Samuel L Samson qualified from the University of Dunbar with an honours degree in Cheese Studies. Before entering journalism he won international acclaim for his novel of fin-de-siecle love in the buttery - 'Cheddar With Rosie', before moving into writing screenplays for movies such as 'Camembert Obscura' and 'Stilton Waters Run Deep'.
His seminal short film 'Semen' received the 2003 Baton D'Or at the Perigord 'Festival de la Mummerie Extraordinaire'; he also received a special commendation from the Brixton Institute of Manual Labourers for his ground-breaking "Man With a Pneumatic Drill."
Sam was asked to submit a short autobiography, but according to his publicist, he was unfortunately 'too feckless and lazy'. So instead here's a haiku he wrote on the subject of internet love affairs:
'I'm falling for you
I sent you a looooong email.
I hope you're female.'
It's fairly shallow and meaningless, but that's our Sam.
Mr Samson lives in California, Derby, England. He is not now, nor has he ever been, Afro-Caribbean.
