Eatafetus profile picture

Eatafetus

Never trust a big butt and a smile.

About Me

Eatafetus was brought into this world to remind the people that there is not more to life than bending elbows the wrong way and having sex with drunken minors. The world is a sad place so make sure you hurt as many people as possible and stick your dick into the nearest willing wet hole. Eat fatty food and indulge yourself in all that is wrong. Love us or hate us, we will still play our shitty anthems as loud as possible. Hear what the skeptics have to say:
I'd rather tickle a limp dicked dead hyena than ever listen to that poppycock again - Larry the Satellite Installer Guy
Whoa! - Keanu Reeves
I wouldn't let Eatafetus drink my cum if they were dying of thirst - Dr. Phil !!BUY OUR SHIT!!
all prices include postage. click the image to buy online through paypal.
-CDs-
"Shitty Songs for Shitty People" cd $8
"We Are The Lunch Rush" e.p. $5
-Shirts-
A real american hero. S-XL $12, XXL $13
Mr. T ain't scared of shit, except planes. S-XL $12, XXL $13
He had sex with my mama. S-XL $12, XXL $13

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 3/28/2005
Band Website: way to poor to afford those
Band Members: Jason "Dirty Eggs" Bauman aka Tucker the Toddler Fucker aka Naughty Nikolai aka Brutus Von Beatabitch- vocals/kazoo/cynical asshole...AIM Name - Eatafetus138
Adam ''Bitchin' Tits'' Nurre aka Frankie Flatbread aka Saucy Sprinkler Ass aka Beaver Tooth Boris - drums/vocals/dirty feet...AIM Name - Midget641
Miguel the Dirty Mexican aka Tapioca Tiggy aka Tony Two Shoes aka Miggy B. Stroganoff aka Tic-Tac Tony Titty Flicker - guitar/knife fights/metal noises
Andy "Crybaby" Dole aka Rodney Q. Thunderbottom aka The Pubeless Wonder aka Andy Van Damme - bass/hugs/chef pants

drunk dialers, unite! Get Your Own Voice Player Manage

Influences: Cheese Coneys, Male Models, Crave Cases, Garbage Pail Kids, Jason's boyfriend Joey, Women (only below the belt), Karate, Dripping Nipple Wax, all of our Dojos, Jean Claude Van Damme (Lionheart only, although kickboxer 2 is the tits), TJ Houshamanzadeh, and Danny Devito.
Sounds Like: Imagine walking into an orgy with your mother wearing nothing but boots and bling. Your mom looks at you and asks you for a diet rootbeer, then you spit in her face and tell her that you never liked watching "Hee-Haw". A giant bird then comes out of the sky and bites Micheal Bolton's third nipple off. He belts out a few notes while a train runs over a herd of homosexual llamas a few feet away. It sounds like a mix between that and James Taylor.

we use these strings. niiice.
Record Label: I'll take three
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Lyrics for the new E.P., "We Are The Lunch Rush" l

My Sweet Little Jew Biscuit My darling Chantay, Your head looks good on my mantel where I kiss your lips and skull fuck out your pretty eyes.My baby chantay,Have you seen my wallet?  It was made ...
Posted by Eatafetus on Mon, 21 May 2007 01:17:00 PST

We stand for freedom!!!

If you haven't already figured it out, Eatafetus Trio is strictly a freedom rock band.  We follow in the footsteps of freedom rock pioneers John Mellencamp, Ted Nugent, Nickelback, and Ol Dirty B...
Posted by Eatafetus on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 09:02:00 PST

Maybe I'll get around to bitch slapping a pork chop after South Park.

So as I sit around getting stoned waiting for the sun to come up so I can go to sleep, I am taken aback by a commercial for a hunting show on ESPN.  Its not the fact that people watch this show t...
Posted by Eatafetus on Sat, 20 May 2006 03:43:00 PST

Douches

Top 10 Douchebags 10.  Sean Penn - Did anyone see this jackass in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina?  He was out on a fucking boat floating around the flood saving kittens and shit. ...
Posted by Eatafetus on Wed, 03 May 2006 11:02:00 PST

eatafetus merch now available

a recent scientific study concluded that by purchasing at least two stupid useless items a year, you can lower your risk of getting eaten by zombies up to 28.3%for more information on this research, c...
Posted by Eatafetus on Mon, 06 Feb 2006 05:33:00 PST

OMG...TEH MOST BESTEST BLOG EVR!!! 4REAL!!!!

dude....i think land before time seven was, like, THE most b.a. movie ever created. last friday i had waffles for brunch, it wuz kewl....lol! no but seriously...think about this: what would happen if ...
Posted by Eatafetus on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 02:39:00 PST

Bob Saget stole my cheese bread!

Hello children!  I hope shits been going well in whatever little land your residing in.  Here at the house of fetus we've been keeping busy playing karaoke on the xbox, eating coney crates, ...
Posted by Eatafetus on Fri, 13 Jan 2006 10:42:00 PST

I traded my testicles for the new limp bizkit album

Ok so the above is a lie, but really is it that important in todays society where you can trade a beaver skin jacket for a blowjob in any backalley along the boardwalk.  I didnt think so fuckers ...
Posted by Eatafetus on Sat, 19 Nov 2005 03:03:00 PST

I've killed bitches for less.

Hosted By: Bitches Get Stiches ProductionsWhen: Sunday Oct 30, 2005 at 7:00 PMWhere: The Eatafetus Pit of Bukaki2323 Rohs StreetCincinnnati, OH 45219USDescription:Bitches Get Stiches Productions Click...
Posted by Eatafetus on Sat, 29 Oct 2005 03:28:00 PST

We're ugly fags....damn

Every so often people decide to send us hatemail.  Im guessing that they think its gonna get us all mad and shit but in reality we find it funny and encourage more of it.  Today I got the fo...
Posted by Eatafetus on Wed, 28 Sep 2005 06:14:00 PST