cbates76 ©2006 profile picture

cbates76 ©2006

The Third Most Popular 'Craig Bates' on the Interwebs

About Me


twitter.com/craigbates
  • William Hung - 8/3/04
  • England - 8/3/04
  • Fat Pants - 8/3/04
  • Nintendo - 8/3/04
  • My Interests

    Writing, Reading, Curling, Yahoo Serious Films, The Comedy of Gallagher, Phil Collins, Buffalo Bills, Underdogs, Television, Tivo, Wrestling Biographies, Good Stand-up, Good Sketch Comedy, Skittles, Snickers, Salt n' Vinegar Chips, Chinese Food

    I'd like to meet:

    Your mom. Don't get personal.

    Music:

    Will Smith -- Why...because he's the VOICE OF MY GENERATION! Who else could have written the following lyrics - (excluding major studio publicity departments):

    Told me Loveless is a mad man, but I don't fear that
    Got mad weapons too, ain't tryin to hear that
    Tryin to bring down me, this champion
    When y'all clowns gon' see that it can't be done
    Understand me son, I'm the slickest they is,
    I'm the quickest as they is, did I say I'm the slickest they is
    So if you barking up the wrong tree we comin, don't be startin nothin
    Me and my partner gonna test your chest, Loveless
    Can't stand the heat then get out the Wild Wild West

    Still Not Convinced...what...you want more...fine...

    Alright check it
    Let me tell you this in closing
    I know we might seem imposing
    But trust me if we ever show in your section
    Believe me its for your own protection
    Cause we see things that you need not see
    And we be places that you need not be
    So go on with your life
    Forget that roswell crap
    Show love to the black suit cause
    Thats the men in
    Thats the men in

    Movies:

    I'm not a film snob, but I will say this -- Anyone that does NOT like Happy Gilmore or Dumb and Dumber will not occupy a place on my friends list*. Let's see..what else -- Shawshank, early eighties Bill Murray films, any Spielberg before he tried to change the world, any Harrison Ford film...GI Joe the Movie.

    I have cried at the following films:

  • Big Fish
  • The Elephant Man
  • E.T.
  • Legends of the Fall
  • Glory
  • Schindler's List
  • Rudy
  • Forrest Gump (Is he smart...or is he...?)
  • Green Mile, The
  • Simon Birch
  • * Unless you're hot and/or showing cleavage.
    ** No fatties...seriously.

    Television:

    32' inch Sharp with Picture in Picture. What a fuckin' Stupid question!!

    Books:

    Ever since this whole James Frey thing, I've given up reading. Too painful. I don't even read street signs or e-mails anymore...can't trust it. I'm actually having a Haitian sweatshop worker type this. He's young, but his fingers are small and perfect for..PLease To HELp ME STOp tIPING for CRAYG. My NaYme iz HECtor...

    Heroes:

    COMEDY -- Stephen Colbert, Will Ferrell, David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, Jon Stewart, Phil Hartman, Will Sasso, Chris Farley, Dennis Miller REAL LIFE -- Dad, Mom, Nick (For coming to the U.S. with only the shirts on our backs) HISTORICALLY -- No one. Believe nothing and Question Everything!

    My Blog

    9/8/07 - An Open Letter to Elvis Presley

    Hey E --It's time to come out of hiding now. Game's over. You punked us. You need to come back and get a handle on this licensing problem that you have. It used to be cool.. Elvis jacket...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 01:28:00 PST

    9/1/07 - Chillin

    Did you guys know that I'm famous?  Well, I am.  Not only did I audition this week to be the voice and anchor of my company's video newsletter, as well as having my improv show seen by the m...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:03:00 PST

    8/20/07 - My Day, by Craig A. Bates (31 Years Old)

    5:20 a.m. Awake still battling sinus infection. Although bloody mucus has disappeared, it has been replaced by uncomfortable post-nasal drip, itchy throat, and deep phlegm the color of Army Fatigues.5...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 08:49:00 PST

    7/23/07 - Here's Johnny!!

    When one commutes an average of five and a half hours a day, one realizes how much time they are wasting in motorized transport. In order to take advantage of this time, yours truly has been trying t...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 02:28:00 PST

    07/07/07 - Sitting in My New House

    I'm watching Fox News Channel's Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld. One of the co-hosts of this show, Bill Schulz, was my freshman year roommate. He's now a freelance writer living in NY. He was my closest ...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 12:51:00 PST

    06/11/07 - Craig Interviews Himself

    Q: How come you don't blog any more?A: I'm busy. Q: Seriously?A: I'm being serious. I'm busy. I'm moving. Bought a home in San Jacinto, which used to be the easiest football game on Elsinore High S...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:47:00 PST

    5/23/07 - American Idol Running Diary

    7:40 Well&what the heck? I didn't know there was a half hour pre-show on the red carpet. I just turned on the tv to prepare for my running diary, and bam&Teri Hatcher is preaching on the virtues of ...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Thu, 24 May 2007 10:41:00 PST

    4/25/07 - Back Home

    Sadie was laid to rest yesterday, and I was happy to be one of the gentlemen that carried her vessel to her final resting place.  I'd never seen this before, but since her favorite colors were pi...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 08:35:00 PST

    4/20/07 - The Little One Keeps Asking for his Mom

    Man kills estranged wife, then himselfMan kills wife, then himself in MurrietaFunds set up to help boys after Murrieta murder-suicideThe little one keeps asking for his mom.  His name is Alex and...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 11:23:00 PST

    3/27/07 - Things 30 Year-Olds Do!

    BEFORE I BEGIN...you can always be alerted of when I post a new blog by clicking on subscribe to my blog.  You can also check out my official site at http://www.craigbates.com where I som...
    Posted by cbates76 ©2006 on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 12:18:00 PST