Smile Poltergeist are:
1. Heavy, intense and sometimes as soft as the inside of a Faberge egg that has fallen into the leaf of an adolescent tulip.
2. From the northern territory of the Lincolnshire Wolds, home of naughty boy Robert Kleason (actual Texas chainsaw masochist!)
3. Unable to provide an alibi and are indeed You Gee El Why…..UGLY!
4. Going to wet the heads of babies up and down the land in the churches of rock.
5. Going to assess whether your moshing dresscode is appropriate enough, if not, they will make you perform in your pants and vest.
6. Phil – likes reading, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and baking.
7. Mike – likes shorts, the early morning attire of Randy McKak (the famed barbershop quartet vocalisationalist) and patting puppies.
8. Dave – likes long walks on the beach, collecting the monthly editions of ‘Patchwork Pride’ and was coincidentally the 1994 under 13 swingball championship runner up, beaten only by his arch nemesis Dingleperk Humpychink.
9. Tom – likes residue, flashing lights and the floral designs of post-war poultry coffins (particularly the works of the late George Bugerk).
WATCH HOW WE WON THE ROCK OPEN 2007 BELOW....
