my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal

About Me

'I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless...'

Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
My name is Johanna.
I'm far away from being original.
Music World. Music is what makes life liveable.
I constantly wonder what it feels like to be different from me.
I never know what to say.
Sometimes i just sit and skip through memories.
I live inside my head a lot.
Expression of thoughts and feelings is my obsession.
I love getting to know people.
I talk really fast.
Mandatory alone time.
Constantly sleep-deprived.
People sometimes both scare me and piss me off.
I'm a very awkward person.
I worry too much about what other people think about me.
The future freaks me out.
I love life.
bn, sn, icq: kikskrumme

write me =]
Dear Kiks,

Cyanide and Happiness

Cyanide and Happiness
Myspace Layouts at MySpaceSupport.com

My Interests

Music
Books
Singing
Writing
Psychology
Marvelous Things

Pictures in a Scroll Box

Dreamcatchers. Dark Night Skies. Holding Hands. Fireflies. Hugs. Nail Polish. Tea. Bells. Eyeshadow. Sunsets. Daydreams. Starlight. Fall. Fairies. Thunderstorms. Running Mascara. Chocolate. Train Rides. Dark Blue. The Smell Of Rain. Mixed Tapes. Old Castles. Futures. The Whole God/Death/Mortality/Afterlife Thing. Boys. Fashion. Self-Expression. Meaninglessness. Insanity.

I'd like to meet:

my...soulmate or something

Music:

3 Doors Down
Amber Pacific
Angels & Airwaves
Armor For Sleep
Avril Lavigne
Bayside
Billy Talent
Blink 182
Bloc Party
Box Car Racer
Boys Like Girls
Brand New
Cartel
Circa Survive
Cute Is What We Aim For
Dashboard Confessional
Death Cab For Cutie
Donots
Eisley
Evanescence
Fall Out Boy
Fightstar
Finch
Flyleaf
Forgive Durden
Good Charlotte
Green Day
Hellogoodbye
Incubus
Jack's Mannequin
Jimmy Eat World
Kill Hannah
Linkin Park
Lostprophets
Meg & Dia
Michelle Branch
Motion City Soundtrack
My Chemical Romance
Nelly Furtado
October Fall
Panic! At The Disco
Paramore
Plain White T's
Relient K
Rise Against
Saosin
Sarah McLachlan
Simple Plan
Something Corporate
Stacie Orrico
Sugababes
Sum 41
Switchfoot
Taking Back Sunday
The Academy Is...
The All-American Rejects
The Hush Sound
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
The Starting Line
The Used
The Veronicas
This Providence
Three Days Grace
Third Eye Blind
Thrice
Trapt
Vanessa Carlton
Yellowcard

Movies:

-The Butterfly Effect
-Requiem For A Dream
-Over The Hedge
-The Lion King (aaaach hdm xD)
-Star Wars Episode III
-X-Men
-Crash
-American Beauty
'...it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.'
-Donnie Darko
'every creature on this earth dies alone'
-Prozac Nation
-Closer

Television:

Prison Break
House
Scrubs
South Park
/Grey's Anatomy
/Veronica Mars
/Buffy
/Angel
/Dark Angel

Books:

-harry potter!!!!!xD
-the perks of being a wallflower-stephen chbosky
-thr3e-ted dekker
-der satanarchÃ¤olÃ¼genialkohÃ¶llische wunschpunsch(The Satanarchaeolidealcohellish Notion Potion/The Night of Wishes)-michael ende
-anything chuck palahniuk/terry pratchett
-The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy-Douglas Adams

Heroes:

artists...all writers, musicians, photographers/painters, and anybody else who expresses their feelings and thoughts, who can reach people...touching our hearts, making us think

fall out boy.

My Blog

mental illness is a coping mechanism

i was gonna write'i was gonna write this dramatic insight of my life and post it online for everyone to see as i always do with my heart on my sleeve, but then i thought better of it, so i'm just gonn...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:39:00 PST

kiss me electric.

it’s not that i do not care- i didn’t wanna know because then i’d have to realize i couldn’t do anything to help and there is no connection. i feel pretty useless as it is. i g...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:39:00 PST

searching for my heartbeat on the wrong side; the right side

motion city soundtrack- broken heartI'll start this broken heartI'll fix it up so it will work againBetter than beforeThen I'll star in a mysteryA tragic tale of all that's yet to comeFingers crossed...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Sat, 02 Feb 2008 12:43:00 PST

wasting time...

i'm living fast, way too fast. still i'm not getting anywherethoughts feelings full stop.maybe i'm just always missing the moment the epiphanymy mind is not equipped with a brake, but there are more t...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:34:00 PST

fall is over, and i find myself falling all over

and changing colours, just like the leaves. i love november. sitting at the bus station in the cold, listening to jesus christ, watching my hands slowly turn blue. this feels more real to me than anyt...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 10:30:00 PST

missing

those thoughts were so hard on me, like diamonds. made the part of my mind they were trapped in even harder. now they are gone. because i spend them. i traded them in for nothing but a momentarily rel...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 12:31:00 PST

my heart is a square

don't let your guard down, because i can catch myself scanning everything you say for things i could use, and don't leave me alone with myself. the part of my mind that's the farest away from my consc...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 01:09:00 PST

neverland

let's take a day offit's weird waiting at the train station with all those strange peopleyou know they want to go somewhere, but you can only wonder where and why'excuse-me, i was just wondering what ...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:22:00 PST

this is a story about writing and lying

...and about how they intertwine. so painfully beautifully. beautifully painfully. putting it all in another dimension now. all those mental leaps and metaphors. by tomorrow i won't know what i ...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 01:04:00 PST

trying to prove to myself that i'm not trying to prove anything to myself

failing miserably. i really am, you know. a little ray of sunshine. not making the world easier to see. blinding you. not warming your skin, burning it. draw me a flowersing me a songget me some pills...
Posted by my name is kiks and i'm pretty much a big deal on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 02:17:00 PST