Apple iPhone
Monkeys , marriage equality , hot fonts , Cool Colours , silence.
"This is America, and we're Christians here -- aside from a few Jewish people who were just born that way -- and I can tell you one thing: Jesus Christ and his apostles were certainly not into "man-on-man action," which is how they describe it on their porno videos, which, I am proud to say, Blockbuster does not carry. Um, I work there and it's very family...
[pause]
Plus, that religion John Travolta belongs to."
•••
"Harriet! Har-ee-et. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
•••
"HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE."
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
•••
"Being gay and Italian is a fate worse than... actually there is no fate worse than being gay and Italian."
•••
"This is my gardener Clayton Boone. He's never met a princess before, only queens."
•••
"C'mon, he's insane. Look. Right now he's probably dancing around in his grandma's panties, yeah, rubbing himself in peanut butter."
•••
"I love you."
[slaps him twice] "Snap out of it!"
•••
"Oh, daddy? I'm a lesbian. A big one."
•••
"There, now your fucked."
•••
"Can you hammer a six-inch nail through a board with your penis?"
"Not yet."
"A girl's gotta have her standards."
•••
"We need to open another bottle of vodka. It seems that you put most of the last bottle in your mouth."
•••
"I swear by my wife's little black mustache, I see a windmill."
•••
"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
•••
"Oh Clyde, I have nothing against a good fuck. But there is danger here. Someone has to do something about it."
•••
"Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves."
Sellevision, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dry, Greater Buffalo Phone Book, A Series of Unfortunate Events, sketch books.