Webbstar

Mr. John Webb is generally regarded by all experts as “the greatest person who has ever lived thus far.” He tops the world in fields of science, art, diplomacy, athletics, and fashion. He has won the Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer Prize, and the Booby Prize. He won the Triple Crown in both baseball and horse racing. He’s one bad dude. He is the reigning poet laureate of Iceland. He doesn’t sleep. He was country when country wasn’t cool. Mr. Webb can cook minute rice in thirty seconds. He found the cure for the Summertime Blues. He is a founding member of the Hall of Justice. He shot J.R. Everybody was Kung-fu fighting. It has been proven that Mr. Webb has never been stuck in a traffic jam. He transcribed the Rosetta Stone. He has crossed both the English Channel and the Disney Channel. He climbed Mt. Everest and remarked, “I don’t see what the big deal is.” He fought the law and won. The printer never malfunctions when Mr. Webb prints a document. He has never uttered the phrase “let’s just be friends.” He is so fast that he can turn off the light switch, run to bed, get under the covers and fall asleep before it gets dark... except that he never sleeps (see above). He has never lost a sock in the dryer. Critics have hailed his work as “miraculous,” “pitiful,” and “the funniest work I’ve seen since the out-takes of ‘Cannonball Run 2.’... And oh yeah, when he puts on a Gold Jacket, he is the world’s greatest breakdancer.