So myself and Jon English were on Judge Judy... |
...because Jon was suing an English teacher for mispronouncing a word, and Jon English took offence to this because he invented the English language.
Judge Judy was angry about this, as she al...
Posted by Dao on Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:59:00 PST |
So I’m the lead character in the new Monopoly movie... |
...only thing is, I have to shave my head and wear a monocle.
And the Irish chicks from B*witched are also making a guest appearance.
I only just beat Troy Dann and his dead dog to the part.
I sort...
Posted by Dao on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 03:36:00 PST |
So I tripped over Leanne Rimes in a stairwell... |
...silly girl shouldn't have been sitting there.
I felt pretty bad, until I remembered the time her cousin Busta yelled at me.
I think it is karma that she was tripped over by me, karma for when Bus...
Posted by Dao on Sat, 04 Aug 2007 02:40:00 PST |
So I saw a UFO, and nobody believes me... |
...except this guy.
Posted by Dao on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 11:07:00 PST |
So I lived in the bush for a week... |
...and it rained, non-stop.
I bumped into Rihanna, who said I could stand under her umbrella ella ella eh eh eh.
This was handy because I was currently sick, I ate some raw chicken and contracted sa...
Posted by Dao on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 02:07:00 PST |
So Kamahl is dead... |
...he was hit by a train.
+ =
This was a sad day, especially for Nelly Furtado, because she was actually Kamahl's long-lost daughter. Nelly was laying on the couch all day, c...
Posted by Dao on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 05:27:00 PST |
So I've developed a cheese addiction... |
...I can't help myself, no rush is greater than snorting up a big line of freshly grated Colombian 100% A-grade Parmesan.
The only thing that can compare is shooting up a hit of melted cheddar...
.....
Posted by Dao on Mon, 21 May 2007 03:47:00 PST |
So I have a job as Britney Spears' hairdresser... |
...and what most people don't realise is that she has only gone bald because she is playing the part of Yoda in the new Star Wars movie:
Her stunt double is none other than my ladyfriend Elly, I spok...
Posted by Dao on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:03:00 PST |
So I cross-bred my grandad and a yak... |
...but we ate the by-product for dinner tonight:
This was good, but then I had a court appointment, I'm currently sueing Red Bull for false advertising. I have been drinking their product ...
Posted by Dao on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 03:45:00 PST |
So I just signed a deal for a new modelling contract... |
...I'm actually gonna be a salami model, there is a high demand in Venezuela for salami models, and my salami-holding skills are second to none. I had to fly to Caracas for a photo shoot, but th...
Posted by Dao on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 08:55:00 PST |
