Dave is a Disasterpiece

Partying as hard or harder than Andrew WK, spending time with my friends, music, movies, TV, reading, writing, Internet, clothes, drinking, comedy, good times, going out, wrestling, socialising, spending time with selected members of my family, gigs, festivals, girls, video games, bars, clubs, Vince McMahon's facial expressions, pirates, hot girls in black and white, hiding from reality, Samoa Joe's bootscraping frivolity, talking Christ-figure lions, Aragorn's big speech in Return of the King, the Latino Heat shuffle, poker, THE BEAST!!~ as a description, Homestar Runner, Progressive Boink, Wikipedia, occassional web comics, romance without monotony, Peter Jackson being awesome, Kimberley and Nadine, scene kids amusing/arousing me (depending on gender), fantasy (p.s. not gay), Sourz Towers, the heartpunch, films that make me happy, films that make me sad, Traitor's Embrace, Robot House, a skivin' an' a slackin', Carling tinnies, the language of our group, cheap jokes, being cheap jokes, Jager, Pizza Hut, being a walking contradiction, trips to the cinema, only smoking when it might impress girls even though I am 20 years old, Treelo, writing junk like this which has no meaning, Green Ranger Tommy, arguments about movies and music, Knuckles the Echidna, cinematic situations in real life, FUCKING TREE OF WOE GHETTO STOMPS, rebelling without a cause, scoring, metal n beer, Frat Packers, self-induced orgasms, angst, neurosis, disassociation, Marmite, beards, girl's hair, alcoholism, general vulgarity, Buffyverse, girls who appreciate ladder matches, YouTube, people who embiggen their role with their cromulent performance, the little noises Undertaker makes when he hits people, HOCK, boobies, tacos, the one ring to rule them all, Legends, Smackdown vs. Raw 2006/2007, Solid Snake's surprised reaction to Metal Gear, V's quotes, learning how to smoke a pipe while summoning a falcon, heartagrams, people who have not yet realised that it is no longer the 1980s, LEEDS FESTIVAL BABY, Monster Munch, cheesecake, the realisation that the Masterlock really can't be broken, Tom Cruise's billion dollar smile, getting our Skates on!!~, Steve! appreciation, Soul Calibur III, Karen Loves Kate (not that I'd pay for that shit), Suicide Girls (not that I'd pay for that shit either), Edge being the greatest jerk in the world, girls who accesorise with a rosary tucked inside their lingerie, THE WOMANISING CIRCUIT, girls who challenge me to wrestling matches and then don't get mad when I give them the Finlay kneedrop, Beppe and Walliams, Zane Lowe's unbreakable enthusiasm, Sawyer, that scene in Serenity where River owns a whole bar and looks really fit in the process, Charlie off Corrie's unashamed prickishness, manorexia, filth of every kind, nicotinevaliumvicodenmarijuanaectasyandalcohol, debuachery, meals at the Lonsy, owning the floor with our crazy shapes, wabs, pins, brunette Abi Titmuss, ridiculous emo song titles, the comings and goings of the Thnikkaman, the word 'gash', futile ringing of the bell during a beatdown, nachos, HOLLIE WOODHEAD, pub grub, 1997 WWF, the Victorian era, pole dancers and general gyration, Mitchell and Webb, corsets (not on me, obv), nostalgia, being a dichotomy, knowing what 'dichotomy' means, "Legends give it up for the Fire Dancer!", magic powers, tattoos, girls with tattoos, Halloween, chip'n'dip', Foz off Hollyoaks, care packages from the grandfolks, dragons, Giles singing, papparazzi, Mickie James bum, vampires, Sidewinders from the corner shop, hypnagogia, loose morals, Ellie Dible and Hannah Peckham from PopTheQ, drink and food and pleasurable company, old school Winona Ryder, ZOO magazine, Subway, girls with piercings as long as they aren't ridiculous, funny predictive text typos (such as woke up = wolf up), Halls Soothers, Discworld, Kettle Chips, Vanessa Nimmo's Slipknot tattoo, Gay Tuesdays, DC & JH adventures, discovering how good John Cena is, the Avril Lavigne fishnets and hotpants combination, trampolines, vodka, Shia Le Bouf, getting arrogance down to a science, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll