The latest scores are in:
Arsenal 15 - 0 Europe
Arsenal's impressive start to the season continues as they romped to a Theo Walcott inspired 7 - 0 thrashing of Slavia Prague of the Czech Republic. Amongst others, Cesc 'The best spaniard since "The Spaniard"' Fabregas and Aleksandr 'Waspish' Hleb put in exemplary performances. This reporter has run out of superlatives to describe the Gunner's orgasmatronic brand of footballing awesometry which simply left Europe on their knees.The Jelas 1 - 1 Funk
A dour competition between two of football's less gifted teams saw Funk take the lead after a mistake from The Jelas' rhythm section left them exposed; it appeared they simply (and perhaps justifiably) had not been expecting any forward thinking from team Funk. Funk, never knowingly but perhaps always offensive, seemed to be as suprised as The Jelas having siezed the initiative. The Jelas fought their way back into the game after some self-indulgent and dawdling Funk play left them vunerable to another self-righteous and pretentious attack from The Jelas, this time with the most devastating of results. Funk threatened to recapture the lead when an over-confident forward attempted to tap-dance his way through the entire Jelas team but it was to no avail as their defence held strong.Match reports by Brad Gamma.
Music Video for Pure Mathematics by Ben Reed.
Not a little literate lunar satire.
"Phillip Pullman, is he the greatest storyteller ever?" (The OBSERVER)
The Jelas play experimental pop songs in a brisk fashion for people with short attention spans.
We are de-constructionist, and feminist.
MISTAKES DRIVES THE BLUNDERBUSS
The Jelas' new album
is here! here! here! here! here!
Clocking in at an epic 29min20secs it features playing from all three contemporary members.
Yours for only £3! with lovingly crafted artwork. Contact us if you're interested. We can post one to you. I doubt we'll even wait for the cheque to clear before doing so.
We'll play a gig if you ask us.