, and I can speak three languages. Living in Texas for a year intensified my hatred for The South. I like to travel, I've been to 14 countries. Most of which were in Europe or "The old country", but I've also been to Asia. I have crippling ADD, bad hearing, and a big head (it's enormous). I love making shitty movies with my video camera, but they usually never get finished. That might have something to do with unmotivated shitheads, but that's still under investigation. I'm planning a transfer to a real film school very soon. I believe work is for chumps, and that natural disasters, and mass murder are good for the economy. I also put out on the first date.

My Interests

I'm intrested in beating the shit out of that little she-male known as Andy Milonakis. I'm a big fan of'Chinglish' a good example is this slippery when wet sign I saw in Hong Kong "To Take Notice of Safe; The Slippery are Very Crafty". I'm also intrested in showing up to a South Pacific island posing as a messianic figure to one of those cargo cults. Finally getting that date Maz promised me. Troma movies, Shittily recorded music from the late 6o's, Rachel Dratch's big beautiful breasts, Making movies that never get finished, Travel, Smoking, Bad Grammer, STDS, Killing all the humans, Astronomy, Disneyland, Mountain Dew, Rockstar Energy Drinks, music from today that sounds like it was shitily recorded in the late 60's, The Turbo Grafix-16, A regime change against the Bush-Cheney Military Junta, The Chogi Civilization, Masturbating to pictures of dead kittens on fire, Unfiltered Cuban Ciggarettes, Soviet Art, Being the only straight David Bowie fan, My Soviet made 78 rpm hand cranked victrola, Gelattos from my uncle's pizza parlour, The San Diego Comic-Con, East Coast dialect and Slang "wicked-awesome", Storming the post office and declaring Hanford it's own country,Buying an island up in Canada for 40K and declaring that it's own country. Midget Strippers, Fidel Castro, String-Theory, Prague, The Internet (My tv viewing choices are slim), Lost Lon Chaney films, getting rid of my tatoo, India, Kurry, Bali, Eating lobster, Riding everything at Magic Mountain then puking,I also collect books, I have several first printings by Ed Gorey, a first printing of 1984 by George Orwell and an original paperback by the unknown Kilgore Trout.Oh yeah and I used to like New York City but last time I went it reeked of piss, I also like Star Trek, Screaming at Neo-Con bastards like my dad, Mike Allred's flat pop art, Bill Viola's flat video art, and Paris Hilton's flat chest.

I'd like to meet:

No more of you creepy internet folk, Seriously I'm thinking of getting a restraining order on some of you psychos.

Television:

Arrested Development, California's Gold with Huell Howser (I met him TWICE), The New Battlestar Galactica, LOST, The Colbert Report (he's a god), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Star-Trek:TOS, Nova, Frontline, TV Funhouse, The State, and wild life documentries on APES, and that's about it. If i had one of those kick ass cable connections Id still watch the programs listed up above, Huell Howser is fucking hillarious to laugh at.

My Blog

In Case You Didnt Reed My Bulletin

I want everyone on my friends list to send me a postcard of the tackiest, kitchiest, tourist attraction in your town.
Posted by Paul on Fri, 25 May 2007 09:49:00 PST

More School Stuff

I got accepted for transfer to yet another school, only this one is even more expensive than the last. A Cal State and a UC so far, okay if my Harvard App goes through, then i dont care how much ill h...
Posted by Paul on Tue, 22 May 2007 07:32:00 PST

This Whole Rat Thing Is Getting Old

I got a cat, and yet Im still finding tiny vermin turds in the bathroom. Geraldo is getting fired in a week. 
Posted by Paul on Sun, 20 May 2007 01:36:00 PST

Some Myspace Video

Theres a myspace video that eerily resmebles a movie I made a few years ago, its about the ET carts, here's a link to my blog i posted about it. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.vie...
Posted by Paul on Thu, 10 May 2007 07:26:00 PST

Who Wants To Survive The Apocalypse???

My plan is to set up a non profit org that serves to ensure survival in case of a apocalytpic event. Let's face it with Global Warming, Nuclear War, Zombie Outbreaks, and A Bush in the White House, no...
Posted by Paul on Tue, 08 May 2007 01:41:00 PST

Virginia Tech Massacre As Headlined by the Onion

"Harold Slays Kumar, White Castle Tragedy In Virgina"Why havent they done that yet!?!?!?!?! K I came up with that a while back and my net is finally working so I just had to post it.
Posted by Paul on Tue, 01 May 2007 09:10:00 PST

Scholastic Update

"Special recognition is granted to top scholars each semester. The President of the college acknowledges, on the Deans' List, those students who attain both a cumulative and a semester grade point ave...
Posted by Paul on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 07:38:00 PST

Kurt Vonnegut Dead (Ting A Ling A Ling A Ling)

He was my dad's English professor in Boston during the 70's, I have read all of his fiction novels, almost all of his short story compilations, and i even have Venus on the Half Shell in paperback. Go...
Posted by Paul on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 07:41:00 PST

O Album Das Minhas Feiras (Portugese Class Report)

Eu fui o Universal Studis em Hollywood Eu Gasteii Muito DinheiroEu fui em carro con mio amoradaEu Rodei Um Barquo em Jurassic Parquee, eu vi o monstro King KongEle e bem grandee, eu pesceii O este hom...
Posted by Paul on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 10:14:00 PST

You'll Never Guess What I Did Today

Today on the Universal Stuidos Tram tour I had to piss really bad, I had drank a Rockstar a few hours before and the entire 16 ozs was sceraming to get out. I couldnt take it anymore, and looked aroun...
Posted by Paul on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 08:25:00 PST