von jones profile picture

von jones

EVIL LIKE MOM.

About Me


when life gives you lemons,
you paint that shit gold.

(not to be mistaken for this nice young woman: myspace.com/vonjones )

My Interests

4 8 15 16 23 42, good clean fun, dirty stinking drunken-ness, hair of the dog, glassware, straws, felt mountain, the matterhorn, disneyland, fairytale whipping sessions, mary's @ east atlanta, jewish! disco! mafia!, the electric mayhem, M words, J names, dropping the G, character map, x-bar theory, m.l.a. outline format, falling snow, trees, those useless trees, those beautiful trees, mario kart double dash, bandanas, big guns, train robbers, shoot-em-up bandits, prison stripes, bench warrants, southern twang, british accents, french language, japanese pop culture, thai food, italian lovers, monica bellucci, mandolins, harpsichords, circus organs, giraffes in love, pink elephants, beta mouse, genetically enriched bunny clones, general jinjur and the army of revolt, roslin for prez, founding fathers, uncle status, benevolent mother figures, the ecstacy of st. theresa, katharine hepburn, zzzzzzzombies!, dichotomy, black ____ white ____, color by technicolor, high contrast uncoordinated, todd oldham, the mam, the vons, the dormans, the hornbuckles, team kjgj

I'd like to meet:


home sweet home.

Music:

add n to (x), air, the b-52's, the bangles, basement jaxx, beck, pat benatar, berlin, björk, black box recorder, black rebel motorcycle club, brazilian girls, neko case, chromeo, cibo matto, death from above 1979, goldfrapp, pj harvey, heart, nellee hooper, hooverphonic, hot chip, wanda jackson, the kills, julie london, m.i.a., missy gossip + the secretkeepers, mono, róisín murphy, no doubt, olive, peaches, portishead, the pretenders, the psychedelic waltons, queens of the stone age, radiohead, the raveonettes, res, the reverend horton heat, röyksopp, santogold, services, siouxsie and the banshees, sneaker pimps, spalding rockwell, gwen stefani, yann tiersen, emiliana torrini, tricky, armand van helden, rosie vela, amy winehouse, yaz, yeah yeah yeahs

Movies:

8 women, 10 things i hate about you, 12 monkeys, the addams family (1+2), adventures in babysitting, batman returns, being john malkovich, buffy the vampire slayer, clue, cq, death becomes her, death proof, desk set, don't tell mom the babysitter's dead, ed wood, the great outdoors, gummo, i drink your blood, i heart huckabees, an ideal husband, i'm with lucy, indiana jones and the temple of doom, jackie brown, jawbreaker, kamikaze girls, kill bill (1+2), leonard part 6, mad monster party, malena, mars attacks, planet terror, the ref, return of the living dead, the royal tenenbaums, scrooged, shag, she-devil, spaceballs, sympathy for lady vengeance, titus, v for vendetta, virgin suicides, weird science, the witches of eastwick

Television:

arrested development, battlestar galactica, charm school, lost, the nanny, project runway, the riches, robot chicken, seinfeld, strangers with candy, venture bros., wonder showzen, the x-files

Books:

tom robbins, oscar wilde, the brothers grimm

Heroes:

cousin toddie.

My Blog

2008.01.25 lovers and crypts

i think that "paper planes" by m.i.a.should be the official song for the 2008 summer olympics.i've never witnessed so much universal camaraderie over one songsince, like, the happy birthday song.or ma...
Posted by von jones on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:32:00 PST

2008.01.19 like diamond horseshoe

always blog when it snows. this morning.it snowed wednesday, too, but this one is prettier.no two snows are exactly the same.snow rations:2 packs of cigarettes0.5 bottles of vodka0.5 bottles of evan w...
Posted by von jones on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 08:45:00 PST

2008.01.17 unibrow sunglasses

bryan tells me last night that he thinks the sexiest quality in a manis confidence.that's a pretty good one.however, let's not confuse "confidence" with "narcissism".there is a wide difference.my numb...
Posted by von jones on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 07:51:00 PST

2008.01.16 the killing kind

i guess it's not something you think about on a regular basis.out of sight, out of mind - right?maybe you don't know its worth until you desperately need it.and you find yourself frustrated. sad. de...
Posted by von jones on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 06:28:00 PST

2008.01.15 give me an hour to kiss you

shucks.sophie b. hawkins just sent me a myspace friend request.nothing can kill this high, boy.http://www.myspace.com/sophiebhawkinstonite, i'll be your mother. ...
Posted by von jones on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:26:00 PST

2008.01.10 said the joker to the thief

my darling (and very pregnant) sister sent me a box of life cereal. cinnamon. she also sent me a justice league coloring book and a nice little note on some hello kitty stationery stating that she s...
Posted by von jones on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:13:00 PST

2008.01.09 well, we had to do something

the law of diminishing returns, sometimes referred to as "variable factor proportions," states that as equal quantities of one variable factor are increased, while other factor inputs remain co...
Posted by von jones on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:49:00 PST

2008.01.08 on about weddings and psychotic animals

"the chinese government has cracked down on the custom of having a stripper perform at burials.  the deceased is thought to fare better in the afterlife if more people bid him farewell, so some f...
Posted by von jones on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 01:54:00 PST

2008.01.07 if you dont eat yourself

"there are so many guns in the united states that if you gave one to every adult, you would run out of adults before you ran out of guns."after being displaced for a week, i've determined the top thre...
Posted by von jones on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 07:58:00 PST

2007.04.08 when the kicks go

my birthday is now officially over. the wild nights of apple pie and champagne behind kroger are gone for now. i really wanted to write a blog so i can remember the snow. a friday night of drinking...
Posted by von jones on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 08:53:00 PST