--- .. KRYSTINA AND CLINTON
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Kiss me in the rain and love me forever...
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=================================== .. ---------- " Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted. I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside Wake up, freak Let the wind bIow the leaves and Iet your fingers be the leaves, What kind of tree can you be down there on the floor? I'm a fucking shrub, all right?!?! Good luck, crazy bitch. Its not fair, its not fair 74 is the perfect weight! ....What do they know about being normal? .Lisa thinks she's hot shit cause she's a sociopath. No one cares if you die, Lisa, because you're dead already. Your heart is cold. That's why you keep coming back here. You're not free. You need this place to feel alive. It's pathetic. Lisa's eyes, once so magnetic, now just Iook empty. When you don't want to feel... death can seem like a dream. But, seeing death - really seeing it... makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous Razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live What? Because I don't want to kiII myseIf? That's not cooI to you? I'm a pathoIogicaI Iiar. Maybe everyone out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is stupid, and ignorant. But I'd rather be in it. Id' rather be fucking in it, than down here with you You think your free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life! How am I supposed to recover when I don't even understand my disease? BorderIine between what and what? Borderline Personality Disorder. An instability of self-image, relationships and mood... uncertain about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging. TeII me that you don't drag that bIade across your skin and pray for the courage to press down. HeIp me understand. Daisy Randone. She kiIIed herseIf. I couldn't stand up to her A decent person wouId have done something. I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. What are your fIaws? Are they fIaws? Big questions, big decisions. Maybe we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds. My final diagnosis.: A recovered borderline.What that means, l still don't know. Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them. " -----------
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====My
Heroes ..==
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