<< MATT >>

THIS JUST IN...
I just released a music Myspace page!! It's been in the works for 2 months, and I'm really excited for everyone to see it.
Check it out: Fainting Goat Entertainment
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Here's my (updated) story...
Matt's life story began in a small town known as Miami, Florida, in 1980. Two heterosexual humans came together and conceived a child, who they would name Matthew, which means "a whale's vagina." Well, some may disagree with this translation, but those people are communists.
Moving on... this child grew up with orange trees, GI Joe's, Battlecats, and Duck-Duck-Goose. But he began to grow older, said goodbye to friends, and hit the road for Palatine, IL. But since no one cares about Palatine, we'll call it Chicago. Anyway, he played little league baseball and got picked on by kids bigger than him - or kids of at least equal size. But he soon learned to run very fast. Not only was he able to escape the bullies, but he was able to impress the ladies with his incredible sprinting ability.
So he survived childhood, but soon was faced with the horrors of adolescence. Not only that, but Matthew was forced to move again, this time to a "southern" state, where he expected to find people without shoes and lots of moonshine. This was not the case, though, as he discovered the city of Louisville, which was rich with culture and "bluegrass" - whatever that is.
After being picked on for a couple years, he started making friends in high school. This may be do to the fact that he became increasingly confident, or because he kept a massive cucumber in his pants.
So he traveled the world, had some fun, and graduated from high school. Unfortunately, no one cares about a high school diploma. So he decided to attend the University of Louisville. But he failed. Well, maybe he just needed a change.
Anyway, Matt made plans to study music and become a studio player in Nashville, Tennessee - home of every wannabe country music singer in the world. (Most of whom suck ass.) So he studied, played in bands, performed all over the place, and then saw the tuition bill.
Yeah.
Private schools suck.
So he took a break to think things through. Twiddling of thumbs... and was back in school full time after two semesters. This time Matt said to himself, "Self, you should get a business degree. It's much more practical, and you can still use your music credits towards the degree." This time he actually went through with it, and received another piece of paper that says he can do stuff.
Then he played in a bunch of bands - the crowning achievement (failure) being Greenland, which should have been a huge success but fell apart due to YouTube and a bunch of other issues. (Bitterness intended.)
But he continued on, believing that anything is possible, and that change can be a very good thing. But not as good as cookie dough ice cream. Or mint chocolate chip. Or cookies n cream.
So this brings us to the 2007, a year full of heartbreak, transition, and Transformers. (A lot like the 80s, actually.) Anyway, Matt - AKA "Fainting Goat" (don't ask) - decided to take matters into his own hands. After a year of doing accounting and attempting to build a rock band on the side, he said "Enough's enough. I'm going to be a full time musician." So he found himself a wonderful gigging opportunity on the world wide internets. This being a touring gig with country artist Chris Stacy - or Stis Cracy, depending on whether or not you have a speech impediment.
But after about 7 months, Matt decided that Nashville was where he needed to be. Realizing his very atuned ear for music - which is a rather attractive ear actually - he has found a new passion and interest in recording production. This may be a difficult career path, but he is confident. "Some people say you can't make a career out of telling people what to do with their songs" Matt said in a recent MySpace interview. "I don't listen to those people. I listen to my inner-monologue, which in this case is more of an outer-monologue. And why am I writing this bio in third person anyway?"
So "fainting goat" is now pursuing his passion for music in Nashville. Yay. What a surprise. Someone is pursuing a music career in Nashville. Who would have thought? How long can I stretch this lame joke? Probably much longer, but I won't.
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