Porkchop Express profile picture

Porkchop Express

I am here for Friends

About Me

I eat food. I have a valid drivers license. One of my testicles hangs slightly lower than the other. I walk upright. I have all 20 of my original fingers and toes. I am governed by the laws of gravity. My nose is slightly crooked. I'm a mammal. I speak english and drunken gibberish. I have opinions. I have inferior mathmatical skillz. I poop. I have opposable thumbs. I think monkeys are funny. I probably have better taste in films and music than you do. I don't beleive my farts smell bad. I refuse to pay parking tickets. I own an alarm clock.

My Interests

Listening to, shopping for, watching live, talking about, and playing music. Also movies, mountain biking, fishing, hiking, boating, eating, sleeping, screwing(my beautiful girlfriend), my truck, The Washington Redskins, and drinking.

I'd like to meet:

Yeah, this is gay. But I don't care.

Music:

CURRENT TOP 5

Movies:

Big Trouble in Little China!!! Blade Runner, The Killer, Wet Hot American Summer, Reanimator, Army of Darkness, Resevoir Dogs, John Carpenter's The Thing, Anything by David Cronenberg(Videodrome, the Fly, Dead Ringers, Scanners, Naked Lunch), Baraka, Cabin Fever, Pan's Labyrinth, Koyaanisqatsi, Powaqqatsi, Dead Alive, American Beauty, The Thin Red Line, Apocolypse Now, The Endless Summer, The Sweet Hereafter, Step Into Liquid, Open Your Eyes, Jaws, Little Shop Of Horrors, The Crow, Primer, Children Of Men, Bubba Ho-Tep, Man Bites Dog, City of Lost Children, American Psycho, Hostel, Killing Zoe, The Host, 300..

Television:

Shark Hunter Tournament on VS, Weeds, VH1 Classics, Dinner For Five on IFC, Football, Travel Channel, Adult Swim, Extreme 4X4, Little People Big World, nature documentaries, Nip Tuck, Heroes, COPS...

Books:

The Velveteen Rabbit, A Brief History of Time, The Communist Manifesto, Day of Creation, Slaughter House Five....

Heroes:

Sting.I admire anyone who has a career so amazing that it allows them the luxury of being able to suck in the later parts, yet continue to make tons of money.

My Blog

Sport show

Can someone tell me what is going on in the world of sports? Every time I read or watch the news I have another reason to be disappointed. The 2 things I am particularly saddened by are the state of c...
Posted by Porkchop Express on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:59:00 PST

New gameshow

So, I came up with an idea for a new gameshow at work today. It's called "Let me tell YOU something!" and it works like Jeopardy! except that each catagory has sub catagories with various topics. The ...
Posted by Porkchop Express on Thu, 17 May 2007 11:50:00 PST

What have I done?

It only takes a moment. One moment for a life to change. Life is made up of moments, strung together on the web of time, spiraling outwards into infinity. Some of these (perhaps most of these) moments...
Posted by Porkchop Express on Tue, 02 May 2006 11:13:00 PST

Funny poop story by my friend Tim

Well, we've all had some poop tales, and I just had one worthy of telling. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to poop with other people around. All day there's been people in the bathroom, so I'v...
Posted by Porkchop Express on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 10:48:00 PST

The greatest invention

I feel that the Chipotle burrito bowl is civilized mans greatest contribution to modern society. I had one for lunch a few hours ago and I am still full. This is impressive as eat all the ti...
Posted by Porkchop Express on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 01:50:00 PST